I broke NC. Having a talk tomorrow

[PoZest]

The girl I'd been seeing for about 2/3 months went all distant on me (sex stopped for 3 weeks) and I called her on this. Her excuse was that she had issues with her family and was very sad about it. (true) I made her see me to talk, and was just being there for her when she cried and she thanked me for it, but it didn't help and I feel like I've been friend zoned.

Although a month ago she said she never wants to lose me and she loves me and everything, I am not getting the same feelings from her lately. She never texts anymore and I decided to go NC, but I was weak and broke this. She's been hanging out with her friends though and thats what annoys me, she's seemed fine with them but last time I saw her she was crying and upset to me.

I broke NC by texting saying I want to talk to her Tomorrow Night, she said she's not doing anything important and that should be fine.

But I don't know what to say and how to act. I really don't want to just lose her because (I know I shouldn't say this, but) shes the hottest girl I'll ever get, the sex was amazing, I'm a 7, got a baby with an ex, and she's a hb9, we've both said we loved each other after knowing her for 2 years and started meeting and having sex 3 months ago. I sort of left my ex to get with her aswell, and I know she's a bit threatened by my ex because they hate each other and my ex doesn't know its true that I've been with her (I told her it was just rumours then left her)

I speak to her tomorrow night about her being distant and not speaking to me anymore but still going out with her friends etc.
I just want to find out if there's anything left between us, but obviously don't want to ask that. I feel I've been a needy AFC enough to even break NC and call her on this, so I've no idea what to say tomorrow. Do I tell her I'm over her (I'm not) and I can't do it anymore to see what she says? Or what? I'd rather actually do this and ruin everything, than be NC and wonder whether it would of been ok, but I need some help with how to act tomorrow...

 

[GotED?]

I been deputized by Judge Nismo, and you are sentenced to DJ Incarceration for Life on these following violations of the DJ Commandments:


1. Pedestalizing your B!tch

2. Inability to walk away at anytime and afraid to lose the B!tch

3. Breaking NC to the B!tch

4. Losing your balls somewhere while being B!tch slapped shopping in Kohl's

5. Being a Male B!tch with a spiked collar/leash and being taken out for a daily walk in your fooked up mind by the dominant B!tch


Exodus

 

[Zion]

Read only topic title so my response to that is:


Horrible idea.

 

[PoZest]

I been deputized by Judge Nismo, and you are sentenced to DJ Incarceration for Life on these following violations of the DJ Commandments:


1. Pedestalizing your B!tch

2. Inability to walk away at anytime and afraid to lose the B!tch

3. Breaking NC to the B!tch

4. Losing your balls somewhere while being B!tch slapped shopping in Kohl's

5. Being a Male B!tch with a spiked collar/leash and being taken out for a daily walk in your fooked up mind by the dominant B!tch


Exodus

I know haha I was an idiot. So is there any hope for me with this one? Anything I can say/do tomorrow night?
Like I say I'd next her straight away if she hadn't said she was dealing with problems and that she didn't want me to give up on her. But its gone a bit too far now and I'm feeling she's lost IL a bit...

 

[GotED?]

I also have been divorced and has child/ren.

Your feeling of 'inferiority' and 'being damaged goods' having past history as such is entirely all in your mind and self-esteem. Women will sniff that out very quickly if you are radiating low self-image and feelings of inferiority. This is called pedestaling.

It is not easy coming out of a divorce. However, men have it much better when it comes to having child/ren attached from the past. You will just have to work this to your benefit, radiating out an inner depth of confidence that you are more experienced, able to committ (something women complain a lot about men) in a relationship, and good with children.

You however, do not need to be concerned with not being 'good enough' for HB 8' or 9's that have no baggage. You need to be concerned about if they are GOOD ENOUGH for you, that is it. Women typically don't care if you have been divorced or have children (to a degree). It is all about attraction and confidence.

Currently, you have no confidence about yourself or your life situation. It won't happen overnight, but you will have to work on it day by day as I had and women will be chasing you. (hear what I said, have women CHASE you - if they don't, drop them and move on. Never chase.) I personally was in your situation right after coming out of a divorce and had to work hard to overcome my lack of worthiness which is all in my mind - it takes patience.

I have no advice for your current situation - you have already lost your frame and it is most likely unrecoverable. She's lost the spark for you because you undermined your own worthiness. Try better next time. There is ALWAYS better options, just have to learn to say NO to those that don't meet your standards and approval.

