Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,196
- Reaction score
- 204
Hey guys, Harry here:
I just wanted to post up a mini-post up because... well, I haven't posted in a while! I've been so busy doing dating coaching (which you can find out more about at the link in my signature) and creating an online course for getting a girlfriend, that I haven't had time to type up these sorts of things.
The interesting thing about doing coaching, though, is that I come across a lot of guys - nice guys, mind you - who are just trying to figure out where they're going wrong with women. In the process, I've come to realize something: one of the main things holding guys back is this wanting to know why they need to change the way they're doing things, and why a particular method doesn't work on women as well as whatever it is I'm suggesting they do.
Sometimes, I'm able to explain to a guy why doing a certain method works. For example: I tell guys all the time to wait 4 days between dates to call a woman. When they ask why, I'm able to give them a detailed explanation about showing patience, allowing her interest in you to grow, etc.
However, there are also things I tell them that don't really have the greatest rhyme or reason to them, and when they ask me why a certain thing is, the only thing I can tell them is: "I don't care about WHY it works, I just care that it works."
For example: you might ask a long-time girl friend of yours out on a date. This might be a friend that told you in the past that she only dates certain kinds of guys, or that she never goes on dates with guy friends, or that said she only sees you like a brother, etc... and yet, when you ask her out, she actually gives you a "yes." At that point, you might be racking your brain trying to figure out why and not be able to come up with an answer.
And my response would be: "Who cares about WHY she said yes - just be happy you got the yes!"
Another example: You might be dating a girl who, on the first date, said she ALWAYS makes guys wait until the 5th date to have sex with them. So, you do what I instruct you to do, which is to tell her that doesn't bother you, and that you're actually cool with waiting. Lo and behold: on date #2, she's practically THROWING herself at you! And you're laying in her bed post-coitus thinking to yourself, "Wow - why the heck did THAT work so well??"
And again, my answer would be... who cares about the WHY - just be happy it worked and you got the lay!
The bottom line is this: as you learn about new concepts and things that ACTUALLY work on women, you are going to come across some things that you may not understand at first. You might hear about a concept like "no contact" and wonder how NOT talking to a woman is supposed to get her interested, or why you should make first dates less than an hour, and not quite get why you should be doing that vs. whatever you've been doing. And many of these things have explanations to them...
...but, even if you don't know the full details of why what you're being asked to do will work better, rather than waiting for a full explanation, simply take a survey of other people that have done that thing and see what their results were. If an over-whelming number of people have had a certain technique work to their advantage, do it; see what results you get; and THEN see if you can figure out the reasoning behind that technique working for you.
Anyway... hope this helps!
I just wanted to post up a mini-post up because... well, I haven't posted in a while! I've been so busy doing dating coaching (which you can find out more about at the link in my signature) and creating an online course for getting a girlfriend, that I haven't had time to type up these sorts of things.
The interesting thing about doing coaching, though, is that I come across a lot of guys - nice guys, mind you - who are just trying to figure out where they're going wrong with women. In the process, I've come to realize something: one of the main things holding guys back is this wanting to know why they need to change the way they're doing things, and why a particular method doesn't work on women as well as whatever it is I'm suggesting they do.
Sometimes, I'm able to explain to a guy why doing a certain method works. For example: I tell guys all the time to wait 4 days between dates to call a woman. When they ask why, I'm able to give them a detailed explanation about showing patience, allowing her interest in you to grow, etc.
However, there are also things I tell them that don't really have the greatest rhyme or reason to them, and when they ask me why a certain thing is, the only thing I can tell them is: "I don't care about WHY it works, I just care that it works."
For example: you might ask a long-time girl friend of yours out on a date. This might be a friend that told you in the past that she only dates certain kinds of guys, or that she never goes on dates with guy friends, or that said she only sees you like a brother, etc... and yet, when you ask her out, she actually gives you a "yes." At that point, you might be racking your brain trying to figure out why and not be able to come up with an answer.
And my response would be: "Who cares about WHY she said yes - just be happy you got the yes!"
Another example: You might be dating a girl who, on the first date, said she ALWAYS makes guys wait until the 5th date to have sex with them. So, you do what I instruct you to do, which is to tell her that doesn't bother you, and that you're actually cool with waiting. Lo and behold: on date #2, she's practically THROWING herself at you! And you're laying in her bed post-coitus thinking to yourself, "Wow - why the heck did THAT work so well??"
And again, my answer would be... who cares about the WHY - just be happy it worked and you got the lay!
The bottom line is this: as you learn about new concepts and things that ACTUALLY work on women, you are going to come across some things that you may not understand at first. You might hear about a concept like "no contact" and wonder how NOT talking to a woman is supposed to get her interested, or why you should make first dates less than an hour, and not quite get why you should be doing that vs. whatever you've been doing. And many of these things have explanations to them...
...but, even if you don't know the full details of why what you're being asked to do will work better, rather than waiting for a full explanation, simply take a survey of other people that have done that thing and see what their results were. If an over-whelming number of people have had a certain technique work to their advantage, do it; see what results you get; and THEN see if you can figure out the reasoning behind that technique working for you.
Anyway... hope this helps!
