I broke all the "rules" and now....

[Pac_Man]

I have been a challenge, and the way me and this girl met, it was a party my friend let's call him Ben (Ben was really good friends with her and wanted to be something more.) invited me to and she suddenly sat on my lap and tried to seduce me, While I was sitting there dumbfounded cause my friend was sitting right across looking at us.

I didn't do anything wrong I even told her to stop. I rejected her because my friend liked her and she called me the next day to "apologize" for the way she acted the night before (sitting on my lap, licking my neck, biting my ears,tickling me) she didn't want me to think that I thought she was a slut or whatever, then she kept calling me inviting me to other parties (my friend was already mad at me about what happened and stopped being my friend).

THen when we started going out she was like a different person and we got along really well, she wasn't the confident girl at the party. Come to think of it, I don't even think I put any real moves on this girl (maybe some kino) when we started going out, there was always stuff in the way every time I even thought about making a move on her.

Hell one day we we were walking along some park and she was in a bad mood for some reason and there was this mascot bear or whatever entertaining the kids, I don't know why but she waited in line to hug the bear with the kids and when she finally hugged the bear she says to me "I just wanted to hug something." And I'm thinking to myself "HELLO!!! I'm right here!!" what the hell??! Right?? I don't get it either.

After that I just stopped contact with her and just stopped calling her cause nothing ever happened, there was no closure or anything I just wanted to move on I nexted her. Two months later she calls me up out of a blue moon saying she said she thinks she forgot her scarf or something in my car and then she said she misses me and wants to hang out with me. One day she came over to my work and brought over a slice of chocolate cake that she made while on a way to a movie with her "friend" John (he was in the car waiting outside) looking all hot and sexy.
John was another one of her "friends" cause apparently all her friends are guys. If I looked at him and judged him on looks I don't see him as a threat but this girl sure makes me feel like it is. God.

And I'm just thinking "Godammit, what do you want from me?? You trying to torture me or something?? Showing up in my work so ridiculously good while on a way on a date with your 'friend?'"

Then she tells me to call her and I never did, but she'd keep calling asking me why I don't call her I'm just like "I don't know." I wasn't mean, and I wasn't friendly. She makes plans herself to hang out with me the next week. I, the afc that I am, go and hang out with her and we started going out again for two months, while still in the same situation before, where nothing happened. I'm ready to next her again Then I went with the mushy attitude and she was or seemed to like me being mushy on her. Thoughts gents?

 

[Pac_Man]

And that's how the first post of this subject came about.

 

[Pac_Man]

bump

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Bro...drop this chick...for your own mental sake.

For real bro...you've spent the past 3-4 days thinking about it, analyzing it, asking for advice...and in the end of it all, you're still confused about this chick.

I think we should add a new rule to the DJB. If a chick has your head twisted, and is making you rationalize/analyze what you do, say, or act around her for more then 3 days...and she's not your LTR GF, then I think that is cause for an official NEXT.

Its not healthy bro. It just seems that you'll never find the answer that will satisfy the questions you raise on this thread. And, if you are lucky enough to bed this girl and have her turn into an LTR, I don't see you having much respect for her after the way she's treating you now. I almost guarantee if you sleep with her, that, you'll get tired of her really quickly. Its reverse DJism that she's doing to you. In your mind, she's the challenge.

IMO - kick her off the freggin pedistal. Start off fresh. Find a chica that doesn't put you through all these snares, traps, tests, and pit-falls.

In the end...you know in your gut...she wont be worth it.

 

[KiInCollege]

You suspect that your afc behavior has appealed to her, but was the move really in your best interest? You have more of her attention now, but is it the right type?

It would be more reassuring if you two became officially exclusive, or started having sex regularly. All I've read is that she has bumped up her sensitivity level to match yours. She might just be an attention ho. She may reward your new afc attention with motivating gestures, but in the end, has anything really changed?

I.e. Exclusivity or sex?

In an LTR, you can become lax on being a challenge and do more thoughtful things for your girl. I wouldn't call this afc, just giving in a little to what you want to share with her. But, the LTR means exclusivity and sex. Without these, during an early stage like dating, you're just the begging "puppy."

Either way, I hope things turn out good for you.

 

[Livingitup22]

Honestly, Pac, you have a case of oneitis, albeit a mild one

You were initally correct to be more "romantic" , but you cannot forget the basic DJ principles. She sounds like a bit of a brick wall. Some of these women are completely out of their minds, some are reasonable ladies waiting for a solid man, but most of them are women of so-so character offering so-so relationships.
I will leave it to you to decide what category your girlfriend falls into, but try to keep in mind that she seems to have you partially hooked. This stage is the one where many men fall victim to empty promises and lukewarm affection. Do not be that man.

Step, back for a moment and reevaluate this woman and what your looking for.

 

[Sardaukar]

Pacman

Dude, I'm gonna make it really easy for you.

It sounds like you're hanging off her every word and hinging all your happiness on her decisions. ONE-ITIS.

You keep complaining about how though it is to be un-AFC, but I suspect you don't really know what it is to be successful with women either.

To decide how you should act, you must first decide what you want from women. Lots of guys are simple. We want to fukk hot bodies, no more, no less. Other guys are looking for stable, meaningful LTRs as they define it. You confused acting aloof with being DJ. I didn't see you putting on the sexual tension for even a moment. Do you even know how to do that?

Now this chick that you're having one-itis over. It's an obsession. It's keeping you from meeting simpler women. It's not about whether your fukking AFC behaviour brings results, but I know that's a fantasy a he-***** like you will like to assume. Wake up and smell the roses; they still smell like Boo Hoo Hoo. She is an attention *****, and she is MILKING you for all you've got except your semen because she knows you are obsessed over her.

 

[Dirtheart]

Maybe it wasn't the AFC behaviour that worked, but your unpredictability.

You suddenly went from being distant to being warm and mushy. You took her by surprise and gave her a little emotional thrill. Women thrive on these thrills.

Once she gets used to the AFC/mushy side of you, then you need to withdraw it and become distant with her again. Just keep mixing it up, keep her on her feet and above all don't let yourself or your relationship become predictable and boring.