I dumped my girlfriend for her bad behaviour. She's seen with someone else 3 days after.

[IKO69]

Obsession with an outcome. Closure. Get rid of it. You don't need it. Be obsessed with something else besides women. You will attract better girls

She did him a favor. He doesn't realize how lucky he actually is. He said he confronted her about what she was doing and she blatantly lied to him. IMO that tells you all you need to know about her character. I've confronted women like this in the past when I felt things were going south, i'm a very direct person, and I got the same song and dance. They do it without breaking a sweat and re-assure you things are perfect (when they clearly aren't) and soon enough the dagger gets plunged into your back. I have no tolerance for that and I personally don't understand some of the apologists for it either. Some guys say "oh well that's just female nature" or "how else was she supposed to go about it?", lol, they definitely know what they are doing. They know it is a very ****ty thing to do a person, wouldn't like it then done to them (and HATE IT and become FURIOUS when a guy deceives them in a similar fashion), they just don't care....because they are terrible people. It can blindside you, like the op, because on the surface it seemed like things were okay, after all the relationship could've lasted say a year, but the truth is her real character just hadn't come out yet.

The good thing is the op will realize this overtime and then it'll be easier to move on because there was no real loss. In time she might even come crying after she ****s up her life due to poor decisions.

 

[TheTigerV1]

Thanks Everyone.
She is on Tinder now. This confirms even more that I made the right decision.
It is hard thought. She is a proper barbie doll with soooo many options, and probably the hottest girl I ever had. In the beginning I thought I should have smashed her until I found another girl...but I couldn't take the disrespect. Now I am extremely horny but with no options and I have to start from scratch, meaning that while I know she is getting plowed weekly by some random, I still have to go on a date.

Sometimes I am tempted to call her just to smash so I can plate her, but I know that I am lying to myself and I have to move on.
However, I went to the club and made out with 3 girls..at least it raised my self esteem a bit, which is very needed right now.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She was fvcking him long before you dumped her. Sorry this happened OP. You will bounce back.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

I broke up with my ex for something similar and I had suspicions that she cheated. Cheaters will never admit to cheating and if caught or if they do, they will blame you for it. Don’t worry about it, take the L, take a break from dating if you need to and move on.

 

[samspade]

Man, it stings. I dumped her because she gave me no other choice, she treated me hot and cold for the past 3 weeks, then she lied about her whereabouts one night. She was supposed to be at a flat party but she lied on who was hosting the party. According to her "I would question her for no reason, since I don't like the guy". And yes I did, I questioned her. And have no issue with the guy, I don't like HER shady behaviour. I don't like people who slowly kill a relationship by the constant use of white lies, in order to "not make their partner angry". It erodes trust, It makes me doubt myself and it offends my intelligence.

I enjoyed watching her lying to my face without breaking a sweat, I understood that, after almost 2 years, the girl had absolutely no respect for me. It was not the first time she lied and my trust for her was very fragile at that point.
So I smiled, I f*cked her, sent her a goodbye text, ghosted her and blocked her.
And I grieved, because I wasted 2 years after someone I loved but that did not love me the same way...and I really wished she was different and this relationship could work.

Then a friend of mine sees her with another guy, 3 days after. 3 goddamn days. The guy she was with is part of her new friends group that she met a month ago.
So now I find myself wondering if during the last month I've been played, if the guy was already there and how did I not see it? Two weeks ago she rejected sex a couple of times, which is pretty uncommon. But the way she fu*ked me on the last day together clouded my perception of things. She definitely felt I was about to end it and she wanted to keep me on the leash with good sex.

I feel and I KNOW that I dodged a massive bullet, and I shouldn't be too sad since I was the dumper.
But then why do I feel so hurt? Why dp I want to call her and ask her to tell me the truth, to tell me if she played me (?).. To explain me how she could send me a 4 pages long apology for lying to me and then hang out with someone else 3 days after (?).

Trust me when I say you got a very good ending out of this deal. She was branch-swinging, yes. Which means she lost respect for you. But now she'll always respect you and question herself for the way you stone cold dropped her a$$. She fukked you hard the last time because she could sense it coming. She's with some other guy and now wondering how badly she fukked up - so let her stew in the mess she made and question herself. I don't care how happy she looks, it will torture her.

I was in a similar situation and the girl literally begged me to take her back. The pathetic thing is that I did...she was much more compliant for the remaining months but I don't think either of us respected the other as much after that. Luckily I had no illusions about love, she was a young fukk toy who wanted something more with me. The breach of trust stung, that always sucks, but I would have cheated on her if I had put forth any effort, lol. Looking back on it now I think it's pretty funny and I'm just glad I escaped and learned.

