"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I can't stop getting oneitis for the wrong girls.

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tommeh9

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This is really becoming an issue for me and it's taking up a lot of my emotional energy. The problem is, I KNOW logically that I shouldn't feel anything for these girls but I can't stop myself. Right now, there is a girl who is not a very nice person, shes not that attractive, we have absolutely nothing in common, she tried to use me and lead me on and all my friends tell me shes not worth my time and that I can do so much better than her. Except, I can't stop obsessing and hoping that she'll come after me after telling me she likes me, making out with me and then blatantly hooking up with a random guy right in front of me to make me jealous.

It's really doing my head in and it's not a unique situation. I seem to just go from one girl to the next without really establishing any kind of real relationship. Except every time, I logically understand that I don't have feelings for them and that i'll instantly forget them when I meet someone new. I know the answer is to "date more girls" but I'm struggling to meet people. I don't have many close friends and the ones I do have don't offer me much in terms meeting girls. I'm sorry if this sounds pathetic. I don't have many people to talk to. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is this normal? It's starting to make me feel depressed and that i'll never be able to change. I'm currently reading a lot of material (book of pook, no more mr nice guy etc.) and the theory all makes sense to me but i'm just finding it hard to truly believe it at the core.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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switch7

switch7

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Does one or both of your parents treat you like sh1t? Or were you bullied a lot at school?

How do you feel about yourself as a person? Do you like yourself?
 
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tommeh9

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switch7 said:
Does one or both of your parents treat you like sh1t? Or were you bullied a lot at school?

How do you feel about yourself as a person? Do you like yourself?
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My parents treat me great and always have and I was never bullied at school. I probably spent 90% of my high school career though in the friend zone with various chicks. As in deep in the friend zone. The kind where they say "I wish I could find a guy like you" and then quickly follow up with "But I wouldn't want to ruin out friendship". I've been going to the gym for years as a way to "cope" I guess so I've got a good physique and get a lot of compliments but overall I don't think I like myself. I recently came to the conclusion that I've got pretty low self esteem so I'm trying to work on that
 
switch7

switch7

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tommeh9 said:
My parents treat me great and always have and I was never bullied at school. I probably spent 90% of my high school career though in the friend zone with various chicks. As in deep in the friend zone. The kind where they say "I wish I could find a guy like you" and then quickly follow up with "But I wouldn't want to ruin out friendship". I've been going to the gym for years as a way to "cope" I guess so I've got a good physique and get a lot of compliments but overall I don't think I like myself. I recently came to the conclusion that I've got pretty low self esteem so I'm trying to work on that
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So your low self esteem is why you go for women that are bad for you.

Cure your low self esteem and the women you are attracted to you will change.

It's weird that you had good parents, usually low self esteem comes from bad or absent parenting.. You must have a hang up about something though..
 
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SteR

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How old are you OP? You sound like me when I was younger. I get the impression you're a young guy, and if you are then don't worry.. you've got time. The problem goes away when you have an abundance mentality. At the moment you have no women around so it's unsurprising you get oneitis so easily
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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