PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Iqqi - where are you?
Why have you forsaken me?
Why have you forsaken me?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I don't have a date tonight, does a girl on sosuave want to have a cyber-date with me
- Thread starter PuertoRican_Lover
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Canadianpimpology
Senior Don Juan
You guys believe this prank?
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
an astute observation - manoman - an astute observation!
Should we give iqqi bad counsel which would lead her to her own demise and rid her from playing with the souls of men once and for all?
MysteryWoman
Master Don Juan
I'm not the slightest bit suprised!
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
I fear that iqqi has abandoned me for good - I am at the end of my rope and have abandoned all hope (hey that rhymes). Will there be another female on sosuave that will take her stead and save me from my lonely existence? I supplicate to those females who may find it in their heart to share their femininity and fulfill their divine obligation and womanly duty to keep company with their male half and complete me as a whole being, as God intended us to be!
You don't have to marry me - just keep me company for a season.
I know this sounds KFC - I mean AFC (I'm hungry for some chicken, as well as loving) - but eliminating my loneliness supersedes all other demands and my thirst for female companionship must be quenched soon, for I fear my sanity will escape me - if not already relinquished!
Are there no takers?
My words ring hollow, if there is not a woman to hear them, and my heart is void without the presence of its' life blood which keeps it alive and gives it its' purpose. Oh women, do you not understand - do you not know your importance to our hearts - you are the sustaining fluid that keeps us men from deteriorating and turning into dust! Are we better for you in the form of dust?
Do you not want a breathing life form to kiss your lips and gently caress your body? The breath of our life gives you life, but this breath cannot exist without the fluid (women) that sustains our hearts and thus our existence, and in turn, your fulfillment for living. Can you imagine a world without men to build you homes to protect you from the elements, and build you bridges to make your path through life more accessible and reaching?
I feel my sanity is is on the cusp and will not return to its full vigor unless there is a savior to give me hope.
I beg thee - give me life, women give me of yourself!
You don't have to marry me - just keep me company for a season.
I know this sounds KFC - I mean AFC (I'm hungry for some chicken, as well as loving) - but eliminating my loneliness supersedes all other demands and my thirst for female companionship must be quenched soon, for I fear my sanity will escape me - if not already relinquished!
Are there no takers?
My words ring hollow, if there is not a woman to hear them, and my heart is void without the presence of its' life blood which keeps it alive and gives it its' purpose. Oh women, do you not understand - do you not know your importance to our hearts - you are the sustaining fluid that keeps us men from deteriorating and turning into dust! Are we better for you in the form of dust?
Do you not want a breathing life form to kiss your lips and gently caress your body? The breath of our life gives you life, but this breath cannot exist without the fluid (women) that sustains our hearts and thus our existence, and in turn, your fulfillment for living. Can you imagine a world without men to build you homes to protect you from the elements, and build you bridges to make your path through life more accessible and reaching?
I feel my sanity is is on the cusp and will not return to its full vigor unless there is a savior to give me hope.
I beg thee - give me life, women give me of yourself!
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Oh mystery woman, of all nights to do battle must you take advantage of my weakened state and put an end to my existence by your callous words and harsh tongue?
Do you have no pity for your fellow man - have you no encouraging words to uplift my spirits? Can we be as one tonight and be as God has fashioned us from the beginning before the corruption of time and the influences of hate.
Can we light a candle in peace and unite and both become stronger through compromise?
Are we not stronger as one and are we not weaker dvided?
I have many enemies amongst men - must you add to my misery and deny me of your feminine compassion and comforting nature?
Do you have a such a disdain for your life that you have no interest in saving another's?
I ask that you sacrifice yourself today and give me that part of you which you have given to those who you most care about, that part that is hidden deep in the crevices of your heart longing to be shared with one of the male persuasion.
I am here to receive your gift, but only if you give it to me freely and withot reservation.
I am a patient man and have waited all my life for such a gift - it willl not be a burden upon my soul to wait a few hours longer.
Do you have no pity for your fellow man - have you no encouraging words to uplift my spirits? Can we be as one tonight and be as God has fashioned us from the beginning before the corruption of time and the influences of hate.
Can we light a candle in peace and unite and both become stronger through compromise?
Are we not stronger as one and are we not weaker dvided?
I have many enemies amongst men - must you add to my misery and deny me of your feminine compassion and comforting nature?
Do you have a such a disdain for your life that you have no interest in saving another's?
I ask that you sacrifice yourself today and give me that part of you which you have given to those who you most care about, that part that is hidden deep in the crevices of your heart longing to be shared with one of the male persuasion.
I am here to receive your gift, but only if you give it to me freely and withot reservation.
I am a patient man and have waited all my life for such a gift - it willl not be a burden upon my soul to wait a few hours longer.
Are you really suprised, PuertoRicanLover, that even your "light-hearted" offer of an internet date has been rejected?
Is iqqi not a "ho"? Is she not a "walking sperm bank"?
How about MysteryWoman? Well, you hypocritical b*stard?
You deserve to be lonely.
And you then turn round and ask for a date?! Because you are lonely?!?
Is iqqi not a "ho"? Is she not a "walking sperm bank"?
