I broke NC. Having a talk tomorrow

[PoZest]

Right I've been over she only had half an hour but at least she didn't flake. So we agreed as we left to see her tomorrow night aswell.
I've said all I want to know is if she's worth it and is the girl I thought she was because she was judged by other people for gettting with me when I was in a LTR and I told her what people said to me about her (that she's an AW she will leave once she has me) and I said I don't want to believe them.
She said its not fair for me to think this because she IS feeling down about her family issue and her friend issue, and everything that went on about my ex and her. I felt quite bad at this point.
I told her I do think she's respectable but she needs to see it from my point of view and she has gone distant as soon as I left my ex and its no good to me, and that shes not the fun person who could make me happy a month ago.
She was playing the victim saying how she's so upset people have said these things about her and thinks everyone is against her and hopes I don't think its true. I told her I didn't, but I want this sorted out if I end it I want it to be for the right reasons not because I can't wait around for her to get over her issues.

I know I haven't gone through with this properly but tomorrow night I have another chance to either end it and NC, or act/say something to get the power back and reverse my AFC-ness if that is possible.

 

[MikeOck]

I know I haven't gone through with this properly but tomorrow night I have another chance to either end it and NC, or act/say something to get the power back and reverse my AFC-ness if that is possible.

As long as you believe that she is the hottest girl you will ever get, you are doomed to failure. You got her didn't you? You can get another girl as hot or hotter.

It isn't so much about actually getting a hotter girl, it is the belief that you can't and won't that turns you (or any man) AFC. It forces us to put up with things that we wouldn't otherwise and it forces you to adopt a mentality of submission. Women can smell it a mile away and it dries up their vaginas faster than panties full of sand.

 

[SpazzAttackk]

Get over there man and rip **** up. Act like a MAN. Get ALPHA and lay down the goddamn fvckin' law.

You want her respect? Treat her like garbage. Every opportunity you get...act above her.

This is why I refrain from taking advice from most people on SS lol. You come off as a lonely troll brah



Obviously dont treat her like Garbage, thats not alpha. Thats a beta with an inferiority complex. Be careful of whos advice you take here. As much as I love SS, you can tell what dudes have been single and lonely for a long time and spend their time trolling these boards

 

[fuko2007]

well glad to hear you got to talk and did not end up fighting. As far as the next meeting goes i would lay everything out and be understanding / empathetic towards her plight. You want her to know your there and willing to work or wait on things. But not to avaliable. This would be a good test for you and her. Back off for a while and do some of the old things you used to do that you enjoyed. This will slowly get her out of your mind and in the mean time if she calls you and or stays in touch keep your time limited and dont just drop anything and everything to talk or see her.

Alot of people as i can see are saying shes out hoeing it up etc etc. That may or may not be the case. And dont ever act on what other people tell you about somebody. Ive learnd the hard way trust me. But man do what you feel is right. Not everyone on here is a relationship guru thats why they are here. A real alpha knows how to express himself and show his feelings. He does not hide behind a cloak of badass or acting like an *******. Your fighting for something you believe in thats alpha...anybody can throw something down and walk away but not everyone can stand up and fight. good luck bud hope everything works out for you. keep us posted

 

[PoZest]

When I saw her last night we didn't even bring up the issue about her being distant lately, and we just went out as normal. Went to see a movie, (I didn't pay for both of us) I picked the movie. Throughout the film we kissed like normal (first time in a few weeks) and she was lying her head on my shoulder etc. I dropped her off at home quite late near midnight, and we have text a few times since then, nothing sexual/flirty though.

I don't know whether its now best to just see her like once a week or something, instead of the every day thing we used to do. And will it be a good idea to stop the texting, like she's at work now, so do I not send anything until she does?
I would normally ask how work was, or ask what shes doing tonight. In fact I'd normally ask to see her, on my way out or on her way home or something...

It still doesn't seem the same as we used to be but we were talking and kissing like normal and all that last night, so I don't know what she thinks.

Maybe if I treat this like another chance to not be an AFC and be less available. So its an idea to make the texts less frequent, and not ask to see her for now unless she says something?
Quite stuck on what to do now because I know I'll seem desperate and all that if we were only out yesterday and I ask to see her again tomorrow. I probably need to act like I'm too busy or something for a few days, don't know what is best to do if she doesn't text though.

 

[whatwg]

Try seeing her only once every 8-10 days. Every day is too much. You aren't married. Be busy on Friday nights and weekends. Occasionally skip a week without seeing her unless she calls. Don't initiate contact just to talk random ****. Its like a kite. Sometimes you just need to give it some more string so it can fly higher, even if its more exciting to pull the kite taut. (I don't fly kites). If she asks you for a date less than a week after the last one, reject and counter offer to fit the 8+ day period. You can see her on Sunday but only if she suggests it.

