I broke NC. Having a talk tomorrow

[fuko2007]

Are we seeing the same girl? sounds just like mine. Shes friendly to everyone in front of you but all depressed or negative when it just the two of you. I got a phone call lastnight after she got home and was all sad and upset about her job and didnt feel like telling me what was going on and that she had to figure some things out. I said ok and that was it. I was always asking to meet up etc only to have the whole question circumvinted and would have to ask three times before i would get a half answer and it would be pretty much a no. Im at the point where i feel bad and know she has alot on her plate but dont put me off and go to a bar and be all smiles then say you dont feel like doing anything with me because your up set. YOU JUST WENT OUT. Im trying to figure out if i should support or not. thats where i dont know if its best to do a semi NC i.e. dont text or call her let her text or call or just bot her out of my life all togther. But i have to remember she is much older than me and has a house etc etc to pay for and should have job security at her age. But i dont know maybe you should go limited NC and only respond if she contacts. thats what im going to do.

 

[BrownBear]

I'm vegetarian 20 hours a day.

So what :trouble:

 

[Die Hard]

I'm afraid someone is about to discover the ugly truth about HYPERGAMY soon....

Finding out that your girl was fvcking some other dude while YOU were fighting to safe your relationship, can be a very strong learning experience...

 

[PoZest]

Hope thats not true. I'm getting over it slowly with the NC however...

She text me this morning just about something important about a mutual friend and I had to reply, I spoke a few times and she comes out with "I miss you you know "
I had no idea what I should say in response to that so I just ignored it and changed the subject back to the other thing.
Then later on I told her I was going home and she said I'm on my way home now, I might bump into you... (Live 5 mins from each other) Then I said let me know if you're still out in 10 minutes (Shouldn't of done this I know)
and then she text saying "sorry I'm just getting in " then I was like its fine then she text saying "I know but "

I haven't replied to that. And I won't text tomorrow. But is there anything which I should reply to if she texts me? Like if she says she wants to talk or she wants to go out. Or just talks about something else. I don't feel in a position to just ignore every text

 

[Die Hard]

Just curious... How old are you, anyway?

Hope thats not true. I'm getting over it slowly with the NC however...

Lol, WHAT NC?

 

[Purefilth]

Hope thats not true. I'm getting over it slowly with the NC however...

She text me this morning just about something important about a mutual friend and I had to reply, I spoke a few times and she comes out with "I miss you you know "
I had no idea what I should say in response to that so I just ignored it and changed the subject back to the other thing.
Then later on I told her I was going home and she said I'm on my way home now, I might bump into you... (Live 5 mins from each other) Then I said let me know if you're still out in 10 minutes (Shouldn't of done this I know)
and then she text saying "sorry I'm just getting in " then I was like its fine then she text saying "I know but "

I haven't replied to that. And I won't text tomorrow. But is there anything which I should reply to if she texts me? Like if she says she wants to talk or she wants to go out. Or just talks about something else. I don't feel in a position to just ignore every text

Welcome to Attention Wh0res and Hypergamy.

oh and youre back to day 1 of NC.

 

[Neon Owl]

DO NOT fall for the 'I miss you' routine. As soon as you show interest in making up with her she will pull away again, thus retaining the power in the breakup.

It's happened to me and I'm sure many others on here.

 

[PoZest]

Just curious... How old are you, anyway?
Lol, WHAT NC?

23

I know, back to day one.
So when is it ok to reply or talk? Are we saying that by replying to her it will make it worse and she will go distant again straight away?
What I thought my goal was, was to get her IL back up. Which would mean her texting first, her arranging meets etc. and I think this is starting to happen. But when will I know the jobs done? Because won't she just give up if I ignore?

 

[BrownBear]

23

I know, back to day one.
So when is it ok to reply or talk? Are we saying that by replying to her it will make it worse and she will go distant again straight away?
What I thought my goal was, was to get her IL back up. Which would mean her texting first, her arranging meets etc. and I think this is starting to happen. But when will I know the jobs done? Because won't she just give up if I ignore?

Wrong answer, baby

 

[whatwg]

So what :trouble:

He does NC for 2 days at a time...

