I asked her out guyz!

[wudiez]

HEy guyz, well this gurl that i've been seeing for quite a while... and got a bit physical with... like hugging.. handholding etc... It actually got up to the point, where she was asking me what i wanted.... which i didn't answer.. coz i wussed out....
Well a week passed and with in that week... she started acting as if she wasn't intersted bla bla.. reluctant to see me.. just talk'n to other friends as if i wasn't even there... etc..etc.. and!

I finally grew some balls and asked her out... Told her exactly how i felt and what i wanted out of our relationship...

She said a number of things in response... like either to test me or wateva...
" would u ever cheat on a gurl"
"when you get a gurl friend, gurls notice you more.. and how would u handle that would you just snob them all off or.."
"and do you think we make a good couple.."
"You always have gurls around you.. it makes me feel abit insecure"...

THen she came out with the biggest BS line ever like "I honestly think you could do so much better". Come on guyz you gotta hate that..

But the thing is this gurl is extremely hot.. like really attractive, she's got guyz check'n her out all the time... What puzzles me.. is she says these things as if I'm outta her league... but then her body language and the way she's been acting lately is as if... she's not that interested anymore, like yer.. play'n hard to get...

Is this gurl just insecure?? Or just try'n to let me off in a way that's not so harsh...

basically when i asked her out.. she said it's not a no. and it's not a yes.... and that one of her major reasons is that she's not looking for a boyfriend right now... which i think is bs.. coz a week before she seemed pretty damn eager...

So I'm just waiting to see what happens, like she's for conceiling and if i dont bring the subject up.. she wont.. i still care about her.. but yer I'm not clingy so... i only msg her like evri second day to show i care or see how she is and call her now and again....


like i'm not too entirely sure of how to handle this situation... im kinda just letting things happen.. and whateva she decides i'll support her... but yer.. i feel really strongly towards this gurl... like i really care about her... not coz i want her body.. ;p but yer i am ready to commit to this and give alot to make the relatinoship work...

But yer.. wadda you guyz think of this situation??

 

[TooColdUlrick]

i think u should go to the high school forum. u have a lot to learn.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

If you write girl, "gurl" one more time I'm going to phone someone to go break your balls, with a SLEDGEHAMMER....

if you add inn any more guy_z_, COZ, whadda or more bull**** like that I'm going to have your fingers broken too...


We try to stay mature and helpfull here but crap like that is just too far out...


You shouldn't have told her what you felt, you should have asked her out or escalated. Only time will tell, don't be desperate or needy or she'll flake on you.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Yeah, you f*cked up pretty bad by telling her how you felt.

Don't worry man, it has happened to the best of us. Next her and try again with a different girl.

 

[wudiez]

I f**ked up.. well it's not like i have absolutely no chance with her... What I'm planning to do from now on... is call her no an again... not often.. to not seem like a clingy wuss... n whenever i see her... just talk abit then let her off... like give her, her space n stuff.... what's F**ked is she's got a bunch of Ganster wannabe friends that... give her **** about this stuff.. which puts preasure on her... it's like "Oh some guy likes you" and laugh in her face... she's still young so she's naive and just laugh's back...

But it's true i do have a lot to learn... but I dont see this situation as impossible... like most guys just give up and move on... I'll still see other girls like get on with my life, with out completely "NEXTING HER"..

But what I'm still puzzled about is why she asked me all those questions... Does anyone have any idea... ?? Or all you guys out there.. just like F**k it move on... get another girl....

I dunno, but to me, moving on and nexting a girl just seems like an easy way out..

 

[mikel]

When she asked you what you wanted, you should've told her. I think that is where you ****ed it up.

When she said you could do way better, I think she was just letting you down easy.

 

[fezz]

her IL seems low. If she said no to you then she means no. Go to another girl. And most of all, watch her actions. If she isnt interested, then she wont act interested, and if she isnt acting interested, then she probably isnt.

 

[Vigilante7]

Originally posted by TooColdUlrick
i think u should go to the high school forum. u have a lot to learn.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

A girl is always looking for a boyfriend!! Don't believe otherwise! It is just that you are not him!

When a girl asks you what you want from her...be honest and speak in a humorous tone and say "the same thing that a woman wants from a man - I want your person, your essence, your company. What else would a man want from a woman?" Then act dumbfounded and puzzled.

 

[wudiez]

she neva said she wouldn't go out with me... she said.. seh doesn't know?? she's not sure.. and then she said all this insecure stuff like... will u cheat on me.. u got girls around u makes me feel insecure.. i dont know about you guys...

but to me, it seems like she wouldn't be asking me these quesitons unless she was really insecure.. like she doesn't trust me... i dont know how the heck that is interpretated as... me f'king up and her rejecting me... but yer.. oh wellz..

 

[ali_g]

She's definitely not interested. When she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend right now, that was ******** for "I'm not looking for a relationship with you". Read any of the stuff on ******** and anything along those lines usually means just that. A lot of people on this site will attest to this.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by ali_g
She's definitely not interested. When she said she wasn't looking for a boyfriend right now, that was ******** for "I'm not looking for a relationship with you". Read any of the stuff on ******** and anything along those lines usually means just that. A lot of people on this site will attest to this.

This much is pretty true. Look at it this way, are you ever "not looking for a girlfriend" when you don't have one? You are, it's just that nothing that's interested you has come along.