 

[PoZest]

Try seeing her only once every 8-10 days. Every day is too much. You aren't married. Be busy on Friday nights and weekends. Occasionally skip a week without seeing her unless she calls. Don't initiate contact just to talk random ****. Its like a kite. Sometimes you just need to give it some more string so it can fly higher, even if its more exciting to pull the kite taut. (I don't fly kites). If she asks you for a date less than a week after the last one, reject and counter offer to fit the 8+ day period. You can see her on Sunday but only if she suggests it.

I'd do this, its just I know she's out on nights out over the weekend, and with us not being exclusive, I'm just thinking if I don't text her or see her she will have a lot of other guys hitting on her when she's out. And I don't know what would happen there... I've NC for two days now, and she hasn't bothered texting. But I do feel like I should at least text, not to meet up, just to see how its going or something?

 

[BrownBear]

I'd do this, its just I know she's out on nights out over the weekend, and with us not being exclusive, I'm just thinking if I don't text her or see her she will have a lot of other guys hitting on her when she's out. And I don't know what would happen there... I've NC for two days now, and she hasn't bothered texting. But I do feel like I should at least text, not to meet up, just to see how its going or something?

you are simply stupid

 

[PoZest]

Was that a bad idea? lol. I just spoke to her I didn't ask what she got upto or anything and we spoke as normal. I told her I was going out tonight. She asked how my weekend was and that she's going to go to sleep to recover. So it was only 3 texts. I really need to do NC it don't I?

 

[plate's_empty]

Was that a bad idea? lol. I just spoke to her I didn't ask what she got upto or anything and we spoke as normal. I told her I was going out tonight. She asked how my weekend was and that she's going to go to sleep to recover. So it was only 3 texts. I really need to do NC it don't I?

It's tough to do but NC means NO CONTACT, not a how are you text or call. The reason for NC is because even the simplest of text's or convos can indicate that you still want her. Guys spin plates because guys like to have a girls around to get laid. Girls have orbiters because they're AW's and like to have guys do things for them and buy them things. You're going out and she's tired. You are quickly falling into the orbiter category. She knows you still want her and is 100% content with you going out, knowing full well, that whatever girl you meet, it won't matter, because you will be thinking of her. Even if you get laid, you'll be comparing the girl to her and be wishing it was her.

 

[Die Hard]

I hate to break it to you, but you are BETA as fvck!! Oh well, at least us other guys can learn from your stupidity...


Let's analyze:

The girl I'd been seeing for about 2/3 months went all distant on me (sex stopped for 3 weeks)...

Although a month ago she said she never wants to lose me and she loves me and everything, I am not getting the same feelings from her lately. She never texts anymore...

She's been hanging out with her friends though and thats what annoys me, she's seemed fine with them but last time I saw her she was crying and upset to me...

The girl is showing very alarming behavior! So the boyfriend confronts her about it:

I called her on this. Her excuse was that she had issues with her family and was very sad about it. (true) I made her see me to talk, and was just being there for her when she cried and she thanked me for it, but it didn't help and I feel like I've been friend zoned.

So, instead of reminding her of her responsibilities as a girlfriend and defending his own interests, the guy acts like an emotional tampon. Way to go...

I really don't want to just lose her because (I know I shouldn't say this, but) shes the hottest girl I'll ever get, the sex was amazing, I'm a 7, got a baby with an ex, and she's a hb9,

Here we can already see the reason for his chump behavior and can already predict how the rest of the story is gonna play out... The girl has total control of the frame, she holds all power in this relationship because the guy needs her more than she needs him (which is probably an understatement...). He is afraid to lose her and therefor he is completely powerless to change anything about his relationship. Whenever the girl would do something he doesn't like, he will have to accept it, because when he stands up against her, he runs the risk of losing her. And that is a risk he is never willing to take, so he will akways have to accept any bad behavior from her.

So when he decides to make an attempt to stand up for himself, we already know that he is gonna fail horribly. So let's see how that went:

I decided to go NC, but I was weak and broke this...

I broke NC by texting saying I want to talk to her Tomorrow Night, she said she's not doing anything important and that should be fine...

Ah great, he went No Contact! For a day or two... Then he caved (obviously, coz he can't live without her and therefor holds no power at all). But wait, he decided to confront her again and set up a meet for the next day! Let's sse what happened!

Right I've been over she only had half an hour but at least she didn't flake. So we agreed as we left to see her tomorrow night aswell...

Let's not forget that he had already confronted her one time before this night. That time, he acted like an emotional tampon. This time, he still cannot stand up for himself and allows her to brush him off. The "princess" will only grant him an audience for 30 minutes and then the worthless slave must return to his cage. Of course, the pathetic slave accepts this and doesn't demand more time. Remember, if he stands up for himself and pisses her off, she might leave him and that is something he is not willing to risk...