 

[whatwg]

23

I know, back to day one.
So when is it ok to reply or talk? Are we saying that by replying to her it will make it worse and she will go distant again straight away?
What I thought my goal was, was to get her IL back up. Which would mean her texting first, her arranging meets etc. and I think this is starting to happen. But when will I know the jobs done? Because won't she just give up if I ignore?

You can't get a girl's IL up by talking to her.

If a girl isn't interested in you, no way IL can grow. If you ignore and she gives up, all you can do is move on. That will give the biggest chance she'll come back, even if it means its extremely unlikely.

If a girl is interested in you, IL can grow if you are a challenge. You can't raise her IL by texting her.

To try to keep a girl a max IL, you do the minimum it takes to keep it going.

If each time, to keep it going, you have to do more and more, you know you two are over.

 

[PoZest]

Yeah I get you. Well she never spoke today and I have not text her either. It would just be the weekend I'd be worried about because if I'm ignoring her or not speaking she could easily just get with someone else when she's out, but I shouldn't think like that.

 

[plate's_empty]

any way the moderators could lock this thread?

 

[BrownBear]

Yeah I get you. Well she never spoke today and I have not text her either. It would just be the weekend I'd be worried about because if I'm ignoring her or not speaking she could easily just get with someone else when she's out, but I shouldn't think like that.

you are totally right man

The best way to get her back is to show her your love. Text her good night and good morning everyday, remember to put as many emoticons as possible. How much money do you have? Spend it all on gifts, flowers and chocolate for her. And the most important thing is to tell her you love her at least 10 times a day.

Do what I said and her IL will shoot the star

 

[Die Hard]

any way the moderators could lock this thread?

It's frustrating, isn't it? Some people just can't help themselves, not even when they get help from a whole forum of DJ's, lol. Those people just need to crash and burn HARD until they learn anything... We just have to step away and watch him go through it, nothing we can do about it.

But threads like these will serve as a warning for other people, it's the ultimate example of AFC'dom and what not to do. New guys who come on here, can read it and it might prevent them from making the same mistake.
Thus, there's no reason to close the thread. Just stop replying to him or stop reading the thread altogeher if you can't take the frustration anymore

 

[May_Day]

Why are you still talking to her? It is clear that she isn't interested in you.

 

[PoZest]

I kept up NC for a bit but we were both on the same night out with about 10 mutual friends. I intended to give her no attention this night, but she came to me and spoke, danced with me, where I had been talking with others. Since then we have been talking again.
So my no contact wasn't really no contact it was more like no initiating meets, or texting first. But it lasted 5 days, and she said she misses me 2 days ago and asked to see me. We went for food, a drive and had sex (it was the first time in about 5 weeks), and we did this today also. I'm finding it a lot easier as I was getting over her until she text. I am now not letting myself get feelings for her, I definitely won't tell her I love her again or anything like that, although she's said it yesterday, I just ignored it.
I know my problem the last time was being too available and my oneitis for her. So I've also been speaking to other women, not went out with anyone else yet though. She's saying things as if she wants me to say I love her, putting herself down and fishing for compliments etc. I have tried to just avoid anything like that and just carry on like it is. I'd like some advice on not getting oneitis so bad again and appearing as AFC is I was a few weeks back.

She asked me to stay at her house when her parents are away next week.
I'm unsure on what to do until then. How many times should I see her in the next 9 days until then.
Don't know whether I should initiate the next meet or not.
I'm also wondering what to do about the non stop text thing. She's started to text me a lot again and I do always reply, not boring, I'm funny, but is it recommended to cut this down, and only text a couple of times a day?

 

[pdx1138]

I've been there myself and learned the hard way.

Here's the deal.

DO NOT.....REPEAT..... DO NOT....ever contact her to make plans or chat from now on.

Leave it entirely up to her. You might be surprised that after some time she won't mention that you never initiate or ask her what she's doing for the weekend. It's weird, but par for the course on this kind of female behavior.

Do what you will, but you need to detach your emotions...cuz I guarantee just as sure as the sun sets...she WILL let you down again.

So detach, meet other women and in the mean time, get some free booty from her on the side.
Some day and it might be weeks/months or in my case...a year....you'll get bored with banging her and wish her well and be done.

 

[May_Day]

How hard is it to ignore someone?

 

[pdx1138]

How hard is it to ignore someone?

It can be extremely difficult when full on emotionally invested.

Happens to the best of us. Then we learn from it not to let it happen again.