I broke all the "rules" and now....

[Pac_Man]

to hpnotiq

Honestly in the back of my mind I'm having those same exact thoughts but this is a week after this girl tells me she "doesn't" want to be exclusive. Then I decided to this "experiment," then everything changed. But yeah honestly that thought's been on my mind as well. Yeah I'm in the same boat as you we never did go all the way but everytime I think about giving her up or nexting her she would call me and I would be back in her "little circle" so to speak. I'm so confused about this relationship but partly I am to blame because I make it seem like I don't care but care you know?

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Pac_Man
LoL what's funny about this girl (who is a white blond girl btw) is that she always tells me that out of all the guys that she's been she feels safest with me but you know what you're right being a nice guy, it's programmed in my brain I cannot in the life of me help it.

I have no brothers, I have 4 sisters, I'm the only boy and youngest at that. My sisters pretty much raised me, my dad doesn't really say much or we don't get along so much but I get along better with my mom.

I had to honestly compensate by joining football in high school and becoming a powerlifter and eventually a bodybuilder. I'm not huge but I'm about 5'10 190 pounds but because my waist is so small (29 inches) I look like a huge dude. My size is just a front for me and at first impression when people see me they think I'm an arrogant a$$hole but when they talk to me they are surprised at how nice I am.

What do you think about a white blond girl with an asian man??Honestly I'm also insecure about something like this. Like I always sometimes think I'm not good enough for her and I don't understand why she even calls me considering her past b/f have been white guys, blond hair, blue eyes type and here's me, an asian guy.

But seriously I'm afraid to MAN UP because I feel I already exude that aura and I might scare people even more but it's just when people interact with me they change their attitudes.

Jesus Christ. What on earth is THIS? You're 190 pounds of solid PU$$Y. Come on, now....


Seriously bro, you sound like a good catch to me. You're in good shape, you can hold your own against threats, you're a considerate gentle guy within the context of an LTR... you're golden.


It also sounds like you've never been with a non-Asian girl before. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD. Most whitegirls will give a non-white guy a fighting chance, as long as he measures up to her standards. We don't live in the Jim Crow era Deep South anymore - interracial dating is COMMON, and very well tolerated, overall. I see white girls with all races of men - black, Latin, white, and lately - more and more Asian men. It's all good - whiteboys have been mounting yellow chicks since the days of yester-year - now they get to sit back and watch tha Asian men mount the whitegirls.


And you keep yapping about how you're "afraid" of hurting her (emotionall or physically) since you're so strong and intimidating. That's CRAP. Whitegirls are *notorious* for being able to take the most abuse. I'm dead serious! Have you seen the way some white guys treat their women? It's astounding! Or the way that some black guys treat white girls like dogs or sexual conquests that totally negate their humanity? I know for a fact that most Asian girls (except self-haters with no self-respect) would NEVER tolerate this - but whitegirls have a much higher tolerance for abuse! This is an unspoken rule amongst non-white guys that have experienced white girls - we can usually get away with more than we could have within our ethnic groups. Just ask any black, Asian or Latino who has been with a whitegirl. You need to realize that your whitegirl is probably a lot hardier than you think - she's probably taken a helluva lot of crap from her white exes, and what you can throw at her pales in comparison. So stop being such a paranoid moron. Just do it.



Ideally what you have to do though, is fvck her ASAP. I might sound like I'm morphing into our resident Asian PUA 'JT 93451', but it is imperative that you give this girl a sexual mindframe thru which she sees you. The only way to do that is to get sexual with her. At least get her naked and give each other head. If you don't, you will soon become a 'dyck in a glass jar' to her.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Originally posted by jakethasnake

.... It's all good - whiteboys have been mounting yellow chicks since the days of yester-year - now they get to sit back and watch tha Asian men mount the whitegirls.

PREACH ON JAKE...PREACH ON!

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Pac_Man
to hpnotiq

Honestly in the back of my mind I'm having those same exact thoughts but this is a week after this girl tells me she "doesn't" want to be exclusive. Then I decided to this "experiment," then everything changed. But yeah honestly that thought's been on my mind as well. Yeah I'm in the same boat as you we never did go all the way but everytime I think about giving her up or nexting her she would call me and I would be back in her "little circle" so to speak. I'm so confused about this relationship but partly I am to blame because I make it seem like I don't care but care you know?