How about MysteryWoman? Well, you hypocritical b*stard?
You deserve to be lonely.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
AMF - I will not let you destroy my romantic mood - the words of men seem not to bother me today for some reason - my heart is is in a blissful state. Only the piercing words from a delicate flower will I let penetrate my heart, everything else is madness.
Can you blame me for the strong harsh words that come forth from heart to my mind into my mouth and then to my hands to be expressed and delivered to you?
With no female companion a man is desolate and empty - the masculine traits that make a man a man must be counter-balanced by the traits that his female half possesses, to deny him otherwise makes him incomplete and thus his manly characteristics are skewed and agressiive behavior without compassion is the result and anger and strife are the inevitable outcomes.
If only a female companion would comfort and nurture me, I am sure I would be a more gentler being.
Since I parted from my mother, this force of love has been lacking in my life and has yet to be replaced by one that is worthy of my affection and endearing care.
This thread started out as a proposition for affection and it has now turned into a confessional...to an audience who is deaf to my cries for understanding and my pleas for assistance.
I have hope that the females on sosuave will see my plight and have empathy and come to understand why I speak the truth so harshly - it is not for their punishment nor pain but for their spiritual development as women and as human beings.
Love is not a physical thing it is a spiritual force and women should guard this gift with the utmost care and not with reckless abandon. Women souls are destroyed if the love they give is not reciprocated by the recipient and therefore every time they give freely of their flesh without a justifiable demand they wither in time and become rotten fruit - pleasant to no one and destructive to themselves.
Men are not the delicate creatures that their mates are and will do devious things to pick the fruit from the tree before its' ripe and thus spoil the fruit and his appetite as well and he will only taste its' bitterness and not the sweetness that the fruit bears in its' full glory. Where are the caretakers of the garden? They seem to have fallen asleep and have left the fields to plunder. I have taken the gardeners place so it is my duty to guard its' contents and to ensure that the tree bears good fruit.
Can you blame me for the strong harsh words that come forth from heart to my mind into my mouth and then to my hands to be expressed and delivered to you?
With no female companion a man is desolate and empty - the masculine traits that make a man a man must be counter-balanced by the traits that his female half possesses, to deny him otherwise makes him incomplete and thus his manly characteristics are skewed and agressiive behavior without compassion is the result and anger and strife are the inevitable outcomes.
If only a female companion would comfort and nurture me, I am sure I would be a more gentler being.
Since I parted from my mother, this force of love has been lacking in my life and has yet to be replaced by one that is worthy of my affection and endearing care.
This thread started out as a proposition for affection and it has now turned into a confessional...to an audience who is deaf to my cries for understanding and my pleas for assistance.
I have hope that the females on sosuave will see my plight and have empathy and come to understand why I speak the truth so harshly - it is not for their punishment nor pain but for their spiritual development as women and as human beings.
Love is not a physical thing it is a spiritual force and women should guard this gift with the utmost care and not with reckless abandon. Women souls are destroyed if the love they give is not reciprocated by the recipient and therefore every time they give freely of their flesh without a justifiable demand they wither in time and become rotten fruit - pleasant to no one and destructive to themselves.
Men are not the delicate creatures that their mates are and will do devious things to pick the fruit from the tree before its' ripe and thus spoil the fruit and his appetite as well and he will only taste its' bitterness and not the sweetness that the fruit bears in its' full glory. Where are the caretakers of the garden? They seem to have fallen asleep and have left the fields to plunder. I have taken the gardeners place so it is my duty to guard its' contents and to ensure that the tree bears good fruit.
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"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
barbarianthemadserb
Don Juan
hahhahahaha. Hey PRL, you are a friggin riot again. hahahahahahahahahaha. Fell off my seat reading this stuff you posted. hahhahaahahahahahh
M
M
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
I declare January 11, 2004 to be “The day of the woman”!
As you probably guessed, I didn’t sleep very well. I was as restless as a virgin in a room full of Don Juan newbies who just read the DJ Bible and were eager to put their knowledge to the test – throwing words around in their minds such as ‘kino’, ‘C&F’, ‘next’, and ‘kiss close’.
I have the feeling the women on sosuave are ignoring my pleas for affection, just to spite me and trying to embarrass me in front of my fellow DJ’s. But we are all human and us men did not ask for this burden to be put upon us. Our nature was made to pursue and conquer our precious prey, and in the process we may stumble and fall but we, in the end, will always prevail – this is our fate that we readily accept and are not ashamed to admit.
I am not giving up, I am not going away, I am steadfast in my quest, and I will not sleep until my mission for female companionship is complete! I shall die for lack of rest or I shall die for lack of female companionship, the latter is an excruciating, slow, degrading death of loneliness and I fear that I cannot endure the lingering severity of this misfortune. My sensitive heart will surely fail me and leave me as a frail frame of bones and flesh, without its’ flowing fluids that sustains me.
Women, have I been that crass and so unpleasant in my words that you will deny me my life?