Oh, as for why you feel hurt: She lied, simple as that. Trust broken. Plus competition with another male and you feeling outside the tribe. I.e., they were having fun and left you out. That's your subconscious warning you that you're in danger. Rationally, you know this not to be true. Let 'em have each other. You'll do MUCH better.

 

[derby1]

She is a proper barbie doll with soooo many options, and probably the hottest girl I ever had.

you are BETTER than HER. the only negotiating tool a woman has is her looks, the power she has, is the Power YOU give her. Women have NO other power, to keep a man.

 

[IKO69]

Thanks Everyone.
She is on Tinder now. This confirms even more that I made the right decision.
It is hard thought. She is a proper barbie doll with soooo many options, and probably the hottest girl I ever had. In the beginning I thought I should have smashed her until I found another girl...but I couldn't take the disrespect. Now I am extremely horny but with no options and I have to start from scratch, meaning that while I know she is getting plowed weekly by some random, I still have to go on a date.

Sometimes I am tempted to call her just to smash so I can plate her, but I know that I am lying to myself and I have to move on.
However, I went to the club and made out with 3 girls..at least it raised my self esteem a bit, which is very needed right now.

It was the right decision --- she is not a quality person. You don't want to be emotionally involved with a liar who is disrespectful and dishonest. Had you not ended things she would've eventually done it herself and it would've been a nightmare for the duration of time you remained together. The disrespect, games like hot n cold, all she was doing to upset with you would've been magnified as time went on. It's important to understand there WASN"T anything you could've done to turn things around. When a lot of women decide they no longer care for a guy, they become huge bitches and are vengeful for some reason. They could've been VERY DIFFERENT before this. They are different than men in this regard - with men you can sort of reason things out if there is a problem, but with a lot of women it is generally a waste of time and falls on deaf ears. I've been in your situation before --- the amount of girlfriends I had that were honest about things were probably no more then two, most of my exe's when things were going south pulled these same stunts. It seemed like their goal was to make things as difficult as possible. Before I knew better I tried to "reason" with them with the result being nothing changed, they would keep me in the dark "oh no nothing's wrong" and ramped up the disrespect.

From the time we are interested in girls we are told how they are more mature, better communicators, value honesty etc but experience tells you otherwise lol. They want what they refuse to give. Not every girl of course, but one's that behave like your ex. Her behavior shows you as a person she falls short in all these areas, which is why I tell you it's no loss. These kinds of girls have their own problems and get their karma sooner or later. They lose out in the long run because of their stupid behavior but that's life.

The main things to take away from this experience are to have no tolerance for bs behavior and to realize you will do better. Don't let her to get to you, you'll meet way cooler, friendlier and better looking girls.

 

[Dash Riprock]

But here's where it gets tricky for her. She needs to know that she made the right decision. So she needs consensus. She will get opinions of friends and family (who will all support her of course- it becomes an echo chamber).

This is 100% true. The guy is usually the last person to know if he gets dumped.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Stop thinking about it, you did right. Take that energy and time you used to use on her and focus it on your purpose and your self improvement.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This is 100% true. The guy is usually the last person to know if he gets dumped.

She will run your "score" down to "zero" if you let her.

 

[Dash Riprock]

OP,

We've all been there.

You absolutely did the right thing. 95% of all guys would have tried to renegotiate her attraction and commitment, whined and cried for her to change and come back, and bought into all her lies.

It's a tough, but a really valuable lesson to learn. Now you know the behaviors and red flags first hand.

Why do you miss her? Ahhh, because you're human like everyone else. You're disappointed in the time and emotional investment you made. Kind of like buying a stock at $100, having it run up to $200, but you held and watched it go all the way down to $0. It sucks.

Take some time for you, recalibrate, date for fun (only) and focus on #1 -- YOU and your GOALS.

Good luck.

 

[Kotaix]

Man, it stings. I dumped her because she gave me no other choice, she treated me hot and cold for the past 3 weeks, then she lied about her whereabouts one night. She was supposed to be at a flat party but she lied on who was hosting the party. According to her "I would question her for no reason, since I don't like the guy". And yes I did, I questioned her. And have no issue with the guy, I don't like HER shady behaviour. I don't like people who slowly kill a relationship by the constant use of white lies, in order to "not make their partner angry". It erodes trust, It makes me doubt myself and it offends my intelligence.

I enjoyed watching her lying to my face without breaking a sweat, I understood that, after almost 2 years, the girl had absolutely no respect for me. It was not the first time she lied and my trust for her was very fragile at that point.
So I smiled, I f*cked her, sent her a goodbye text, ghosted her and blocked her.
And I grieved, because I wasted 2 years after someone I loved but that did not love me the same way...and I really wished she was different and this relationship could work.

