Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I don't really have a plan right now...

AAAgent

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You can leave now. Your solution is essentially "lul just werk", followed by a bunch of talk about how essentially I'm a massive failure, as is my dad, and how unfortunate for my mom (btw my brother isn't living at home, you seem to keep thinking that).

That's not useful, please go elsewhere.
I think they're both giving solid advice.

In your position, imo, if the advice isn't atleast a little harsh due to the reality of it, you're being sugarcoated and lied to. I came to this forum when i was 21 in a similar position. Graduated during the great recession, horrible grades, no applicable skills outside of being a former good athlete, math/english/science all complete garbage level knowledge.


First thing I did was acknowledge I fvcked up and am now in a sh1tty position all due to myself. If you can't acknowledge the problem and what caused it, you can't address the root issue and move forward. I acknowledged I made wrong choices believing girls, fighting, and being cool was the path to life, when in reality it was intelligence, studying, resourcefulness, and experience.

Seems like you don't have any of these things, so you will need to build them. I realized this early on and I did exactly what @Gamisch @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz suggested when i came to this forum.

I stop focusing on women and focused on myself. Instead of 2 years, i did it for 5 years. I worked 60 hours a week to level up myself at work. Initially, i wasn't the best but i worked the hardest. After my first 2 years, I became the best and the hardest working. I paid off my debt. I would try my own side hustle and fail. I lived paycheck to paycheck with $100 left at the end of the month after making my debt payments. Did that until year 3. I would then hire tutors to teach me on weekends to improve my english comprehension and math skills. Read hundreds of books. Some books 3,4,5 or even 7 times.

5 years in, my pay was slightly above that of my peers and debt fully paid off. I went from POS to being average I guess. 9 years in, I became a millionaire. 15 years later, I have a family, assets, no debt, high paying job, traveled the world, moved all over, and overall in a position in life where I can control the decisions I make comfortably.

I did not get there by complaining and refusing to face the music. If you don't have good counter arguments to what these guys are saying, they are likely right. You don't need to be happy about what they're saying but you should try to take-in what makes sense and start taking action. The more time you spend complaining about the situation, the more time you waste on achieving progress.

================================== <---- that's your progress bar. Start moving it forward.
 

kavi

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In a developed high effficiency economy like what we are headed to, it will be very hard for anyone to make it on their own, because you will be competing with highly efficient developed, mature organisations. There wont be any individual opportunities for self-employment or setting up businesses.

Im sure we are already seeing this but ppl havent fully come to this realization yet. There will be very few opportunities out there.

The ones making money will simply be those with connectiions, networks etc.

So in a way there really is no way or very few ways to make money being self-employed, hustling, starting a business etc, cos things are too efficient and developed for any normie to be able to improve things or be competitive on his own.

Your problem is that you dont understand this direction that things are headed in.

In the old days, you could buy some land and build housing, some restaurant or some other small business and scale up. But now, all that easy stuff is done, you will be competing against big companies who already did that 50 years ago and grew since then. You cannot make it.

This is why men are struggling so much.

Things are simply too developed these days in the West for the old system of 'work hard and pull yourself up' to make any sense.

There is notjing else for anyone to do other than to demand the government make things easier for everyione.

I think consumption levels will drop in the developed world, because ppl might just bored of the work hard play hard lifestyle, and all the toys the cars, holdiays, expensive food experiences, all the stuff ppl bought and consumed in the past ppl will get bored and consume less in the West, then there will be even fewer opportunities, maybe fewer jobs (I dunno) but surely Inflation and the old economic model and value system wont make sense, the people who beleive in the old way will be a problem for progress.

And for men it is important to elevate oneself and to gain knowledge skills and expertise, just working hard to build a mcdonalds or sell some crap to someone like expensive shoes or a ferrari to some old business man isnt anything to be proud of nor will elevate your knowledge so we need to ask the question what is our economy and values based on.
 

AAAgent

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In a developed high effficiency economy like what we are headed to, it will be very hard for anyone to make it on their own, because you will be competing with highly efficient developed, mature organisations. There wont be any individual opportunities for self-employment or setting up businesses.

Im sure we are already seeing this but ppl havent fully come to this realization yet. There will be very few opportunities out there.

The ones making money will simply be those with connectiions, networks etc.

