I am utterly lost

[corrector]

 

[BaronOfHair]

Don't purchase a sniper rifle, climb to the observation deck of UT Austin's Main Building, and pay homage to Charles Whitman, once you're in that age bracket either...


You likely won't nail anything but the sidewalk, while not so much as grazing even 1 of the many incurably annoying liberal arts majors walking to class that day, who've got "Future HR manager" tattooed across his(or her) forehead. Waste of effort and ammunition, comparable to casting early 10s Margot Robbie in a film, then keeping her clothed the entire time

 

[Clockwerk50]

I have met her and we have had sex.

Thanks for the encouragament dear fella. But I love her. Losing her will be the end of me.

i thought were in an LDR OP. What do you mean you are smashing right now?

Anyways:

1. If you think you haven't lost her yet but fear that you will, then you have in fact already lost her. While if you think that you have already lost her and do not fear this prospect, it is likely that you have not actually lost her.

2. Instead of being satisfied with their accomplishments, women’s hypergamy makes it so that they are never satisfied. It is a biological impairment that works against them from functioning like rational individuals, but yet it is necessary to pass on the best genes possible. Thus, an woman only ‘widow’ for men that made an Alpha impression on them. If their previous Alpha was somehow ‘killed’ and replaced by a lesser man, their hindbrains resist that man’s authority over her while using her previous Alpha as the lesser man’s SMV benchmark. It is the premise of Rollo’s War Brides. https://therationalmale.com/2018/10/30/widows-warbrides/amp/

3. Once she has broken you - she will move on. This is often but not always true of a woman who no longer respects you. Don't allow it.

I don’t have much time to make a calculated argument, analysis into your situation, and solution, but you have oneitis, and the lack of your abundance mentality not only created this situation but also made you choose a LDR. Fix yourself before you try to fix others OP.

 

[Askaladd]

Being mistaken for The Target in an MS-13 assassination, being the first person in "modern" history to contract small pox, or on Ground Zero when China launches that first nuke our way will be "the end of you"

This broad vanishing will be momentarily unpleasant. If you're seriously suicidal, that's something to be taken up with a shrink... Hitting up a bunch of mostly laypeople on an online forum for counsel on that front is more nonsensical than calling on BTS, rather than The Delta Force, to rescue hostages held in some 3rd World armpit

I had some moments with her when we first got talking, I hadn't laughed so much in a long time, I felt so good

I am young and I fear I will not get such an experience with another woman where everything about relationships is new. I also could never date a woman who is not a virgin

 

[Askaladd]

i thought were in an LDR OP. What do you mean you are smashing right now?

It is an LDR but we have met.

1. If you think you haven't lost her yet but fear that you will, then you have in fact already lost her. While if you think that you have already lost her and do not fear this prospect, it is likely that you have not actually lost her.

I don't know if I fear losing her, I don't think I do.

2. Instead of being satisfied with their accomplishments, women’s hypergamy makes it so that they are never satisfied. It is a biological impairment that works against them from functioning like rational individuals, but yet it is necessary to pass on the best genes possible. Thus, an woman only ‘widow’ for men that made an Alpha impression on them. If their previous Alpha was somehow ‘killed’ and replaced by a lesser man, their hindbrains resist that man’s authority over her while using her previous Alpha as the lesser man’s SMV benchmark. It is the premise of Rollo’s War Brides. https://therationalmale.com/2018/10/30/widows-warbrides/amp/

It is true. Even in a stable relationship the woman always slowly expects more, otherwise she will become bored or the level of satisfaction is below that required even for boredom and instead leads to dissatisfaction.

3. Once she has broken you - she will move on. This is often but not always true of a woman who no longer respects you. Don't allow it.

How do I not allow it when I have been the one making the mistakes, like not giving proper emotional support? She has no friends or family, I am the only one she has.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I am young and I fear I will not get such an experience with another woman where everything about relationships is new. I also could never date a woman who is not a virgin

-We fear a great many things... The thoughts/beliefs which generate those fears are frequently distorted and exaggerated. Of the several billion women on this planet, how likely is it that this gal is THE ONLY one you'll be satisfied with?

-Good luck with that second point. In RL, women are no less horny than we are, and attractive gals have men throwing themselves at them by age 13

 

[Askaladd]

We fear a great many things... The thoughts/beliefs which generate those fears are frequently distorted and exaggerated. Of the several billion women on this planet, how likely is it that this gal is THE ONLY one you'll be satisfied with?

It is likely that there are others I could be satisfied. But it won't feel as special or new and my old gf will still linger in my mind.

-Good luck with that second point. In RL, women are no less horny than we are, and attractive gals have men throwing themselves at them by age 13

My gf was a virgin. You just can't take a non virgin once you have been with one

 

[Manure Spherian]

I am utterly lost and want to die. Well I have wanted to many times for a long time, but that is beyond the point. The situation with my gf has been terrible for a long time. She says the only reason she is still with me because she has no one else to talk to. She says this because I am not good at helping her when she is sad. No matter what I try I can't improve or say the right things or soothe her correctly. I feel that it is like trying to understand a foreing language that others understand so easily yet I am on the outside looking in. How do I comfort my gf? And I want real advice, not some tell her "that sounds really stressful" stuff.