Good luck..

Exodus

 

[PoZest]

I also have been divorced and has child/ren.

Your feeling of 'inferiority' and 'being damaged goods' having past history as such is entirely all in your mind and self-esteem. Women will sniff that out very quickly if you are radiating low self-image and feelings of inferiority. This is called pedestaling.

It is not easy coming out of a divorce. However, men have it much better when it comes to having child/ren attached from the past. You will just have to work this to your benefit, radiating out an inner depth of confidence that you are more experienced, able to committ (something women complain a lot about men) in a relationship, and good with children.

You however, do not need to be concerned with not being 'good enough' for HB 8' or 9's that have no baggage. You need to be concerned about if they are GOOD ENOUGH for you, that is it. Women typically don't care if you have been divorced or have children (to a degree). It is all about attraction and confidence.

Currently, you have no confidence about yourself or your life situation. It won't happen overnight, but you will have to work on it day by day as I had and women will be chasing you. (hear what I said, have women CHASE you - if they don't, drop them and move on. Never chase.)

I have no advice for your current situation - you have already lost your frame and it is most likely unrecoverable. She's lost the spark for you because you undermined your own worthiness. Try better next time. There is ALWAYS better options, just have to learn to say NO to those that don't meet your standards and approval.

Good luck..

Exodus

Great advice that is very true, thank you. I was doing the chasing since she became distant and I felt pathetic when she's saying she can't meet up she needs to be alone etc. I went NC for like 3 days and never heard a word from her. So I'm guessing tomorrow night she will probably just say its not working anymore. Maybe I should say it first...

 

[PlayHer Man]

Pay attention because this is important: The second you fear losing a woman is the second you become her slave.

Got it? You can't have power in a relationship where you are AFRAID of losing the girl. It turns you into a b!tch and you lose that masculine attitude of strength and courage that women find so appealing. NO WOMAN WANTS A MAN WHO IS WEAKER THAN HER.

Men need to learn that becoming deeply bonded with a woman EMOTIONALLY is the vary thing that makes her lose respect and attraction for him. A man in love is a weak, passive faggot.

VIDEO --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSq-_NzAps

Women HATE passive faggots.

 

[GotED?]

Pay attention because this is important: The second you fear losing a woman is the second you become her slave.

Got it? You can't have power in a relationship where you are AFRAID of losing the girl. It turns you into a b!tch and you lose that masculine attitude of strength and courage that women find so appealing. NO WOMAN WANTS A MAN WHO IS WEAKER THAN HER.

Men need to learn that becoming deeply bonded with a woman EMOTIONALLY is the vary thing that makes her lose respect and attraction for him. A man in love is a weak, passive faggot.

VIDEO --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSq-_NzAps

Women HATE passive faggots.

HEED THE GOLDEN RULES HERE!

Final comment: You need to understand where hot women mentally work and what they are looking for. If you were a HB9, would you get TIRED of men chasing you, eye-googling you, attention whoring for your attention whoring (hey, double negative, look at that!)??

So you must set yourself apart from rest of the men when working with HB7+. You are currently behaving like the rest of us (LOL!). Only secure and confidence men radiating no-bullsh!t behavior for neediness and desperacy gets HB7+.

Good luck in finding and healing yourself. Come back and post when you have found a woman who actually WANTS you without much emotional investment from yourself at all. That's the right mixture.

Exodus

 

[fuko2007]

Allright man im going to give you a few pointers i have learnes through trial and error. Lots of guys on here will say ghost the ***** and spin plates etc etc and talking is beta and faggy. I myself was where you are about 3 weeks ago and i posted almost the exact same thing. But i went against what everyone else said and did what i thought was right and best for me. Thats alpha " not following the common path everyone WANTS or THINKS you should take. It worked to some degree as in we are working through some things to try and get back on a even playing field. So far so good a few minor detours but moving foward.

I will tell you what i did and you can try and apply it to your case if you choose. I thought about how our relationship was when it first started almost 2 years ago. Sex was awsome all the time we spent time togther but not to much as in to smother each other and everything was great. Then we started to do the 24-7 thing and everything started to slowly go down hill. Then the breakups etc started. Well when we sat down i told her what was bothering me and what i thought needed to be changed inorder to try and work things out and for her to correct me if i was wrong. I wasnt wrong though.