So in a way there really is no way or very few ways to make money being self-employed, hustling, starting a business etc, cos things are too efficient and developed for any normie to be able to improve things or be competitive on his own.

Your problem is that you dont understand this direction that things are headed in.

In the old days, you could buy some land and build housing, some restaurant or some other small business and scale up. But now, all that easy stuff is done, you will be competing against big companies who already did that 50 years ago and grew since then. You cannot make it.

This is why men are struggling so much.

Things are simply too developed these days in the West for the old system of 'work hard and pull yourself up' to make any sense.

There is notjing else for anyone to do other than to demand the government make things easier for everyione.

I think consumption levels will drop in the developed world, because ppl might just bored of the work hard play hard lifestyle, and all the toys the cars, holdiays, expensive food experiences, all the stuff ppl bought and consumed in the past ppl will get bored and consume less in the West, then there will be even fewer opportunities, maybe fewer jobs (I dunno) but surely Inflation and the old economic model and value system wont make sense, the people who beleive in the old way will be a problem for progress.

And for men it is important to elevate oneself and to gain knowledge skills and expertise, just working hard to build a mcdonalds or sell some crap to someone like expensive shoes or a ferrari to some old business man isnt anything to be proud of nor will elevate your knowledge so we need to ask the question what is our economy and values based on.
This is because most of the people are being oppressed by our education system and being setup to fail. No one should be encouraging and promoting of pursuing careers in fields that don't make money and solve an immediate problem. Those fields should be highly risky and left to those in a position to do so.

Men are struggling because they've been brainwashed into becoming stupid, reliant, and having consequences removed from society. We end up thinking everything is free and easy.

If we actually pursued philosophy to better understand society, culture, and the world, we would understand how to be self reliant. Taught ourselves math, science, and learned skills, many of us would be in good shape. We still need plumbing, food, roofs over our head. Most people these days don't have any skills, don't even have basic level understandings of business, and therefore think things are out of their reach. I was in this exact position before, so I can relate and understand.

Consumption levels will drop, correct but they will always exist. The decreasing demand will strengthen the population so that we become stronger. Humans adapt when put in the right conditions. When we have bumper rails setup our entire lives, it's no wonder we're all scared to take risks or try to stand on our own two feet.

I think there will be more opportunities in the future as all the inefficiencies are weeded out and vacuums are created and creativity is allowed to thrive. If you are positioned well to act on it, you will do well. If you are not, you will suffer. But moving forward, many of the barriers setup to keep us complacent and stupid will be removed, allowing for the strong to really thrive.
 

Dr.Suave

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Either way, if anybody reads this and has any insight on what they think I should do, I'd love to hear it. I've done all these things because I hate working the job I have now under my prick of a boss, and I've worked in corporate environments as a mortgage lender and came to the conclusion that I'd want to find a way to become wealthy where I'm not at somebody's beck and call.
Whatever is the solution, it will probably take time. Is it possible to swtich to a different job (different boss) in the meantime?
 

pipeman84

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My advice would be to follow your passions, with no expectation of a particular outcome. As long as you're doing that, even if it requires 'hard work' (as seen from the outside), for you it will seem like a piece of cake.
But if you're working hard just for the money or the idea that in 5-10yrs you'll reach whatever monetary or career goal, even if that happens, it will be a frustratingly long journey that slowly kills your soul.
While I see immigrant working they a$$ off, with two jobs from Monday-Friday, and another one of 12 hours on Saturday,
To each their own man, for some people there's more to life than just work.
-ANY man older than 25 who lives at home is a man child. After 28..it becomes embarrassing..after 30? I'd write him off tbh.
Things are not that black and white. How about people who were sleeping on a friends couch or in a tiny room because they ploughed everything they had into the business they were working on. We hear about those who ended up successful, but what about the failures?
While living at home while you figure yourself out might be embarassing, how is working some dead end job you hate any more rewarding? The frustration and dissatisfaction with where you are will reverberate in all areas of life, including relationships with women.
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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My advice would be to follow your passions, with no expectation of a particular outcome. As long as you're doing that, even if it requires 'hard work' (as seen from the outside), for you it will seem like a piece of cake.
But if you're working hard just for the money or the idea that in 5-10yrs you'll reach whatever monetary or career goal, even if that happens, it will be a frustratingly long journey that slowly kills your soul.