So what happened in those 30 minutes, then?

I've said all I want to know is if she's worth it and is the girl I thought she was because she was judged by other people for gettting with me when I was in a LTR and I told her what people said to me about her (that she's an AW she will leave once she has me) and I said I don't want to believe them.
She said its not fair for me to think this because she IS feeling down about her family issue and her friend issue, and everything that went on about my ex and her. I felt quite bad at this point.

Ahh, he makes a little attempt to stand up for himself and tells her he hopes she's not an AW who will leave him once she has him. But the bytch easily deflects his attempt and shames him for standing up for himself. She tells him he is being unfair and plays the victim card. She is oh so sad and helpless, the whole world is always against her, boo-hoo And now even her own boyfriend is being mean to her, he should be ashamed of himself!!
Of course, the boyfriend is only trying to stand up for himself to a girlfriend who has been showing very bad behavior lately, but who cares about that, right?
So, being the chump that he is, he falls for her shaming tactics and starts feeling bad about himself:

I felt quite bad at this point.

But hey, there's always tomorrow, right? So the chump decides to make a THIRD attempt to stand up for himself the next day. How did that go?

When I saw her last night we didn't even bring up the issue about her being distant lately, and we just went out as normal. Went to see a movie, (I didn't pay for both of us) I picked the movie. Throughout the film we kissed like normal (first time in a few weeks) and she was lying her head on my shoulder etc. I dropped her off at home quite late near midnight, and we have text a few times since then, nothing sexual/flirty though.

How sad... He doesn't even go through with his attempt anymore and decides to give up. He simply doesn't bring up the issue at all... Instead, he just acts like boyfriend-girlfriend with her, just as if two people do when they are in a healthy relationship. Wow, I wonder what message his girlfriend would get from this behavior of his???
What do you think guys? When you treat your girlfriend normally, like there is nothing bothering you, what message will that behavior send to her? Right, that there is nothing bothering you!!! Or that something is bothering you, but you are too chicken to stand up for yourself...

Ugh, I'm just gonna stop here, I think I'm about to throw up from all this horrible beta behavior. To finish things up, the guy is now posting how he is afraid that other guys will hit her up if he goes No Contact for too long etc. etc. Great, so he is unable to apply one of the most important tools in the DJ handbook (going No Contact)....
In other words, his whole fvcking thoughts, feelings and behavior are dominated by the fear of losing her and therefor he is unable to ever act strong and stand up for himself against this little wh0re. He is destined to fail with this girl forever and be her emotional slave forever. Fvcking pathetic and a fvcking disgrace...

LEARN FROM THIS EXAMPLE, GUYS! DON'T EVER LET YOURSELF BECOME A WEAK AND HELPLESS CHUMP LIKE THIS GUY!

 

[Die Hard]

To continue... This is what happens when you don't respect yourself!

What are the basics of SoSuave? Read fvcking Book of Pook and remind yourself of the lessons.

RESPECT IS ALL. The bytch must respect you and you must make her respect you! If she disrespects you, you grab your balls and stand up for yourself! You are THE PRIZE, remember?!

But hey, how can you expect a bytch to respect you, if you don't even respect YOURSELF?!

shes the hottest girl I'll ever get, the sex was amazing, I'm a 7, got a baby with an ex, and she's a hb9

WTF is this attitude?!?!?! "I'm worthless and she's a goddess..." The moment you catch yourself holding such beta thoughts, you should go find a rope and hang yourself. It's either that or you kick yourself in the butt and get real angry and eliminate those chump thoughts. Life is a fvcking battlefield, you either sink or swim, you either eat or get eaten. Other people are trying to get you down, your own thoughts are trying to get you down, your own emotions are trying to get you down, random events are trying to get you down.... LIFE ITSELF is trying to get you down!!
So pick up your goddamn sword and fight, instead of letting the enemy squash you like a fvcking ****roach.... Like I said, if you are not gonna do that, then just go and KILL YOURSELF, coz it's the same thing! Either the world kills you or you kill yourself, makes no fvckin difference... The only alternative to that, is to be a man and fight! So make your choice!

 

[PoZest]

Thanks. I appreciate all the advice here. It is exactly what I need.

 

[fuko2007]

dude im in the same place. It sucks and is hard but NC for a while is the best way to go. Only diffrence is my relationship has been going on for about 2 years now. If she acts like your an option then go do your own thing and when she calls or texts tell her you will catch up later on your own terms. But let us know whats going on.

 

[PoZest]

dude im in the same place. It sucks and is hard but NC for a while is the best way to go. Only diffrence is my relationship has been going on for about 2 years now. If she acts like your an option then go do your own thing and when she calls or texts tell her you will catch up later on your own terms. But let us know whats going on.