What a high price to pay for mere words expressed! My words are true and my actions are honorable – why must I pay the ultimate sacrifice for expressing the reality of the things that are? Are we to now blame the messenger for all actions taken by others and for all truths spoken? Where is your sense of justice? Is not justice blind – would you find me guilty without the benefit of due process under the DJ law? Give me a fair trial and let me be judged by my peers before you execute my weakened and failing heart!
Will not one soul save me from this doom?
As you probably guessed, I didn’t sleep very well. I was as restless as a virgin in a room full of Don Juan newbies who just read the DJ Bible and were eager to put their knowledge to the test – throwing words around in their minds such as ‘kino’, ‘C&F’, ‘next’, and ‘kiss close’.
I have the feeling the women on sosuave are ignoring my pleas for affection, just to spite me and trying to embarrass me in front of my fellow DJ’s. But we are all human and us men did not ask for this burden to be put upon us. Our nature was made to pursue and conquer our precious prey, and in the process we may stumble and fall but we, in the end, will always prevail – this is our fate that we readily accept and are not ashamed to admit.
I am not giving up, I am not going away, I am steadfast in my quest, and I will not sleep until my mission for female companionship is complete! I shall die for lack of rest or I shall die for lack of female companionship, the latter is an excruciating, slow, degrading death of loneliness and I fear that I cannot endure the lingering severity of this misfortune. My sensitive heart will surely fail me and leave me as a frail frame of bones and flesh, without its’ flowing fluids that sustains me.
Women, have I been that crass and so unpleasant in my words that you will deny me my life?
What a high price to pay for mere words expressed! My words are true and my actions are honorable – why must I pay the ultimate sacrifice for expressing the reality of the things that are? Are we to now blame the messenger for all actions taken by others and for all truths spoken? Where is your sense of justice? Is not justice blind – would you find me guilty without the benefit of due process under the DJ law? Give me a fair trial and let me be judged by my peers before you execute my weakened and failing heart!
Will not one soul save me from this doom?
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
As you can imagine - I am close to the suicidal stage at this point
After all my poetic prayers and utterances, I receive no encouraging replies from my suitors, nor any uplifting words from my fellow DJ'S, to be strong and fight the good fight. I am in a depressed state (Wisconsin, USA) - all kidding aside, the state I am referring to is my emotional state. My mind started to go first and I thought I was at the brink of insanity and now my heart is heavy with sadness and I cannot carry this burden alone. There is only but one thing that would give me my strength back to live another day and that is the love a woman - even if this entails cyber-love.
I shall do away with myself before the stroke of midnight and I shall not see the sun again unless a savior relieves me of my plight!
I have but two hours left….sssssaavvvvvee mmeeeee ppppplleaasseee! Sorry for typing that petition for help so long but my lips were quivering.
After all my poetic prayers and utterances, I receive no encouraging replies from my suitors, nor any uplifting words from my fellow DJ'S, to be strong and fight the good fight. I am in a depressed state (Wisconsin, USA) - all kidding aside, the state I am referring to is my emotional state. My mind started to go first and I thought I was at the brink of insanity and now my heart is heavy with sadness and I cannot carry this burden alone. There is only but one thing that would give me my strength back to live another day and that is the love a woman - even if this entails cyber-love.
I shall do away with myself before the stroke of midnight and I shall not see the sun again unless a savior relieves me of my plight!
I have but two hours left….sssssaavvvvvee mmeeeee ppppplleaasseee! Sorry for typing that petition for help so long but my lips were quivering.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
Does anybody know how to make a hangman's noose? I didn't think it was this hard to do!
Time is of the essence - I have one hour left!
Time is of the essence - I have one hour left!
jbbrain
Master Don Juan
The thought of how long he put into keeping this thread afloat is making me nauseous.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
An Execution Of A Don Juan!
Jbbrain – I ask for a hand, and you give me your hand with the rope in it to hang myself! My blood is on your hands!
Based on your prior posts and threads, I am not surprised by your cold and inept thoughts. What may take you a whole day to think through, takes me mere minutes.
I know you don’t’ like those who have intellectual prowess, as you have stated in your ramblings in your current thread relating to your intelligent so-called girlfriend. She will depart from you soon, if she is as intelligent as you claim, and you my fellow DJ, will be in my current sunken predictament...I pray you do not end up with the same fatalistic outcome as my soul will now endure for an eternity.
My fellow Don Juans, may God have mercy on your souls!
For give them God, for they know not what they do!
I shall change the name of this thread to – “An execution of a Don Juan”.
On to my mission!
Jbbrain – I ask for a hand, and you give me your hand with the rope in it to hang myself! My blood is on your hands!
Based on your prior posts and threads, I am not surprised by your cold and inept thoughts. What may take you a whole day to think through, takes me mere minutes.
I know you don’t’ like those who have intellectual prowess, as you have stated in your ramblings in your current thread relating to your intelligent so-called girlfriend. She will depart from you soon, if she is as intelligent as you claim, and you my fellow DJ, will be in my current sunken predictament...I pray you do not end up with the same fatalistic outcome as my soul will now endure for an eternity.
My fellow Don Juans, may God have mercy on your souls!
For give them God, for they know not what they do!
I shall change the name of this thread to – “An execution of a Don Juan”.
On to my mission!
- Status