I finally recognized my problem

[Tortendieb]

I can't relax around a girl I'm attracted to. I mean I'm no beginner, I've read all kinds of stuff, I've been getting laid, but I'm just now returning from a date and I noticed it.

It seems like I never genuinely laugh at a girl's joke, etc... that I have this hawk-like stare - you know, when you're doing something really difficult and concentrating. I think that's what makes me seem very distant and has been putting some of them off... because if I'm not relaxed then she probably wouldn't either. I think that's what's keeping me from getting good rapport.

I probably try too hard to make it right... on the other hand, I have some female friends where I'm totally relaxed with, and it's really easy to "connect" with them. I've had some of them fall for me too... so I think it's really all about not making that much of an effort.

But if I don't make an effort I don't meet girls and no dates happen... any advice?

 

[bigneil]

That is natural early on, but you must desensitize yourself to them by saturating yourself with the presence of beautiful women. Even time in a strip bar can help there. Lean back, don't cross your arms, and just ask them questions to get them to talk about themselves.

 

[drf408]

I can completely relate to this. I have no problem meeting women, but the few I run into that I am absolutely attracted to, I completely go lame. Really sucks. I am hanging out with a cute girl now, however this is a girl that came up to me, I always feel as if I'm settling because I don't go for what I really want.

I ran into this girl I would see around who would smile, stare, I don't think I've ever been as attracted to a girl. She stopped me at the end of the night at club and said hi and that I look familiar. I turned into an idiot that couldn't even just ask her name and leave it at that. Didn't help that I was drunk as #%$. I stared at her, pointed at her, and then just said the name of the place she works where I've seen her. She looked at me, turned around without saying a word and left.

I've seen her a couple times since, including last night and she does everything possible to not look my way. This is only one example, I do this 90% of the time when it comes to the ones I really want. Not sure how to reverse this but one tip I can give, getting drunk will not help you