I did Mistake #5 in the 10 top mistakes! What do I do now???

[Igetit!]

I predict pain, sadness, and confusion in op's future

I agree with 2 out of three of these. Pain and sadness in the future. Confusion right now in the present.

 

[snowdog]

I got THE perfect song to describe her, too:

Listen to Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson.

She'll probably use this song to describe you.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

Why is anyone taking the OP seriously? its a troll... no one is that clueless.

 

[eaglez1177]

Wow this is so AFC that I actually laughed at my computer screen.

 

[Cabal]

Honest opinion?

Love letters are euologies, the pithy comeback of a doomed venture.

I'll never forget a guy I know who gave a girl a letter he hadn't even kissed (meeting a girl is not a big deal, nor getting a number, I'm guessing you're very new).

This letter ended with the most spastic thing possibly in history. Maybe outranks whatever you wrote.

"I love you, Sarah. Let's fight for something that matters. You. Me. Us."

This man spends all his time in a bath with red wine listening to epic love songs and imagines his star crossed, highly charged love life between watching Serendipity and anything else with John Cusak.

Don't be this man.

 

[Randallpink83]

dude...

this....


and also, TROLL.

 

[CoolGuy64]

No because there were a bunch of KBJs telling him how badly he would fail if he tried it.

Exactly my point.

OP, she went for your confidence and seeming certainty, dont blow it by suddenly being available all the time, but this girl might like romance so do what you want, just don't get too caught up man, **** happens.

Well here's my take on it. **** happens because you SAY it happens. Your thoughts and actions create your reality. This is precisely why I'm NOT focused on "what is" but what I INTEND them to be. I'm always looking inside myself to find out what I need to improve on so I can make a decision based on that. If I'm too tense or too anxious, I stay away from her until I'm relaxed and confident enough to talk to her in a way that'll bring her energy and attraction up a level. Cause when I'm with her, I'm SO energetic and crazy happy. And that's on an UNconscious level, too. She doesn't even have to say anything for me to feel it and vice versa. It's unconscious.

And the truth of the matter is I'm NOT available all the time. I'm putting together a recording studio right now and the amount of work involved with the quotes and the equipment I need is overwhelming. This is what I'm gonna be doing for the rest of my life and I'm putting everything I have to make this happen right now. Afterwards, I'm gonna be in the studio working and making an income not only for myself but for her, too if/when it gets to that point. So I have a life, too and as much as I love her, I'm not gonna do anything that's against what I believe in for her sake. I need to take care of myself, too. I have my beliefs and I'm sticking to them. If she tries to distract me from them, I will defend myself. Period.

And if it doesnt and you get married then grats, but dont go in wanting to make this your girl forever, go in hoping for the best, ready for the worst, but impartial to either or and live in the moment. I don't suggest the continued showering of gifts on her as she already knows how you feel and you need to give her time to reciprocate and learn to appreciate you, but again do what you please, just please man, don't get too caught up.

First off, again, prepare for the worst and you will actually GET the worst! Prepare for the best and you will GET that as well! Either way, your right because it's your thoughts and actions that lead to results.

Secondly when I'm with her, I'm ALWAYS in the moment. Period. The SECEND I drift away from that, even for 30 seconds, she'll sense that. So, this is the ONE thing I'm super meticulous about.

I'm not giving her ANY gifts until we get to a point where we're BOTH confident enough to take it to the next level. That next week or it could be in 6 months. I don't care. I'm focused on being in the moment with her. So when she's ready to reciprocate those feelings, and she actually opens up to me and how she feels about me, that's when I'll know its time to get her something really special. Whether it's writing her a song, or getting her a Swarovsky crystal or something from Tiffany's Jewelers, like a ring or even a stuffed animal of some sort. I don't know, but when the time is right and when SHE reciprocates her feeling to me, that will be the time to decide on a gift to represent our relationship and how great its been.

Make sense?

Sina

 

[Igetit!]

Well here's my take on it. **** happens because you SAY it happens. Your thoughts and actions create your reality. This is precisely why I'm NOT focused on "what is" but what I INTEND them to be.

