"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I ask her out to a bar, she says "YES!" and invites her friend?

MyTeamSupreme

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Why did this happen? Me made plans to go out to a bar on a Wednesday night (plans were made Sunday). The day that we're supposed to hang out we're talking and she says "oh my bff is on the other line"...I get a text saying "this is kind of important, you'll meet her when we go out tonight. I end up with two broads in my car instead of the one that I was trying to focus on and I'm trying to figure out what the hell went on...why did this chick invite her friend to hang out with us
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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evansblue

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I end up with two broads in my car instead of the one that I was trying to focus on
lmao!

What the hell were you thinking?? You didn't notice the red flag when she said her friend was going to tag along?? And you went along with it?
 

MyTeamSupreme

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was i supposed to say "oh, your invited your friend? have fun..im not going anymore"?
 

evansblue

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I probably would have deleted the number and not responded at all.

That's not a lead bro, that's going nowhere.
 

GhostWriter

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That means she's not comfortable or isn't attracted enough to be alone with just the two of you.

A complete waste of time from my experience.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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iqqi

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It sounds like she took your invitation as an informal one. Either she is unaware that you wanted it to be a date, maybe she thinks this because bars are social places where friends PLURAL meet up, or then again maybe she is avoiding your wish to date her formally. I'd say you need to read her a little bit better.

As a matter of fact, you didn't even say what happened on your "date". Are you acting like you just want to be a buddy?
 

Drdeee

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U paid for all the drinks too?

I say she wanted to hook u up with her - uglier - friend.
 

Drdeee

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In any click of friends there will be a hottie and an uglier chick. Like if she's 7 her friend would be 6.5. A 6.5 would not give a guy to her hotter friend, only the other way around, and only because the guy isn't up to her standards. They say they have a bf right now but that's bs.

I'd set up another bar night and bring my fat friend alone.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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MyTeamSupreme

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Drdeee said:
U paid for all the drinks too?

I say she wanted to hook u up with her - uglier - friend.
lol, no

Her friend was ridiculously attractive though...Better looking than her

Mike32ct said:
Either way it's a sign of friendzone. Delete her number.
Elaborate
 

oneboy21

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Was this chick very insecure of her looks
she might trying to DHV her status in front of you. My guess
 

Iceberg

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MyTeamSupreme said:
was i supposed to say "oh, your invited your friend? have fun..im not going anymore"?
Well, what I've said in this situation is: "Yeah. I don't feel like being a third wheel. I'll catch you another time when you're free."



MyTeamSupreme said:
Elaborate
It's not necessarily a 100% guarantee of Friend Zone. But if she thought this were a date, or date-like situation, she wouldn't have brought a 3rd person along.

This could mean that she's not interested. Or that you never made it clear that you're inviting her out because you're sexually interested in her. Not that you have to make that clear verbally....but somehow it must be expressed. "I'm man. You're woman."
 

SecondHalf

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Matters not.
There will be more interest from the other ladies at the bar. I'd have taken them and used them as wingmen. Would be an interesting social experiment.
She or her friend might get more interest in you just by doing this :)

SH
 

Mike32ct

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MyTeamSupreme said:
lol, no

Her friend was ridiculously attractive though...Better looking than her



Elaborate
She either considered it a friendly get together and/or she wasn't sufficiently attracted to go out alone with you.

I probably jumped to conclusions a bit. It's not a guarantee of friendzone, but bringing a friend is seldom a good sign given the two possibilities listed above.

So how did this get together go? What happened at the bar?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Chamber36

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The attraction may have been there, but maybe the comfort wasn't there.

I got a number from an HB9 who seemed super interested, she said she wanted to bring her friend, and never answered my text. I think it's that my intentions were a bit too obvious. All i did was go in, chit chat, get the number and go out.

Women just don't operate logically, they operate emotionally. So i think they need security. From what I've been studying the past few days, you need to "justify" anything you suggest to a girl, so that they feel secure with making a decision to go along with you.
 

Jeffst1980

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It could be that you didn't make your intentions clear, or it could be that she's inexperienced and felt "safer" with a friend. I would try it again- this time making it clear with a "I want you to come with me..." statement. Or, if you feel she wasn't all that interested, try to get the hotter friend's contact info.
 
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