When you "wussed out," she lost interest. Seen it before. (happened to me...BAD) Spilling your heart in that case isn't going to help. You went from being too passive to too aggressive and took something simple and made it complicated. That's just no fun.

I'm not saying it's over, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
A girl is always looking for a boyfriend!! Don't believe otherwise! It is just that you are not him!

This is not correct. If she just came out of a long relationship, especially one that went bad eg she got cheated on and also if she's never been single she may need a period where she is NOT commited, nomather HOW great the man she meets is.

 

[wudiez]

Yer.. this much is true.. she has been out of a relatinoship which f'd her mind system.. this guy treated her like ****...

but tell me this... she goes a major part is she's not really look'n for a bf... sure i might of not attracted her enough or whatever... but if she's completely not interested, why not just give me a straight no... instead of it's not a no and it's not a yes...

and why the hell ask quesitons like... would you cheat on your gf... u have gurls that are around u..etc.. makes me feel insecure and how would u handle it if i were ur gf and then all the sudden all these gurls came after you....

too me it seems like she is interested just hasn't got any trust... or she's just insecure.. and i somehow have to make her feel that trust...

but yer lately.. i've been trying to talk to her normally.. and she's alway.. gtg... so yer i guess, she's not interested part does come in here... what i'm doing now.. is getting on with my life, like going out wiht other people, doing my study n ****.. I'm in tafe... but i still dont see a reason why i should give up on this one...

I mean she's been into me for a while now... like for a long time... the first dates we went on she was all for me...

and it kept going like that for a couple of weeks.. just htat one week we got close then all the sudden after that.. we both felt weird... i dunno you guys saying she doens't want a bf is like indicating that she doesn't want me...

well i dunno... what if the girl really is insecure due to past relatinoships.. and doesn't want to get into one...because she's been hurt... i dunno.. well see what happens... i'm not reluctant to give up that easy...

 

[ScrewIt]

before she started ignoring you, while you guys were going out....
u must've screwed somethin up bad to hae her IL drop like that.

yep sound to me like she's no longer interested in you.
do your own thing with other chicks as she claims to see around you, and maybe in time she may come around. if not oh well.

just next her already

 

[wudiez]

haha! guys.. she just text msging me saying that she's thinking of me!! lol.... it's close to 1am at nite... man.. the wonders of not being clinging.. and getting on with your life.. like 10mins ago i was asking you guys whether or not she was interested and all of you are like no she's definetly not interseted in you...

Tell me that this absolutely has no indication that she's not interseted in me...

One thing i can say is that this little document has helped alot!! http://www.sosuave.com/articles/space.htm so for guys that are in my situation read it!! it'll help heaps....

but yer... she could me msg as a test, becuase i didn't call her today and just kept things very light and friendly.. when we conversed on the net... even just left the convo to do my own thing... but what do you guys suggest i do in return.. ?? for the msg..

like is she still testing me to see whether or not, i'll turn into a clingy wussbag... i have no intention of msg'n her back... her msg was along the lines of "hope this doens't get you outta bed... but just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you that's all..." this happened right when i was reading that article.. so yer.. u can imagine how estatic i am right now....

Well anyway.. i'll msg her tomorrow... wadda you guyz suggest be a gd reply.. something that can be ****y funni.. and show that I'm not a wuss and just keep things light and simple...

appreciated... there's still hope!

 

[squirrels]

There's a red flag going up somewhere in the back of my mind with this girl.

Bearing that in mind, it's interesting to see her IL reverse. I'd say keep it light and fun and never TALK about commitment. Let her bring that crap up. Maybe she WAS still interested and you just came on too strong, which is why she gave you the "I'm not ready for anyone."

Be careful you don't get trapped on the rebound. But as long as she's not acting all flaky and ticking you off, go for it.

 

[wudiez]

"You went from being too passive to too aggressive and took something simple and made it complicated. That's just no fun."

I'm fully starting to understand this now... It's like When we were going out seeing each other, i kept things light easy, fun and simple... So we'd just have good and fun times...

When i started liking her.. i turned things complicated by expressing my feelings and getting all weird... there fore her interest level in me drop dramatically!!! And I complicated things for her in her mind... that quote is perfect... "took something simple and made it complicated."

Well for the past few days, I've been keeping it light and easy like not calling her... and hardly talk'n to her on the net... just making it like I'm getting on with my life, dating other chix etc... She msg's with... Hope this dont get you outta bed, but just thinking about you that's all..:

Seems like she's just throwing in another test... but I'm personally thinking of just saying... "yer I know ;p then have a great day." As a reply msg...

BUt do you guys see how this works.. ?? Has anyone else had the same experience... Well i'm at the point of recovery... so i guess anything i do now... the girl will re-act accordingly....

If anyone's got any input.. it'd be greatly appreciated... =)

 

[TooColdUlrick]

hey wudiez, would you please grow up and speak english. i pointed you to the high school forum, just from your grammar alone.

aT LeAst uR nOt tAlKiNg LiKE ThIs...i KnOw iT sEEmZ wAAy KeWL, BUt iTz dOrkEy.

G@D!!! is this really what our children have become?

 

[wudiez]

haha... it's just internet talk! It's not like I "CBF" can be fvcked typing stuff in full... lol "laugh out loud". I think you need to chill...

What's cool and what's not cool.... Get over it...

Does anyone have any real insight... ???