Hmm. I think I misjudged you dude. This is actually true. Basically it's just frame control. It's just that the impression I originally got from you was this pie in the sky,Hollywood love story,pollyana naive view of dating. Going by your reaction to her saying yes to you when you asked her out,it seemed like this was the first time you ever had a date with a girl.

If I'm too tense or too anxious, I stay away from her until I'm relaxed and confident enough to talk to her in a way that'll bring her energy and attraction up a level.

A+ here man. If you're tense and nervous in the presense of a woman,you hang around her long enough,then she'll start to feel tense and nervous too. If you can't give her anything positive,then just COMPLETELY get out of her presense until you can.
THIS.....I like.

And the truth of the matter is I'm NOT available all the time.

Good as well.

So I have a life, too and as much as I love her, I'm not gonna do anything that's against what I believe in for her sake. I need to take care of myself, too. I have my beliefs and I'm sticking to them. If she tries to distract me from them, I will defend myself. Period.

This is good as well,however,what's the deal with this,"as much as I love her" statement? She just accepted a date with you not even two weeks ago,and ALREADY you're talking about love?

Now do you see why you've been getting the responses you've been getting?

First off, again, prepare for the worst and you will actually GET the worst! Prepare for the best and you will GET that as well! Either way, your right because it's your thoughts and actions that lead to results.

Secondly when I'm with her, I'm ALWAYS in the moment. Period. The SECEND I drift away from that, even for 30 seconds, she'll sense that. So, this is the ONE thing I'm super meticulous about.

Good advice here. Obviously you've learned some things about women and how to carry yourself around them. It's just that this didn't come across in your first few posts.

I'm focused on being in the moment with her. So when she's ready to reciprocate those feelings, and she actually opens up to me and how she feels about me, that's when I'll know its time to get her something really special.

Focusing on being in the moment....Good.
As far as her reciprocating "those" feelings? In order for her to reciprocate ANYTHING from you,you'd have to give it to her first. Hopefully you already know this,but if you reveal your feelings to her FIRST,you'll probably turn her off. And as far as getting her something special if and when she does reciprocate those feelings,I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with you on this one.
I'm not telling you not to do this,I'm just saying that don't agree with you.

Whether it's writing her a song, or getting her a Swarovsky crystal or something from Tiffany's Jewelers, like a ring or even a stuffed animal of some sort. I don't know, but when the time is right and when SHE reciprocates her feeling to me, that will be the time to decide on a gift to represent our relationship and how great its been.

Nope,I wouldn't buy her a thing. I don't care if she does "reciprocate" my feelings towards her. If she buy me something FIRST,ok. If we've been dating for a while,and are in a relationship,and it's her birthday,then ok.
Christmas? Ok.
Valentine's Day? Ok.
Anniversary? Fine.

But imo,if you just start buying her things out of the blue....even if it's AFTER she's reciprocated your feelings,she probably start to misinterpet it as you trying to "buy her",which leads to insecurity/putting her on a pedistal/you know the rest.

Just my opinion.

 

[Kevin Feng]

Woah woah, hold your horses buddy, no need to rush into a relationship quite yet.

You said you just met this girl and at this point you should NOT be considering a relationship.

At this point right now, you should be focused on seducing her. I'm not saying that you should just want her for sex, but you really need to convey to her that your NOT JUST FRIENDS, you don't want to end up in the friends zone, that it the worst place to be hands down.

Work on seducing her.

Here's some good day 2 ideas courtesy of Asian Playboy.

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/03/eight-key-concepts-for-successful-date.html

Hope this helps, PM me if you have any questions!

-Kevin

 

[CoolGuy64]

Hmm. I think I misjudged you dude. This is actually true. Basically it's just frame control. It's just that the impression I originally got from you was this pie in the sky,Hollywood love story,pollyana naive view of dating. Going by your reaction to her saying yes to you when you asked her out,it seemed like this was the first time you ever had a date with a girl.

A+ here man. If you're tense and nervous in the presense of a woman,you hang around her long enough,then she'll start to feel tense and nervous too. If you can't give her anything positive,then just COMPLETELY get out of her presense until you can.
THIS.....I like.