I'm doing NC again now but it was her not texting back that made me think I can definitely going through with it properly. It may be difficult tomorrow as it would be the day we are both off work and would be able to do something together, and I have nothing planned myself. But I know that texting to talk or meet will ruin everything and make me look more desperate.

So what do I do on the off chance that SHE texts me, would I respond causally like I'm not interested, ignore it?

 

[fuko2007]

alright let me read u a convo with my girl i just had....

ME: hey how are u feeling?
HER: Fine bad day
ME:Sorry to hear that , feel like doing anything after?
HER:gonna go by X for a few min. "a ber we both go to"
ME: K..im working late ...what about after?
Her:COME BY X IF U WANT CUTTING PHONE OFF WORK RELATED. " she never cuts her phone off even when we are on a trip"
ME: Im good, ill catch up with u later, sorry your day was bed
HER:Its WORK stuff...!!!!!
ME: I know, ive got to get this done , if u turn your phone on later and feel like doing something text me.


See i messsed up i texted her and when she said its work stuff i should have cut it off there. Im going NC as of right now. No point in keeping this up. Kepp in mind she had never texted me until i texted her. And she never turns her phone off. And we always do something monday nights so do what im gonna do....go get some beer and enjoy your day. You know you dont have to wait for a call or plan something to do or the worst one have to wait to see her and walk on egg shels when yall are talking. So enjoy you day and post how you feel later. Tonight will suck but im there to. hang in there.

 

[PoZest]

alright let me read u a convo with my girl i just had....

ME: hey how are u feeling?
HER: Fine bad day
ME:Sorry to hear that , feel like doing anything after?
HER:gonna go by X for a few min. "a ber we both go to"
ME: K..im working late ...what about after?
Her:COME BY X IF U WANT CUTTING PHONE OFF WORK RELATED. " she never cuts her phone off even when we are on a trip"
ME: Im good, ill catch up with u later, sorry your day was bed
HER:Its WORK stuff...!!!!!
ME: I know, ive got to get this done , if u turn your phone on later and feel like doing something text me.


See i messsed up i texted her and when she said its work stuff i should have cut it off there. Im going NC as of right now. No point in keeping this up. Kepp in mind she had never texted me until i texted her. And she never turns her phone off. And we always do something monday nights so do what im gonna do....go get some beer and enjoy your day. You know you dont have to wait for a call or plan something to do or the worst one have to wait to see her and walk on egg shels when yall are talking. So enjoy you day and post how you feel later. Tonight will suck but im there to. hang in there.

Yo thats similar to what I did, I definitely need to go NC. I saw her the other day and I ended up sounding AFC because I was questioning how she's too friendly with other people and she took offense to it, probably guilty. And spoke about her distant-ness. Excuses were like, 'I don't feel right lately', 'my depressed friend needs me' etc. Which was the only reason I carried on bothering with her. Otherwise I'd of just quit trying but she'd said this and I thought to give her a chance.
But there's no excuse to just not reply to texts. It puts me off trying. She'd never text first anymore its always me lately and me asking to meet up. And I'd be over this aswell I wouldn't care at all, but she's told me a month ago that she always messes things up and hopes she doesn't lose me etc. But I can't be the one making all the effort any more. My last attempt to arrange a meetup she said she couldn't but didn't give a counter offer for a different day or anything.

The other day...
ME: how was work, you doing anything tonight. movie later?
HER: hey was ok don't know what im doing might be going to see [sad friend]
ME: oh right hope its ok, dont think im doing anything later so give me a text if youre free
HER: some rubbish about not knowing how long her friend will need her to be there.
ME: ok let me know if its before 9 otherwise could do something tomorrow.
No reply.

NExt day I text her but I didn't ask to meet, I wanted her to ask. We sent two or three normal texts and she didnt reply to my last one and now I'm done.

I've deleted her number aswell but I am so stupid I know it in my head anyway, but I really can't let myself text her anymore. I owe it to myself

 

[plate's_empty]

The other day...
ME: how was work, you doing anything tonight. movie later?
HER: hey was ok don't know what im doing might be going to see [sad friend]
ME: oh right hope its ok, dont think im doing anything later so give me a text if youre free
HER: some rubbish about not knowing how long her friend will need her to be there.
ME: ok let me know if its before 9 otherwise could do something tomorrow.
No reply.

I could barely get through that one. Sighed a few times, shook my head a few more. Just shook my head again.

 

[whatwg]

I'd do this, its just I know she's out on nights out over the weekend, and with us not being exclusive, I'm just thinking if I don't text her or see her she will have a lot of other guys hitting on her when she's out. And I don't know what would happen there... I've NC for two days now, and she hasn't bothered texting. But I do feel like I should at least text, not to meet up, just to see how its going or something?

Don't ever text/call.

Unless you're setting a date.

 

[whatwg]

I'm vegetarian 20 hours a day.