Our 24-7 thing made us nit picky and didnt give us anytime apart to do things on our own. Wich inturn mad work much harder and her job is very stressfull I.E. your girls family issue. Wich effects her sex drive. LACK OF SEX. this mad me feel inscure and made me think that she might be seeing someone else. Wich is a bad thing to have wondering through your head it causes all kinds of problems. And i bet you have been thinking the same thing and it leads to other problems.

But all im trying to say is think about how things were when you first met and how they are now. Figure out what happend to get you here come up with a solution put it on the table and see what she says. Be sincere but dont cry and weep. Stay strong and assertive and get your point across then let her talk. At that point she can pick the ball up if she wants. If not you will have peace of mind and know its over. JUst walk away at that point and start NC . i wish you the best of luck bud and really hope things work out. Seems you really like this girl. Just dont let her play with your emotions. Good luck.

 

[fuko2007]

forgot something...if she does start to mess with your head....do ghost the ***** and do what i did....get laid alot and stop giving a ****. if u live in a small town like i do word will get to her and she will make some form of contact ...but it will be you this time that lays down the hate on her....hooooahhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[j0504s]

The girl I'd been seeing for about 2/3 months went all distant on me (sex stopped for 3 weeks) and I called her on this. Her excuse was that she had issues with her family and was very sad about it. (true) I made her see me to talk, and was just being there for her when she cried and she thanked me for it, but it didn't help and I feel like I've been friend zoned.

Although a month ago she said she never wants to lose me and she loves me and everything, I am not getting the same feelings from her lately. She never texts anymore and I decided to go NC, but I was weak and broke this. She's been hanging out with her friends though and thats what annoys me, she's seemed fine with them but last time I saw her she was crying and upset to me.

I broke NC by texting saying I want to talk to her Tomorrow Night, she said she's not doing anything important and that should be fine.

But I don't know what to say and how to act. I really don't want to just lose her because (I know I shouldn't say this, but) shes the hottest girl I'll ever get, the sex was amazing, I'm a 7, got a baby with an ex, and she's a hb9, we've both said we loved each other after knowing her for 2 years and started meeting and having sex 3 months ago. I sort of left my ex to get with her aswell, and I know she's a bit threatened by my ex because they hate each other and my ex doesn't know its true that I've been with her (I told her it was just rumours then left her)

I speak to her tomorrow night about her being distant and not speaking to me anymore but still going out with her friends etc.
I just want to find out if there's anything left between us, but obviously don't want to ask that. I feel I've been a needy AFC enough to even break NC and call her on this, so I've no idea what to say tomorrow. Do I tell her I'm over her (I'm not) and I can't do it anymore to see what she says? Or what? I'd rather actually do this and ruin everything, than be NC and wonder whether it would of been ok, but I need some help with how to act tomorrow...

my answer to this is literally a copy and paste from a responce a wrote in a thread just a couple minutes ago....


It all goes back to the old snoring story....

Lets say you date soemeone who snores...oneday you just can't take it anymore...you break up....acouple weeks/months later...you make up have sex get back togeather....you goto bed that night you wake up at 3 am to her snoring....

THE PROBLEM NEVER WENT AWAY...so w/e the reason for the initial break up was is going to come back, it wont work out...it is very rare.

good luck though be careful....dont be a b1tch if u do this....dont be afraid to walk away.

 

[PoZest]

Pay attention because this is important: The second you fear losing a woman is the second you become her slave.

Got it? You can't have power in a relationship where you are AFRAID of losing the girl. It turns you into a b!tch and you lose that masculine attitude of strength and courage that women find so appealing. NO WOMAN WANTS A MAN WHO IS WEAKER THAN HER.

Men need to learn that becoming deeply bonded with a woman EMOTIONALLY is the vary thing that makes her lose respect and attraction for him. A man in love is a weak, passive faggot.

VIDEO --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejSq-_NzAps
Women HATE passive faggots.

Very interesting video, I am inspired.
I realised watching this that I've been quite passive towards going out and let her make a lot of decisions. Maybe what has lowered her IL. Do I try to make a stand when I see her tomorrow and just say, this needs to stop I wont put up with this another day. Or act like I don't care either way?

I will tell you what i did and you can try and apply it to your case if you choose. I thought about how our relationship was when it first started almost 2 years ago. Sex was awsome all the time we spent time togther but not to much as in to smother each other and everything was great. Then we started to do the 24-7 thing and everything started to slowly go down hill. Then the breakups etc started. Well when we sat down i told her what was bothering me and what i thought needed to be changed inorder to try and work things out and for her to correct me if i was wrong. I wasnt wrong though.