Oh, I see. Things are becoming more clear to me now. I hope you don't have one-itis for this girl, because you could potentially be the 'ethnic fling' that some whitegirls like to have between serious relationships or before marriage. You know, the "try tha different flavas" deal. If this is the case, you need to do the standard DJ/ASF **** - starting dating/fvcking multiple girls, and dont' hide the fact that you are (but don't tell, either - if she asks just be truthful). I think that if her IL is high, she will start jocking you harder and harder if you do this - Asian girls are usually repulsed by this, but WHITE GIRLS LOVE IT. Their cultural conditioning make them drawn to **** that is fvcked up (by our conservative Asian cultural standards).

 

[Pac_Man]

What I mean by "everything changed" i mean that it changed for the good, she never really opened up to me before or never acted like this before.

BUt you know what though? You could be right about the ethnic fling thing cause like I said her past b/f have been like abercrombie & fitch wearing white dudes (not that there's anything wrong with that or anything). I asked her about this and she said that she likes every type of guys but she said she could never see herself with a black guy.

Also when she told me about "not being exclusive" we were both kind of drunk and we went to a gym where it had a hot tub there and snuck in a vodka spiked dole tropicana. It was her idea to sneak that in there not mine cause I don't drink that much. It was just her spur of the moment (she has a lot of those) ideas to go in the hot tub and get drunk.

But I was not drunk enough and there were too many people in the pool/tub and it was 1 o'clock in the morning and still many people. With that many people it killed hers and mines buzz and we just left and she took me (she was driving) in the back of a kmart or something to talk. before we left to go to the back of the kmart she was pissing me off talking about this other guy she's "Kinda" dating. And I was like "get rid of him and just go out with me." And that's when she said she didn't want to be exclusive. How confusing is this crap?? She started talking about her ex b/f really hurt her and it's hard for her to open up to anybody. I told her how freaking confusing she is and I don't understand her. I was just pretty much venting. And I was talking some more and she wasn't really talking so I'm like let's just go home and we left.

Couple days later I tried the afc way cause I was tired of it and if I was gonna go down I was gonna go down acting like an overmushed puppy. So the rest is history, her attitude changed toward me, she was more sweet and open towards me.

Jake I wish I had your attitude or I wouldn't have this problem. It takes time I suppose. I need a good kick in the ass sometimes, maybe all time? :-(

What does BUMP mean in posts? And I looked in the site but what does oneitis mean also?

 

[Pac_Man]

Also another thing Jake you're absolutely right she's the first white girl I've been with. The rest were asian.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Bump - Means that the thread will automatically go back to the top of the BB so more people will read it or see it.

One-itis - The dreaded disease men carry when they think the girl is 'THE ONE'. The man has symptoms of AFCism, thinks about her all the time, calls her all the time, pedistals her, kisses her a**, pretty much loses his DJ ways because he untimately thinks she's the only woman in the world for him...

 

[squirrels]

Brokes all the rules of what? Proper paragraph format?

Have you had sex with this girl yet?

 

[edgewater]

I'm not expert on this **** bro, but sure enough she's opened up to you, so much that she's telling you about her relationship problems. Congratulations, you're her best friend.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by Pac_Man


Also when she told me about "not being exclusive" we were both kind of drunk and we went to a gym where it had a hot tub there and snuck in a vodka spiked dole tropicana. It was her idea to sneak that in there not mine cause I don't drink that much. It was just her spur of the moment (she has a lot of those) ideas to go in the hot tub and get drunk.

But I was not drunk enough and there were too many people in the pool/tub and it was 1 o'clock in the morning and still many people. With that many people it killed hers and mines buzz and we just left and she took me (she was driving) in the back of a kmart or something to talk. before we left to go to the back of the kmart she was pissing me off talking about this other guy she's "Kinda" dating. And I was like "get rid of him and just go out with me." And that's when she said she didn't want to be exclusive. How confusing is this crap?? She started talking about her ex b/f really hurt her and it's hard for her to open up to anybody. I told her how freaking confusing she is and I don't understand her. I was just pretty much venting. And I was talking some more and she wasn't really talking so I'm like let's just go home and we left.