To each their own man, for some people there's more to life than just work.

Things are not that black and white. How about people who were sleeping on a friends couch or in a tiny room because they ploughed everything they had into the business they were working on. We hear about those who ended up successful, but what about the failures?
While living at home while you figure yourself out might be embarassing, how is working some dead end job you hate any more rewarding? The frustration and dissatisfaction with where you are will reverberate in all areas of life, including relationships with women.
I assume you're not in a good financial situation either right?
 

BPH

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I did not get there by complaining and refusing to face the music. If you don't have good counter arguments to what these guys are saying, they are likely right. You don't need to be happy about what they're saying but you should try to take-in what makes sense and start taking action. The more time you spend complaining about the situation, the more time you waste on achieving progress.
That's the thing though, it's not an argument.

I'm not trying to justify my position or be coddled with "everything's going to be ok" or something - I know I f***ed up, of course, it's depressing referencing that post I made several years ago and being in the exact same position, there's no denying that. That's why I came asking what worked for the people who "made it" because I've been confident that what I was doing was correct several times, and I've been wrong several times.

Notice how Stoic gave me good advice that I thanked him for, and Gamisch comes in just to say that he's wasting his breath, that I'll never do it, betting against me, and stating that my mention of him living with multiple women and being a father by my age as if it was a good thing "exposes a lot about who I am" despite doing the exact same thing to me the moment I stated that I do well with women...

None of that is constructive or useful, no "tough love", it's just being an a**hole and twisting the knife that I came here asking for advice on how to remove.

I stop focusing on women and focused on myself. Instead of 2 years, i did it for 5 years. I worked 60 hours a week to level up myself at work. Initially, i wasn't the best but i worked the hardest. After my first 2 years, I became the best and the hardest working. I paid off my debt. I would try my own side hustle and fail. I lived paycheck to paycheck with $100 left at the end of the month after making my debt payments. Did that until year 3. I would then hire tutors to teach me on weekends to improve my english comprehension and math skills. Read hundreds of books. Some books 3,4,5 or even 7 times.

5 years in, my pay was slightly above that of my peers and debt fully paid off. I went from POS to being average I guess. 9 years in, I became a millionaire. 15 years later, I have a family, assets, no debt, high paying job, traveled the world, moved all over, and overall in a position in life where I can control the decisions I make comfortably.
This is useful, this is what I'm looking for. The only question I have is how did you decide what this thing is that you were going to be the best and hardest working at? How did you pick what you wanted to do and make it work? Are you still doing it today?

Whatever is the solution, it will probably take time. Is it possible to swtich to a different job (different boss) in the meantime?
Possibly. The whole reason I'm doing what I'm doing is because I wanted the part-time flexibility to go up to New York or DC to do the acting/modeling stuff when they came around. I'm good at my job, it's easy, and there's minimal supervision so as long as I get my work done nothing else really matters.

I've looked around on job boards and stuff like Indeed or LinkedIn. It's hard to separate the good opportunities from the "shiny" ones. Most things I see are Wal Mart or Amazon jobs, with a bunch of commission-based sales jobs that advertise "up to $(whatever amount)" as their pay structure.

I'll check some more.

My advice would be to follow your passions, with no expectation of a particular outcome. As long as you're doing that, even if it requires 'hard work' (as seen from the outside), for you it will seem like a piece of cake.
But if you're working hard just for the money or the idea that in 5-10yrs you'll reach whatever monetary or career goal, even if that happens, it will be a frustratingly long journey that slowly kills your soul.
This is why I keep coming back to the idea of personal training, streaming, or stock market. The last of which I have the least faith in, but it has the fewest number of factors outside of my control. Training and streaming my concern would just be how long it would take to build something before I would be able to see returns from it...and that's probably the wrong mindset, but that's also why I probably need to just do something now and work on stuff like that on the side to see if it COULD be worth investing real time and effort into.

I liked Stoic's advice when it came to this. Another thing is it's hard to pick what I want to do because I don't REALLY care what that thing is if I can make money that would satisfy me by doing it...I don't think I have to like the job, so long as I like the freedom it affords me.
 

FlirtLife

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This is why I keep coming back to the idea of personal training, streaming, or stock market. The last of which I have the least faith in, but it has the fewest number of factors outside of my control.
Investing needs a foundation, and I argue for passive index funds (S&P 500, total stock market) as the start of that foundation.