Our 24-7 thing made us nit picky and didnt give us anytime apart to do things on our own. Wich inturn mad work much harder and her job is very stressfull I.E. your girls family issue. Wich effects her sex drive. LACK OF SEX. this mad me feel inscure and made me think that she might be seeing someone else. Wich is a bad thing to have wondering through your head it causes all kinds of problems. And i bet you have been thinking the same thing and it leads to other problems.

But all im trying to say is think about how things were when you first met and how they are now. Figure out what happend to get you here come up with a solution put it on the table and see what she says. Be sincere but dont cry and weep. Stay strong and assertive and get your point across then let her talk. At that point she can pick the ball up if she wants. If not you will have peace of mind and know its over. JUst walk away at that point and start NC . i wish you the best of luck bud and really hope things work out. Seems you really like this girl. Just dont let her play with your emotions. Good luck.

Thanks for this. It's good to know nexting and NC isn't always the only option, because I'd like to think I can do something about this one before its too late. I didn't feel right doing the NC thing, it had me thinking too much, and I do think I can be strong enough to not seem AFC when I speak to her. I should probably just let her know straight up what I want to change otherwise I'm out. And see what she's got to say. I'm not expecting this to work now anyway I think I've already ruined it. But it will be good to know, and learn from it.

My main issue is the fact that I don't know whether her being distant is down to low IL, or if it is really about her problems mentioned, and I shouldn't have called her on this. But 2 weeks being distant was too much for me and i did feel like I was losing her. I'll see her tomorrow, hopefully I can say something to get the power back.

 

[Die Hard]

Ask yourself what this is about? Why are you going over there, tomorrow? It's about your happiness is it not? Keep that in mind... You want to be happy and you chose to be with her to increase your happiness. You're not with her to make HER happy, that's a secondary concern!

Your own happiness is your primary concern, so act like it! Grab your balls together and go over there to look after your own interests! Just like you do when you go into a business deal or when you go nto a job interview. You're not there to please the other person, you're there to secure your own interests.

She is and has been compromising those interests signficantly, right? No more sex, using you as an emotional tampon, kinda putting you in the friend zone, no more texting, hanging out and being good company to her friends while she is mistreating you. Is this what you expect from a girlfriend? Is this why you got into a relationship with her?

NO!!

You are afraid of losing her and that's why you don't act like a man and don't dare to secure your own interests. But it is kind of defeating the purpose, isn't it? Coz you might as well lose her if she keeps acting like this!! You'd be better off WITHOUT her, compared to being WITH her when she acts like this!

So wipe away this fear of losing her coz it is interfering with your resolve to secure your own interests. Again, simply KEEPING HER AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND is not your objective! Keeping her as a girfriend who makes you happy, THAT is your objective!
You must be clear of your objective, and you must be resolved to act strong and firm in order to achieve that objective.

So no more pvssy attitude, man. Don't go over there with an attitude like she is some mighty queen who has granted you an audience with her so that you can beg her to spare your life. Believe in yourself and in your own dignity! You are a winner, not a loser! And even if she's the best looking girl you ever had, you should know that if you could land such a hot girl once, then you can do it again! It proves that you have what it takes to land hot girls.

I do not own a crystal ball but when I read your story, I'm getting the feeling that might have cheated on you. Perhaps that's the reason why she acts so sad around you, coz she feels the guilt of her cheating behavior weighing on her conscience whenever she is around you...

Imagine that this is true? Imagine that you go over there tomorrow with a weak ***** attitude and she confesses that she has cheated on you? You'll be crushed and will forever remember that conversation as one of the saddest and weakest moments in your life... A moment where all your dignity was taken from you, and you will forever hate yourself for being such a weakling at that time. So go out there as a man, strong and confident in himself, like a warrior going into his final battle.

Whatever the outcome of the conversation, when you look back on it at later times, you should be able to remember that you went in there as a proud man, with his chin up, his chest forward and his back straight! You go there to see what she can do for you, not what you can do for her. If she has nothing to offer, then you kick her to the curb! And if she tells you she cheated on you, then you spit in her face and walk away like a man, instead of starting to cry and asking her why she has been so cruel to you, boo-hoo-hoo...

Don't let anything bring you down, you are the man! You're the man now, you'll be the man during that conversation, and you'll still be the man after that conversation. Good luck and give us an update after tomorrow night!

