"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I dont know what to do anymore...please help me

DustinPotter

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So there was a girl who added me on facebook and it turns out we go to the same taekwondo place. so then she starts messaging with me and everything. she was the 1st girl to tell me "ily" and add a "<3" and she was also the 1st girl to give me a valentines day gift. i really like(d) her and im jes not sure if i do anymore. she keeps on avoiding me now. its not really possible for me to meet up with her. we go to different schools and we hardly ever see each other at tkd and when we do, its between classes and we never get the chance to talk. i've really been going crazy lately due to all the mixed signals im recieving. she says she wants to do somethin together later but she never talks or anything. our conversations were mostly through AIM or facebook. we had a real conversation only once and that was when we were giving each other v-day gifts. But now she clearly told me she doesnt want to talk...I feel like im going to move on. Normally i change who i like very often. and all my friends tell me not to do that becuz it kinda hurts the girls feelings. i take things pretty seriously and i overthink things a LOT. yeah i overthink things waaaaay to much. usually when a girl acted shy around me i'd so "f*** it" and move onto another girl becuz i thot she didn't like me back. so i've really kinda pushed myself into continuing to like her after a few "shy" incidents. my feelings for her have been really up and down. its either: "I like her" "I dont like her" "I question whether i like her" "I miss her" ETC....one day i went so insane i got a pretty bad headache and i started to get sick. she sends me so many different signals..and its really hard for me to carry on with this. I really dont know what to do anymore. can anyone help me?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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hover411

Don Juan
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just ask her out, straight up. either online or in person.

if she is interested, great, if not, move on.
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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If you don't know what to do...you have two choices, do nothing (walk away, move on) or go for what you want full on and be willing to lose it all. Either is better than indecision hell.

I say stop all the computer talk, get her alone in person, go do something fun and see where it goes. You are taking forever to make a real move here. If a girl is acting shy but still talking to you she's interested. It just means you ahve to be a man and make the first move. Stop waiting for a sign..she's there...with you...that's all the proof you need. Good luck.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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stayfly

Senior Don Juan
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Oct 30, 2006
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it sounds like your crap with women bro

are you crap at communication in general or just with women?

is the rest of your life normal or is it screwed as well?

I think there may be some deeper issues going on
 
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