Good as well.

This is good as well,however,what's the deal with this,"as much as I love her" statement? She just accepted a date with you not even two weeks ago,and ALREADY you're talking about love?

Now do you see why you've been getting the responses you've been getting?

Good advice here. Obviously you've learned some things about women and how to carry yourself around them. It's just that this didn't come across in your first few posts.

Focusing on being in the moment....Good.
As far as her reciprocating "those" feelings? In order for her to reciprocate ANYTHING from you,you'd have to give it to her first. Hopefully you already know this,but if you reveal your feelings to her FIRST,you'll probably turn her off. And as far as getting her something special if and when she does reciprocate those feelings,I COMPLETELY DISAGREE with you on this one.
I'm not telling you not to do this,I'm just saying that don't agree with you.


Nope,I wouldn't buy her a thing. I don't care if she does "reciprocate" my feelings towards her. If she buy me something FIRST,ok. If we've been dating for a while,and are in a relationship,and it's her birthday,then ok.
Christmas? Ok.
Valentine's Day? Ok.
Anniversary? Fine.

But imo,if you just start buying her things out of the blue....even if it's AFTER she's reciprocated your feelings,she probably start to misinterpet it as you trying to "buy her",which leads to insecurity/putting her on a pedistal/you know the rest.

Just my opinion.

Damn man! Thank you for that advice! You just gave me a whole new perspective on gifts and the whole reciprocation of feelings.

The reason why I said I loved her was because when I met her, it literally was a love at first sight moment and I was just so energetic and so happy to the point where I was all dizzy, light headed and heavy all over my body. When I saw the top 10 mistakes that guys make, and I saw the letter in #5, I had to seek advice and that's why I came here.

I've been in a total of 8 relationships before and they all led to the same result:

I was the one that ALWAYS got hurt in the end and most of them didn't even last a month. The longest relationship I've ever been in was 6 months and when it ended I was torn beyond belief. SHE dumped ME for another guy. I didn't know what was wrong, I refused to change and didn't take any advice back then. This was back in High School, about 6 years ago. For a LONG time afterwards I was desperate and I didn't know what to do at the time. Then I realized I had my music, so I started to focus on that more and I eventually began to realize that I was actually feeling content being single and that I could enjoy being by myself, thanks to my music.

And this to me was a MAJOR breakthrough in my past habits.

Fast forward to now:

I'm super happy with myself. I've been doing Self-Improvement for the past 13 months, since I saw "The Secret" which introduced the Law of Attraction and that's what started the whole Self-Improvement movement for me. As I did more research, I began to think more positively, bought and read a TON of books on wealth, purchased audios and what have you but I didn't get the change I was seeking. Yet.

Fast forward to about a month ago. I woke up one morning and I was SO SICK of my financial situation that I HAD to do something. A week earlier I called someone about some success club he was running. And when I woke up that morning I get a call from the same guy and he told me about this sweet business opportunity and I jumped in.

Fast forward to like 3 weeks ago. I took a HUGE leap of faith and went to Arizona for the business seminars, NOT knowing how I was gonna get back. When I got there, I wasn't even REMOTELY focused on a relationship. I went there for business and that was it..........

Until I met........."Her." The girl of my dreams. The girl I had been picturing since High School showed up before my very own eyes in Arizona.

When I read Mistake #5, I KNEW I had screwed up, but after realizing I was still friends with her, I started seeking for help and advice. But I wasn't gonna do ANYTHING whatsoever, until I gained some confidence and self-esteem. So I went to the So Suave website and read a LOT of the materials on there. I was already watching Arkady39's video's and those were helping me out, too. A LOT, actually.

I come HERE to this forum and I get nothing but negativity and that I'm gonna screw up, this, that, etc. It drove me NUTS. lol But it's OK, cause I didn't let it get to me at the end of the day.