It sounds like you're hanging off her every word and hinging all your happiness on her decisions. ONE-ITIS. AFC. You've failed - I think that overall it's best that you move on. I hope this doesn't sound prejudiced, but the great majority of white girls are FVCKED UP. They do only follow what makes them feel good - consequences be damned. Asian girls are a bit different in that they will be more conscious about how the guy will make them look in front of others, if he has long term potential, etc... White girls on the other hand just go with what makes them feel "good" - excited, horny, dirty, etc. This is why they stay in weird relationshps despite the abuse, go for weirdos more often than Asian girls do, etc.


My personal philosophy is that nothing gets a white girl's panties wetter faster than treating her with mild contempt. Treat her like a Princess, she will recoil like you're crazy - in her mind, she is not worth the gum on the bottom of her shoe. She feels weirded out that a man could think that highly of her - it's indicative of her self-image/self-esteem. If you treat her like a tramp/pest/airhead - watch her eye light up with delight. She has finally someone who will treat her at the level she *wants* to be treated, and she is delighted. Try this next time, you'll know what I mean.

Originally posted by Pac_Man

Couple days later I tried the afc way cause I was tired of it and if I was gonna go down I was gonna go down acting like an overmushed puppy. So the rest is history, her attitude changed toward me, she was more sweet and open towards me.

"More sweet ane open"? I hope you were referring to her puzzy. If not, then you're probably in the 'friends' zone. Most bytches will only open up under two conditions:


1) If the guy is 'safe', like you. He is a dyck in a glass jar, the male to which she can open up without worrying about spreading her legs.


2) If it's the guy she is fvcking and WANTS to fvck, and on top of that she finds you trustworthy. This shows mad respect - it's the ideal situation. You haven't achieved this, by the way.

 

[Alen-Delon]

dude you have one major problem.... you are puting on shows for her not showing what you really are forget all the DJ bullsh*t be yourself... to open a door for women and tell her shes looking good is only gonna do you good not bad and its tha way everyman should act.... dont try to be something your not.... when you stop the Djing BS and basicly showed that you cared and you liked this girl and another words opened up she felt the same way and it gave the positive affect on the relationship of two of you... but when you try to play the games like your some Fu*king pimp or whatever she built a wall by hiding her emoitions and all and she was playing game it was like to negative mocelcules colaiding.... you gotta to remamber that your are the man .... be yourself not someone you arent, or never be.....

Cheers and good luck!

 

[Pac_Man]

Thanks for the advice all, godd@mn it's hard not to be an afc!!

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Couple of points.

She gave you the "I don't want to be exclusive" speech after she wanted to have sex in the hottub and you were too chicken. This is a classic female reaction to getting sexually rejected when they are making it very easy for you.

And are you having sex?

Third, one week is nowhere near enough time to gauge a girlfriends' reaction to your new moves. When you break the rules, you will pay the price.

Some women really do want an AFC boyfriend. Your's doesn't. Since she's stayed with you for about a year, what makes you think she didn't actually like the way you were before.

 

[Avsguy01]

I believe here its all about the mindset. Of course there are techiques that you can pick up but, those really tend to make you stray away from who you really are. The most important thing to do is to be yourself. That will make you the happiest. Then you can learn techniques and create a mindset. Something that starts to take over subconsiously so it will allow you're outside true self to remain the same yet be aware of what can be a blow to attracting and keeping a girl.

It seems that techniques on this board are used to basically pick up as many chicks and score with them as possible from many people who post on this board. Thats all fine and dandy but if your not that kind of person then why would you change? I came close to changing myself then i just ran into my current girlfriend. I am comfortable, happy, and being satisfied in every aspect. Im glad i didnt change, but then again im glad i learned some things and applied them mentually.

As stressed many times its important to be your own person, have your own life, and try to have certain hobbies that can keep you busy while at times you arent with a certain someone or attracting females what ever it may be. Have fun, and just go with the flow!

 

[AMF]

Originally posted by jakethasnake
I hope this doesn't sound prejudiced, but the great majority of white girls are FVCKED UP. They do only follow what makes them feel good - consequences be damned.

I'm afraid you do sound prejudiced, Jake. And reliant on generalizations free of any scientific or logical basis.

If I myself were to generalize, I might be ignorant enough to claim all Asians spend alot of their time generalizing about perceived racial difference and preaching about perceived racial injustice.

