I bought a car and she's pissed

[firstbornunicorn]

What course did she buy?

 

[zekko]

$700? Thought you were going to say 20k plus, in which case I could understand her concern.

Maybe she's upset because she wanted him to buy a nicer car

Seriously, if she views selling her car as some sort of punishment, she's only punishing herself.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

"Why have you ruined something great that we've built up over 6 years?"
"Are you really choosing a car over your family?"
"I invested my money to be able to earn more money!"

Do you have kids?



This women needs to be educated about the error of her ways.
You have to take action and it might get ugly for some time, but if you dont "man up" now, you will be in this unacceptable situation forever.

1st lesson for her: Your money is YOUR money, her money is HER money, except from shared costs, YOUR money is none of her fukking business. Good on her she earns more money now, but you dont care.

2nd lesson for her: Shared costs mean 50/50, not a Penny more from your side.

3rd lesson for her: What you do in your spare time (fixing an old car f.e.) is not to be judged by her, as long as she doesnt catch you with another woman (or man).

 

[Mike32ct]

Maybe she's upset because she wanted him to buy a nicer car

Haha.

No, it’s all because it’s a “project” car. What she is hearing is “money pit” due to the cost to restore it and/or she assumes that he won’t finish it and they’ll be stuck with a clunker on the property.

I fully support hobbies/projects btw. Just speculating on how she might be viewing this.

 

[zekko]

No, it’s all because it’s a “project” car. What she is hearing is “money pit” due to the cost to restore it and/or she assumes that he won’t finish it and they’ll be stuck with a clunker on the property.

Doing mechanical work is a masculine pursuit (well, it used to be, anyway). You'd think she'd find it attractive. Unfortunately, it sounds like she's put him in that box in her head where guys don't generally want to be, where she thinks he's on her leash.

 

[bat soup]

Hey!

I just bought a very nice Volvo S80 that is going to be my project in the months ahead and as I was expecting, she got really annoyed and pissed off when I got home.

I tried to be logical with her (yeah, I know it doesn't work with wahmen) by telling her about her investment just the other day. She shelled out €1000 on an online course and my car was ~€700.

I have to honestly say that I feel terrible for putting myself first as it's the first time in a long time that I've done it. Shaking and thinking about ways I can "make it right" with her. Then I remind myself to not be a simp and stand my ground. Having a personality disorder doesn't help either, but I'm working through this.

She's going to be in this mood for quite a while and I really don't know how I'm "supposed" to behave in these situations. I just wanted something to do besides sitting at home all day. Don't have much money, but I'll work on it over time to fix it up, remove the rust and clean it up as best I can.

Do I let her sulk?
Do I try to talk to her?
Do I just keep doing my thing no matter what?

Any insights is appreciated.

Take the car back to the dealership and exchange it for a bus. That will show her!

 

[flowtheory]

Seriously, if she views selling her car as some sort of punishment, she's only punishing herself.

Not so actually. She’s selling her car to make his new purchase the FAMILY car. So it’s no longer his personal ride or space, it’s hers and the kids. She’s taking away his autonomy.

She’s playing chess and she doesn’t like him doing what he wants on his terms. He will be falling back in to her frame just by her existing.
She owns him.

The only way to get any power back is for him to literally leave or simply not care at all about anything she says or really does. which won’t happen probably, because he's happy HE got to kiss HER goodnight after she acted up! He’s been 6 years of SIMPING HARD - That will be damn near impossible for him to reverse and still have her being supportive for him.

For his life and overall personal actualization... I would say the best thing would actually be for him to walk away and get divorced. Sadly. This woman exacerbated his negative view about himself. That or he needs to spend a lot of time away from her.
She’s his judge , jury, and executioner.

 

[King Lion]

Take the car back to the dealership and exchange it for a bus. That will show her!

Better yet - He should exchange her for another woman, leave and not go back - That will really show her!

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

This isn't really a good look for you honestly

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Look in bold above for just an example of what I might've said but everyone is different in how they respond or handle a situation.

The feminism movement and weakening of males has really taught females how to control money that isn't even theirs unfortunately.

And men

 

[BMX]

$700? Thought you were going to say 20k plus, in which case I could understand her concern.

OP is a troll.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why have you been in a LTR for 6 years and not married? Are you of advanced age (60+)?

 

[Desdinova]

I would say the best thing would actually be for him to walk away and get divorced. Sadly.

A multitude of interactions like this might work in his favor:

Him: I took a break from fixing my car to see if you'd want to go for a fun walk in the park and then maybe have some fun afterwards (kissing her on the back of the neck)
Her: I'm not in the mood
Him: Okay, I'll go back and rebuild the transmission. Love you! (leaves and closes the door)

The problem is, being a simp for a lengthy period of time has her conditioned to deal with a simp for a companion. People generally don't like change even if it's for the positive. There is a small chance, but he'll need to avoid caving to her demands when she wants them and instead expect her to cater to his demands when he wants them. She needs to be on his terms, not the other way around.

 

[bat soup]

Not so actually. She’s selling her car to make his new purchase the FAMILY car. So it’s no longer his personal ride or space, it’s hers and the kids. She’s taking away his autonomy.

She’s playing chess and she doesn’t like him doing what he wants on his terms. He will be falling back in to her frame just by her existing.
She owns him.

The only way to get any power back is for him to literally leave or simply not care at all about anything she says or really does. which won’t happen probably, because he's happy HE got to kiss HER goodnight after she acted up! He’s been 6 years of SIMPING HARD - That will be damn near impossible for him to reverse and still have her being supportive for him.

For his life and overall personal actualization... I would say the best thing would actually be for him to walk away and get divorced. Sadly. This woman exacerbated his negative view about himself. That or he needs to spend a lot of time away from her.
She’s his judge , jury, and executioner.

When a woman is leading, something is wrong.

 

[King Lion]

A multitude of interactions like this might work in his favor:

Him: I took a break from fixing my car to see if you'd want to go for a fun walk in the park and then maybe have some fun afterwards (kissing her on the back of the neck)
Her: I'm not in the mood
Him: Okay, I'll go back and rebuild the transmission. Love you! (leaves and closes the door)

The problem is, being a simp for a lengthy period of time has her conditioned to deal with a simp for a companion. People generally don't like change even if it's for the positive. There is a small chance, but he'll need to avoid caving to her demands when she wants them and instead expect her to cater to his demands when he wants them. She needs to be on his terms, not the other way around.

Well stated....Unfortunately the die has been cast - He has been a simp for too long, and she has been addicted to the power she wields over him.

OP, put that b*tch on notice - in no uncertain terms - that you will do what you want with your money, and being a taxi for her is not going to be a part of your agenda!

IOW, put a blast/charge in her azz and she just might become so surprised and impressed with your new found masculine energy, that she will look at you with trepidation, respect and wonder; which may lead to desire for you!

The Rest Is Up To You.