I am taking and seeking ALL the advice I can get so I don't screw this one up. This is why I'm keeping my distance from her if I'm anxious, tense or whatever and precisely why I'm not calling her all the time, either. We do talk everyday but if I'm working and she calls, I just tell her that I'll call her back when I'm finished. Cause now, every time we talk we are on the phone for a minimum of a half hour. So if I'm working and she calls, I won't be able to listen to her the way I want to and be a good listener. So I just tell her that I'll call her back and I ALWAYS do.

I ALWAYS stand by my word. Period. No excuses.

My focus NOW is NOT on the relationship since I have that already. I've been reading up on mirroring, building rapport, and seduction. And THIS is what I need help on.

I'm coming to find out that there are some "sweet spots" on a woman's body where if you touch those spots the right way, you can seduce her very quickly.

I also want to learn hypnotic phrases that seduce a woman, too. So when I talk to her, I can say some hypnotic phrases here and there and seduce her over the phone. I think this would have an amazing effect! ESPECIALLY when I leave messages when I call her and she's not there. The thought of this REALLY excites me actually.

So Kevin, I'm open to any advice you can give me on seduction.

Later,
Sina

 

[CaptainJ]

Sina, at first when I was reading this thread, I thought, this guy is so AFC, he is going to fail. But lo and behold, despite doing the most AFC things possible, you actually win the girl. What does this mean? It must mean that you are the most confident, cool alpha ever, despite these AFC tendencies. Just by reading your posts I can tell you have an aura of confidence surrounding you.

Now just imagine this confidence, paired with the mindset of a Don Juan. You could be a master. All I can suggest is read the DJ bible, strive to think like a Don Juan and soon there will be no woman you cannot get. I see a lot of potential in you. You are also open minded and willing to learn, you will stick to your plans despite what people say, telling you to fail and trying to bring you down. However, these people do have a point, you have acted like an abominable AFC, it was only your confidence/charm or whatever that got you the girl. Get the mindset and qualities of a Don Juan and girls will be trippin over each other scrambling to get you.

 

[CoolGuy64]

First of all, OK, THIS is driving me nuts! LOL I keep reading these AFC and OP abbreviations.

What the heck do they stand for?

Secondly, Thank You!

CaptainJ, I appreciate the response you gave me and your really motivating me to dig deeper into the DJ Bible. I have been reading off and on, but mastering it would be like, WOW!

I'm actually doing some NLP and Hypnosis on Friday so I'm gonna take note on this bible to REALLY dig deep into my subconscious mind, maybe even program some crazy cool affirmations into my subconscious to get the success I need not only with my girl, but in money, business relationships, etc. to succeed and win BIG.

The other thing is the Asian Playboy. Now THAT is mind blowing and when I attend a bootcamp with this guy, it is SO ON! LOL This is exciting the hell out of me now! LOL This is SO COOL!

NLP here we come! lol

Sina

 

[Randallpink83]

so wait a minute. this guy was serious?

dude...


fffuuuuuuuuukkkk

 

[CoolGuy64]

so wait a minute. this guy was serious?

dude...


fffuuuuuuuuukkkk

Haha. Well I did get her. So now I need to get my seduction skills up a few notches and find those "sweet spots" to turn her on.

But yeah I was serious. I'm in a position where failure is NOT an option for me anymore. If I want a girl, I'm gonna get her and if I REALLY like her, I'm gonna take all the steps I need to take to succeed. Period.

NO girl is out of my league! NOT anymore! I'm done being the being the ***** "nice guy." Cause that's who I used to be. A "nice guy" who was too much of a wuss to make a move.

Those days are OVER!

Later!
Sina

 

[Barefoot Boy]

In relationships with girls from North Africa, some Asian or Middle Eastern families two young people can 'find' love very quickly.

American women are more jaded and corrupt.

What county are you from Sina?

 

[CoolGuy64]

In relationships with girls from North Africa, some Asian or Middle Eastern families two young people can 'find' love very quickly.

American women are more jaded and corrupt.

What county are you from Sina?

Iran. And its interesting you say that because MOST of our Persian friends that we've known since I was a kid got married in like 2 weeks and the funny part is that 20, 30, 40, even 50 YEARS later, they are STILL in love!

That blows me away!

Sina

 

[CoolGuy64]

Bump.