 

[Vini Vidi Vici]

Originally posted by Pac_Man
I think jakethesnake maybe on to something because physically I'm very very intimidating, imagine a very big and muscular japanese guy. I've been told I look like a "thug" or whatever you want to call it and people always joke about not wanting to get in a fight with me. Not very many japanese guys are big or asian guys in general so maybe you're right. Maybe it's the fact that I have the mindset of an afc and if I used most of the dj principles it would make me literally be a jerk because I'm already physically intimidating.
But in all honesty I am a very nice guy or an afc at heart. This girl has even accused me of maybe just being nice and putting an act for her that maybe I'm really a bad guy even though I really am a nice guy. And me acting all mushy seems like I'm showing a different side to her that I'm only showing her even though I really am a nice guy. Hmmm I don't know. Does that make sense gents?

That makes perfect sense pal. I do believe the fact that you look like a "thug" and behave so "sweet" puts some mystery in you and that`s what pulled her trigger. Who wouldn`t want to date such a sweet yakuza guy?

 

[Sardaukar]

Guys, it took you two pages to realise that this guy has one-itis.

Whenever I hear about a guy who's having a turbulent relationship with a girl, the first thing that I ask is, what about the other girls? When a guy has a turbulent, see-saw relationship with a woman it is usually the mark of obsession.

 

[jakethasnake]

Originally posted by AMF
I'm afraid you do sound prejudiced, Jake. And reliant on generalizations free of any scientific or logical basis.

If I myself were to generalize, I might be ignorant enough to claim all Asians spend alot of their time generalizing about perceived racial difference and preaching about perceived racial injustice.

Yeah, I apologize. I'm sorry.

 

[Pac_Man]

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways
Couple of points.

She gave you the "I don't want to be exclusive" speech after she wanted to have sex in the hottub and you were too chicken. This is a classic female reaction to getting sexually rejected when they are making it very easy for you.

And are you having sex?

Third, one week is nowhere near enough time to gauge a girlfriends' reaction to your new moves. When you break the rules, you will pay the price.

Some women really do want an AFC boyfriend. Your's doesn't. Since she's stayed with you for about a year, what makes you think she didn't actually like the way you were before.

Man I'm so freaking clueless when it comes to women. A girl'd have to hit me in the head if I think the girl wants to have sex with me. And no we haven't had sex yet. :-( Do you honestly think she wanted to have sex though? I really don't know I just thought she just liked to see what it's like to do something crazy (like drinking alcohol) in a public place. I really doubt she wanted to have sex with me then.

Hell, honestly women didn't start noticing me till I started getting cut up a year and a half ago. I was always big. Before I used to weigh 270 like one of those powerlifter guys. Fat and muscle. After I lost the fat but retained the muscle that's when women started noticing me, but I think my mindset is still the same as when I was 270. I'm 190 now. Even now I can tell if women notice me or talk to me but I was such an ugly duckling for so long that to this day I still can't believe it.

 

[#1 P.I.M.P.]

Dude, u sound just like me. I used to be like 220 fat, now i'm 205 riped about 10% BF. The thing is I know I'm the ****. I hve lots of girl that would love to be my girl rigt now but I knw what I want and It's not them. I have somone I 'm intrested in right now, call it oneitis or what, but I'm a man who know what he wants. I work damn hard evry day to look good and make alot of money so I'll be damed if I don't have what I want, It part of being a man. But the point is tat the guys are saying don't stop being a challenge. If the girl senses that your all lover her and that u don't even have any other options she'll get ****ey and think she's better than u. I remember this one instance at this party this girl I suposedly have oneitis for was there as well as a few other of my love intrest, I was limeing outside and one of the girls who liked me came out and sat with me to chat. Well suposed oneitis came out, she paused for a whle and looked at us, then went back to her busness, u could tel that she ws jealous, well later that night she was all over me complimenting me on my dancing. Funny what a little bit of jeaousy could do . So I guys what I'm saying is keep her IL high, don't loose out on making new female friends just cause your with her, girls often judge your attractiveness by how manny women are attracted to you, sadly but true . So keep Djin other women, If this girl is your GF then don't leave her or cheat on her but show her you got game and as soon as you she leaves the train there will be other passengers waitin to take up her front seat.

-good Luck-