"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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I cant keep a Steady Heart Beat or my breathing

theapprentice

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Im 20 years old and I've noticed this and as I socialize more and more and go to places with more people walking around with people my age, I have noticed for the past few yeas.

My heart starts to beat faster and my breathing gets faster. I could walk down the street and see a cutie walk by and she would look at me, and I'll get this sudden rush of fear and my head would quickly turn away, or there could be a group of big guys and my heart would beat faster and I try not to make EC cuz Im scared Ill get beat up.

Today as I was walking near a mall, my heart was going crazy and I couldnt even relax, and I even told myself, and I KNOW I believe it. I told myself I dont give a damn if everybody thinks I am stupid, ugly, bad what ever.

But I still was scared and I couldnt calm down.

This is starting to PIss mee off big time, I feel like ripping my heart out and putting a new one in.

I mean I cant even stand in a place of college kids and relax, Ill always get nervous esp if there bigger guys around or women.

My thoughts are calm but my heart and breathing are racing at a million miles.

I wouldnt know what the cause of all this is, I mean I was raped when I was 5, and I was abused in school bullied and beaten and in Highschool. But its been so long that I should have forgotten it.

Idk what to do.

I want to approach women but my body gets in the way
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BOWIE

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Normally, it's just a matter of conditioning and practice but your case is so severe and deeply rooted that you need psychological help. I'm not saying that in stride either. I work in a behavioral health facility.
All that nervousness is going to cause health problems too. Hopefully you can afford to get help, if not there are free counceling groups, especially through churches, that can help you.
Good luck man and please get yourself some help as you don't want to throw away any more of your life due to this illness.
 

BOWIE

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theapprentice said:
I feel like ripping my heart out and putting a new one in.

I want to approach women but my body gets in the way
By the way, it's your mind, not your body that is causing the problem. You may be trying to generate normal thoughts but something deep inside your mind is triggering a physical reaction. It's detecting something that you're scared of and preparing you for danger by accelerating your blood flow.
 

Yuriy777

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BOWIE said:
Normally, it's just a matter of conditioning and practice but your case is so severe and deeply rooted that you need psychological help. I'm not saying that in stride either. I work in a behavioral health facility.
All that nervousness is going to cause health problems too. Hopefully you can afford to get help, if not there are free counceling groups, especially through churches, that can help you.
Good luck man and please get yourself some help as you don't want to throw away any more of your life due to this illness.
...Another suggestion would be to involve yourself in one or two activities where breath and/or heart rate control is important.
Public speaking courses/seminars come to mind since you get nervous in social situations. For breath control I would recommend something like swimming. For both breath and heart rate control I would recommend riflery / target shooting (skeet is fun too).
 

Titanium

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I agree with what Bowie said...

That rapid heart beat is a rush of adrenaline. While you experience this, it doesn’t seem logical to you, but you’re mainly having a physical reaction….your body is basically responding to underlying mental fear, and your muscles are reacting as though they are about to face a very threatening situation.

People who have stage fright, or fear of public speaking experience something similar. When someone is about to be attacked by a bear or a lion, it might feel similar as well. I am no psychologist, but it sounds like you have some social anxiety. Or a very, very mild panic attack. Its not all that uncommon. I think the key is to address the problem soon, rather than spending years reinforcing it, like some people do.

Off the top of my head…something like Toast Masters might be really good for you. This organization is found in different locations internationally, and often there are meetings held at universities.

The focus of such meetings is to practice speaking in front of other people….and as unappealing as that sounds.... people find that it builds confidence, improves speaking skills and helps alleviate their social anxiety in many ways.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Titanium

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Yuriy777 said:
...Another suggestion would be to involve yourself in one or two activities where breath and/or heart rate control is important.
Public speaking courses/seminars come to mind since you get nervous in social situations. For breath control I would recommend something like swimming. For both breath and heart rate control I would recommend riflery / target shooting (skeet is fun too).
I didn't see your post. These are all really good suggestions.
 
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