Then a friend of mine sees her with another guy, 3 days after. 3 goddamn days. The guy she was with is part of her new friends group that she met a month ago.
So now I find myself wondering if during the last month I've been played, if the guy was already there and how did I not see it? Two weeks ago she rejected sex a couple of times, which is pretty uncommon. But the way she fu*ked me on the last day together clouded my perception of things. She definitely felt I was about to end it and she wanted to keep me on the leash with good sex.

I feel and I KNOW that I dodged a massive bullet, and I shouldn't be too sad since I was the dumper.
But then why do I feel so hurt? Why dp I want to call her and ask her to tell me the truth, to tell me if she played me (?).. To explain me how she could send me a 4 pages long apology for lying to me and then hang out with someone else 3 days after (?).

I've been in the same situation of a new group of friends basically breaking up a relationship. In my case the people she was hanging out with were unemployed losers.

But the writing was already on the wall, you'll soon be glad that the cheating wh0re is gone.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

OP,

We've all been there.

You absolutely did the right thing. 95% of all guys would have tried to renegotiate her attraction and commitment, whined and cried for her to change and come back, and bought into all her lies.

It's a tough, but a really valuable lesson to learn. Now you know the behaviors and red flags first hand.

Why do you miss her? Ahhh, because you're human like everyone else. You're disappointed in the time and emotional investment you made. Kind of like buying a stock at $100, having it run up to $200, but you held and watched it go all the way down to $0. It sucks.

Take some time for you, recalibrate, date for fun (only) and focus on #1 -- YOU and your GOALS.

Good luck.

Most of those are setup to be fake stocks like in the movie "boilerroom", setup to harvest time, attention, money, resources, connections, ideas, energy, etc from the "suckers".

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've been in the same situation of a new group of friends basically breaking up a relationship. In my case the people she was hanging out with were unemployed losers.

But the writing was already on the wall, you'll soon be glad that the cheating wh0re is gone.

He might not understand the value of his time, energy, masculinity, and self respect yet. A couple more females like this and he will completely get the memo.

 

[zinc4]

Man, it stings. I dumped her because she gave me no other choice, she treated me hot and cold for the past 3 weeks, then she lied about her whereabouts one night. She was supposed to be at a flat party but she lied on who was hosting the party. According to her "I would question her for no reason, since I don't like the guy". And yes I did, I questioned her. And have no issue with the guy, I don't like HER shady behaviour. I don't like people who slowly kill a relationship by the constant use of white lies, in order to "not make their partner angry". It erodes trust, It makes me doubt myself and it offends my intelligence.

I enjoyed watching her lying to my face without breaking a sweat, I understood that, after almost 2 years, the girl had absolutely no respect for me. It was not the first time she lied and my trust for her was very fragile at that point.
So I smiled, I f*cked her, sent her a goodbye text, ghosted her and blocked her.
And I grieved, because I wasted 2 years after someone I loved but that did not love me the same way...and I really wished she was different and this relationship could work.

Then a friend of mine sees her with another guy, 3 days after. 3 goddamn days. The guy she was with is part of her new friends group that she met a month ago.
So now I find myself wondering if during the last month I've been played, if the guy was already there and how did I not see it? Two weeks ago she rejected sex a couple of times, which is pretty uncommon. But the way she fu*ked me on the last day together clouded my perception of things. She definitely felt I was about to end it and she wanted to keep me on the leash with good sex.

I feel and I KNOW that I dodged a massive bullet, and I shouldn't be too sad since I was the dumper.
But then why do I feel so hurt? Why dp I want to call her and ask her to tell me the truth, to tell me if she played me (?).. To explain me how she could send me a 4 pages long apology for lying to me and then hang out with someone else 3 days after (?).

Hey just feel good that you dumped her. That's a lot better than the way most of us started off. You will likely encounter this situation again with a new girl....after it happens a few times it's like you level up and become immune to it. Then you gain a lot of power and stoic mystery to new women who you date. I haven't been on the losing side of a relationship in a long time because i never fear losing any woman and grow bored of them quickly now. Unfortunately, i am the one white lying. I am the one feeling bad about maybe hurting them. I am the one setting up a good breakup scenario or justifying it in my mind. There are bad things about this as well. Mainly guilt.

But long term this is a good thing for you. Very good. Trust the process Who cares if she is ****ing that guy? She will be old and fat before you. And she sounds like low quality trash....a social media *****. I don't even regard these type of chicks as real people anymore. Clowns with nice bodies to PND. You will be fine OP. You just need a new perspective.

 

[Dash Riprock]

like in the movie "boilerroom"

"Ok, can I have a quick show of hands to see who here has a MBA? Ok, Good. Now you, you, and you get the f*ck out!" Haha. Love that part.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"Ok, can I have a quick show of hands to see who here has a MBA? Ok, Good. Now you, you, and you get the f*ck out!" Haha. Love that part.

LOL, I gotta watch it again!