I cant kiss a girl anymore...

[Stormblade]

I had some horrible experiences with my ex i've been getting over, its been messing with all my relationships...
I cant kiss a girl anymore...
I've tried and messed it up so bad it was like I never knew how!
I have no idea what to do...I cant get over this mental block
when I did I messed the kiss up...I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and besides one instance where I freaked up trying to kiss her I havent tried again...
What the heck do I do!
I have no idea what kind of advice or verbal beatings you guys can give me...but I need something to knock me awake and figure this crap out

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

The only solution to your kissing dilemma is suicide

 

[ChesterB]

Try autosuggestion / affirmations / brainwashing yourself (it's all the same)
Do a search for this on the forum or the internet.

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Stormblade
I had some horrible experiences with my ex i've been getting over, its been messing with all my relationships...
I cant kiss a girl anymore...
I've tried and messed it up so bad it was like I never knew how!
I have no idea what to do...I cant get over this mental block
when I did I messed the kiss up...I've been seeing this girl for about a month now and besides one instance where I freaked up trying to kiss her I havent tried again...
What the heck do I do!
I have no idea what kind of advice or verbal beatings you guys can give me...but I need something to knock me awake and figure this crap out

Okay first of all I don't understand what exactly your problem is. You say you messed the kiss up. What does that mean?

If you're simply a bad kisser, then you need more practice.

You also say that you freaked out trying to kiss her. What does this mean? You need to explain yourself better if you expect good advice.

 

[Stormblade]

Im not a bad kisser I used to be quite good at it
Ever since my ex who was a virgin I had to slow my game down
Basically kissing her took a month, she pushed me away numerous times but was still very interested
We never had any type of sex we did kiss
Ever since then I have the same ******d game that I used to
I can pick up girls quite easily, get phone numbers and dates
But I was always hanging onto the ex and I had a string of bad luck with some girls who ended up being crazy...never wanted to kiss them
Anyway, now I meet this girl I kept psyching myself out then I went to kiss her and she was surprised yet receptive
I nailed the kiss on her bottom lip and she was aiming for my upper lip...very akward so I acted like an *******, told her she sucked and basically threw her out the door
now shes all over me
Its been 3 times now i've had her sitting on my bed with me...watching a movie...and I just cant do it...i've got nothing
All the game to get a girl on my bed but I cant seal the deal

 

[livin large]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
The only solution to your kissing dilemma is suicide

First off, I think everybody knows you're joking, but don't joke about suicide. 99% of the time nothing will happen, but for the person already thinking about it, all they need is a reason...

Anyway, Storm, it sounds like this girl likes you, so take advantage of that. Make her kiss you - put the pressure on her. She should be sucking your **** for the right to kiss you. Then you can just go with the flow instead of feeling like you have to make it a great kiss.

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by Stormblade
Im not a bad kisser I used to be quite good at it
Ever since my ex who was a virgin I had to slow my game down
Basically kissing her took a month, she pushed me away numerous times but was still very interested
We never had any type of sex we did kiss

So she trained you like a puppy dog to slow down. So that has taught you to wait because she might not be "ready" Okay that's fine.

Anyway, now I meet this girl I kept psyching myself out then I went to kiss her and she was surprised yet receptive
I nailed the kiss on her bottom lip and she was aiming for my upper lip...very akward so I acted like an *******, told her she sucked and basically threw her out the door
now shes all over me
Its been 3 times now i've had her sitting on my bed with me...watching a movie...and I just cant do it...i've got nothing
All the game to get a girl on my bed but I cant seal the deal

Now when you say "psyching myself out" what exactly do you mean? Like "okay I have to do it" a hundred times until you do it? If so Ouch!! There's a better way.

I want you to think about the thing think about when you decide to go for a kiss. Is it a feeling? If it's a feeling, I want you to look inside it and I want you to label all the different pieces it is made out of. What is it made out of? What other "things" or "feelings" are in there in the mix?

What I mean is for example: In my case, when I decide to go for a girls' phone number I feel this thing that most of us call "insecurity" But insecurity is not a primal feeling. We don't feel insecure when we are born. But fear for example is a primal emotion, also anger, happiness/joy, disgust, sadness, anticipation, acceptance, surprise are all basic emotions. Combined with each other they make up all the feelings that we get.

Like insecurity above could be a combination of fear+hopelesness and something else.