But if you're broke, you first need an emergency fund - you need savings. You know what grows much faster than the stock market? Credit card debt. Having savings means you can spend money to fix something, and avoid credit card debt.
 

alicentjenner

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I am feeling a bit low today because I feel like a failure, I never planned my goals in life, please suggest me something what can I do!
 

BoomToTheMoonAlice

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CDL $5000
Forklift License $200
Heavy Equipment Operator $5000
Working From Heights $50

If you're broke just do the forklift and working from heights certs.

----------------------------------------------- (This qualifies you to work in most heavy industry jobs)-------------------------
Get a TEFL $250

After you've accumulated 10 to 20k in the bank, go enroll in a university abroad in Thailand or Germany doing some STEM related stuff and tutor while you study. Easy money and chicks. If you like working with computer games, get a degree in (not computer science) general studies and then fill your courses with whatever you want from around the USA/Canada/UK. Take 5 programming languages, some web design, math, robotics... whatever and a bunch of PSYC stuff. Then you can work as a video game tester for some major companies while you're enrolled in school. They are more likely to hire someone who has some letters after his name, than some kid off the street who thinks he's good at gaming. Besides if you want to work internationally you'll need some sort of university credential. A very good friend of mine went from teaching at a Kindergarten to working as a game tester at NetEase. He was in the right place at the right time. You've got to position yourself to take advantage of opportunities that come up.

If you have both blue and white collar education, you have the best of both worlds, a degree and blue collar tickets to fall back on. It'll be near impossible to be unemployed. You should look at education as a gateway to adventure. I always take tickets when I'm at home just to have the experience and competence of being professionally trained on industrial equipment and medical expertise, it also gives me something to talk about with blue collar guys.... also if my job area ever dries up, I've got 20 things to fall back on. This is the plan I did as a kid in my twenties after I decided being in law enforcement was a thankless bullsh1t job. Keep getting educated dude, the more education you have, the more versatile you are.

You don't have to stay in one job forever, work in it until you get bored and then do something else.

Alternatively, you could just work in industry for a year, take 3 jobs, save up all your cash and go down to South America or Asia and chill out for a year or two or buy a little house in a country you enjoy chilling in. Japan has houses for as low as 5k USD at the moment. Get a cheap place to stay and take some courses from Zenva or some online college program. It's really easy to launch yourself into a good position if you put your nose to the grind for a year or two.

Andrew Tate made most of his fortune by lying to porn addicted men, that's why people want him dead now. He's not exactly a paragon of good business practice and certainly not any kind of example to follow. Eventually the matrix WILL get him, he has too many enemies. Its way better to ghost the system. If I were a young person again, I would go study here for 6 months, what a kickass trip that would be.


6 months is 4000 USD, super cheap for the adventure of a lifetime.
 
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FlirtLife

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Yeah, that's something I've been considering...thing is I get my work done well within the 20 hours I spend there each week, so I'm not sure whether he would even give me those hours if I asked for them, because I don't know what more I could realistically do.

Another consideration is just doing what he does, better, but with the way medical marijuana is becoming legalized and more readily available, I think it's on a downtrend and he's looking to pivot into a different venture. But you're right, that's definitely an option.
If you can't add 20 hours there, could you work 20 hours at a second job, doing similar work?

I'm assuming there are other dispenseries in commuting distance. You could ask other dispensery managers if they need your help. Be sure to mention you're already doing this work now at another dispensery, where they need 20 hours but not 40 hours. Someone who already does this work will be a stronger candidate than someone who doesn't.
 

BPH

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If you can't add 20 hours there, could you work 20 hours at a second job, doing similar work?

I'm assuming there are other dispenseries in commuting distance. You could ask other dispensery managers if they need your help. Be sure to mention you're already doing this work now at another dispensery, where they need 20 hours but not 40 hours. Someone who already does this work will be a stronger candidate than someone who doesn't.
Just for the sake of clarification, I don't work at a dispensary but rather with a doctor who certifies patients via Telehealth so they can get the card from the state to take to the dispensaries and get whatever product they need for whatever their ailment is.

That said, I've started working full-time under him while I use my free time to work on something that I plan to focus on fully whenever it overtakes the income from this , which would be $46k/year at my current rate.
 
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