 

[plate's_empty]

She's feeling down and needs a pick me up. Easiest way to do that is to set up a date with you then flake. Instant burst of endorphins for her.

 

[PoZest]

Ask yourself what this is about? Why are you going over there, tomorrow? It's about your happiness is it not? Keep that in mind... You want to be happy and you chose to be with her to increase your happiness. You're not with her to make HER happy, that's a secondary concern!

Your own happiness is your primary concern, so act like it! Grab your balls together and go over there to look after your own interests! Just like you do when you go into a business deal or when you go nto a job interview. You're not there to please the other person, you're there to secure your own interests.

She is and has been compromising those interests signficantly, right? No more sex, using you as an emotional tampon, kinda putting you in the friend zone, no more texting, hanging out and being good company to her friends while she is mistreating you. Is this what you expect from a girlfriend? Is this why you got into a relationship with her?

NO!!

You are afraid of losing her and that's why you don't act like a man and don't dare to secure your own interests. But it is kind of defeating the purpose, isn't it? Coz you might as well lose her if she keeps acting like this!! You'd be better off WITHOUT her, compared to being WITH her when she acts like this!

So wipe away this fear of losing her coz it is interfering with your resolve to secure your own interests. Again, simply KEEPING HER AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND is not your objective! Keeping her as a girfriend who makes you happy, THAT is your objective!
You must be clear of your objective, and you must be resolved to act strong and firm in order to achieve that objective.

So no more pvssy attitude, man. Don't go over there with an attitude like she is some mighty queen who has granted you an audience with her so that you can beg her to spare your life. Believe in yourself and in your own dignity! You are a winner, not a loser! And even if she's the best looking girl you ever had, you should know that if you could land such a hot girl once, then you can do it again! It proves that you have what it takes to land hot girls.

I do not own a crystal ball but when I read your story, I'm getting the feeling that might have cheated on you. Perhaps that's the reason why she acts so sad around you, coz she feels the guilt of her cheating behavior weighing on her conscience whenever she is around you...

Imagine that this is true? Imagine that you go over there tomorrow with a weak ***** attitude and she confesses that she has cheated on you? You'll be crushed and will forever remember that conversation as one of the saddest and weakest moments in your life... A moment where all your dignity was taken from you, and you will forever hate yourself for being such a weakling at that time. So go out there as a man, strong and confident in himself, like a warrior going into his final battle.

Whatever the outcome of the conversation, when you look back on it at later times, you should be able to remember that you went in there as a proud man, with his chin up, his chest forward and his back straight! You go there to see what she can do for you, not what you can do for her. If she has nothing to offer, then you kick her to the curb! And if she tells you she cheated on you, then you spit in her face and walk away like a man, instead of starting to cry and asking her why she has been so cruel to you, boo-hoo-hoo...

Don't let anything bring you down, you are the man! You're the man now, you'll be the man during that conversation, and you'll still be the man after that conversation. Good luck and give us an update after tomorrow night!

I smiled reading through all of this. Great. True aswell, my attitude needs to be right when I speak to her. For me. I'll be sure to post what happens tomorrow night.

She's feeling down and needs a pick me up. Easiest way to do that is to set up a date with you then flake. Instant burst of endorphins for her.

I have a feeling she may flake too, and that will be it. But I hope she doesn't, even if the result isn't good. Still unsure whether or not to question her motives for being distant, or if it would be better to just say, look, this is what I want from you from now.

Thanks for the replies everyone

 

[Megaman XIV]

This is betatude cubed!

Don't act you have something to lose when you get a girl.

Get equipped.

 

[plate's_empty]

I have a feeling she may flake too, and that will be it. But I hope she doesn't, even if the result isn't good. Still unsure whether or not to question her motives for being distant, or if it would be better to just say, look, this is what I want from you from now.

Guess there's only one way to find out. At the very least you're prepared, and ready for whatever outcome.

Godspeed.

 

[BrownBear]

Stupid sh!t, go there and tell her you have dumped her

 

[PoZest]

I know guys, I did it all wrong. That's why I'm asking for help, I'm inexperienced. I have 2 hours now until I see her. If she doens't flake...

 

[expos]

Get over there man and rip **** up. Act like a MAN. Get ALPHA and lay down the goddamn fvckin' law.

You want her respect? Treat her like garbage. Every opportunity you get...act above her.