I can't stop getting oneitis for the wrong girls.

[tommeh9]

This is really becoming an issue for me and it's taking up a lot of my emotional energy. The problem is, I KNOW logically that I shouldn't feel anything for these girls but I can't stop myself. Right now, there is a girl who is not a very nice person, shes not that attractive, we have absolutely nothing in common, she tried to use me and lead me on and all my friends tell me shes not worth my time and that I can do so much better than her. Except, I can't stop obsessing and hoping that she'll come after me after telling me she likes me, making out with me and then blatantly hooking up with a random guy right in front of me to make me jealous.

It's really doing my head in and it's not a unique situation. I seem to just go from one girl to the next without really establishing any kind of real relationship. Except every time, I logically understand that I don't have feelings for them and that i'll instantly forget them when I meet someone new. I know the answer is to "date more girls" but I'm struggling to meet people. I don't have many close friends and the ones I do have don't offer me much in terms meeting girls. I'm sorry if this sounds pathetic. I don't have many people to talk to. I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is this normal? It's starting to make me feel depressed and that i'll never be able to change. I'm currently reading a lot of material (book of pook, no more mr nice guy etc.) and the theory all makes sense to me but i'm just finding it hard to truly believe it at the core.

 

[switch7]

Does one or both of your parents treat you like sh1t? Or were you bullied a lot at school?

How do you feel about yourself as a person? Do you like yourself?

 

[tommeh9]

Does one or both of your parents treat you like sh1t? Or were you bullied a lot at school?

How do you feel about yourself as a person? Do you like yourself?

My parents treat me great and always have and I was never bullied at school. I probably spent 90% of my high school career though in the friend zone with various chicks. As in deep in the friend zone. The kind where they say "I wish I could find a guy like you" and then quickly follow up with "But I wouldn't want to ruin out friendship". I've been going to the gym for years as a way to "cope" I guess so I've got a good physique and get a lot of compliments but overall I don't think I like myself. I recently came to the conclusion that I've got pretty low self esteem so I'm trying to work on that

 

[switch7]

My parents treat me great and always have and I was never bullied at school. I probably spent 90% of my high school career though in the friend zone with various chicks. As in deep in the friend zone. The kind where they say "I wish I could find a guy like you" and then quickly follow up with "But I wouldn't want to ruin out friendship". I've been going to the gym for years as a way to "cope" I guess so I've got a good physique and get a lot of compliments but overall I don't think I like myself. I recently came to the conclusion that I've got pretty low self esteem so I'm trying to work on that

So your low self esteem is why you go for women that are bad for you.

Cure your low self esteem and the women you are attracted to you will change.

It's weird that you had good parents, usually low self esteem comes from bad or absent parenting.. You must have a hang up about something though..

 

[SteR]

How old are you OP? You sound like me when I was younger. I get the impression you're a young guy, and if you are then don't worry.. you've got time. The problem goes away when you have an abundance mentality. At the moment you have no women around so it's unsurprising you get oneitis so easily