I’m asking seriously!

How many close friends do you have? Close family members? Do you have a “crew”?

How satisfying is your life generally?

 

[BaronOfHair]

It is likely that there are others I could be satisfied. But...

@GoodMan32 , have you returned under a new username? For the express purpose of once again clogging up this forum with multiple threads that drag on for 20something pages, the likes of which are comprimised almost entirely of your justifications for going on just as you have,.rather than modifying your mindset and behaviors?


Even if you're not @GoodMan32 , but your intentions are similar(To clog up this forum with multiple threads, which consist almost entirely of you concocting justifications for not modifying your thinking and behavior), I submit-both to the mods and everyone else-that we nip this in the bud now

 

[corrector]

She has no friends or family, I am the only one she has.

Wow..and now she does not even want you either. That's really bad.

 

[Askaladd]

How many close friends do you have

0

Close family members?

4

Do you have a “crew”?

No

How satisfying is your life generally?

Not at all

 

[Manure Spherian]

0

4

No

Not at all

This is a big problem that no woman can correct ever, why some dealings with them fail, and why some men cannot meet women.

 

[Plinco]

I had some moments with her when we first got talking, I hadn't laughed so much in a long time, I felt so good

I am young and I fear I will not get such an experience with another woman where everything about relationships is new. I also could never date a woman who is not a virgin

You'll gain what you are willing to lose.

She's treating you like garbage because you think of yourself like garbage. You have the opportunity to lead your life in the way that makes sense to you, and if you believe that you can, you're half the way there. My guess is that you're pulling yourself in two different directions because the short term situation is really painful, but you know full well that in the long term, it will only get much worse. Just break it off and live your life to the fullest. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to come back to you, and if that happens then it must be 100% on your terms.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I also could never date a woman who is not a virgin

That´s gonna ruffle some feathers around here, but tell them to f0ck off. You are 19 so your chances are better.

 

[BaronOfHair]

You are 19 so your chances are better.

His chances are "better", in the same way a drug kingpin's prospects of not being gunned down on the street in broad day light are "better" than the average corner boy's are.... Either way one slices it though, relying on odds like THOSE(rather than amending one's ways)is more foolhardy than anticipating a revival of The Model T's popularity occurring, sometime within the next 6 six weeks


The number of highly attractive women in OP's age bracket who HAVEN'T been piped out at least once is-at best-in double digits, and a couple of years from now, it'll soon be single digits. Shrewd move for him to thus abandon this particular crusade

 

[Doctor Europeo]

His chances are "better", in the same way a drug kingpin's prospects of not being gunned down on the street in broad day light are "better" than the average corner boy's are.... Either way one slices it though, relying on odds like THOSE(rather than amending one's ways)is more foolhardy than anticipating a revival of The Model T's popularity occurring, sometime within the next 6 six weeks


The number of highly attractive women in OP's age bracket who HAVEN'T been piped out at least once is-at best-in double digits, and a couple of years from now, it'll soon be single digits. Shrewd move for him to thus abandon this particular crusade

You are possibly right. I for one am no expert in his location, which Im sure plays a big factor. Nevertheless, I like his spirit.

 

[Rocky_Hendrix]

I am utterly lost and want to die. Well I have wanted to many times for a long time, but that is beyond the point. The situation with my gf has been terrible for a long time. She says the only reason she is still with me because she has no one else to talk to. She says this because I am not good at helping her when she is sad. No matter what I try I can't improve or say the right things or soothe her correctly. I feel that it is like trying to understand a foreing language that others understand so easily yet I am on the outside looking in. How do I comfort my gf? And I want real advice, not some tell her "that sounds really stressful" stuff.

The Rational Male: The Player's Handbook. Section - "ZEROED OUT – MEN AND SUICIDE". Just read it

 

[Gamisch]

I had some moments with her when we first got talking, I hadn't laughed so much in a long time, I felt so good

I am young and I fear I will not get such an experience with another woman where everything about relationships is new. I also could never date a woman who is not a virgin

Well. I have many exes I remember fondly. Especially the FIRST THREE MONTHS.
.
Laughter, inside jokes, tons of sex..sunsets parties jealous homies, respect from the city.

And then she moves on...moral of th story is that you better enjoy those moments. If anything: these moments are YOUR confidence booster in life. Nd se gve you a (free) course about female nature.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It is an LDR but we have met.

I don't know if I fear losing her, I don't think I do.

It is true. Even in a stable relationship the woman always slowly expects more, otherwise she will become bored or the level of satisfaction is below that required even for boredom and instead leads to dissatisfaction.

How do I not allow it when I have been the one making the mistakes, like not giving proper emotional support? She has no friends or family, I am the only one she has.

OP, the fact that you made a post about how to handle her shows that you are willing to do almost anything to keep her from leaving. That means ignoring behavior that goes against your values, accepting insults, and constantly trying to meet all of her needs. When you say that “losing her would be the end of me,” it shows that your emotional stability depends too much on her staying.

Right now, you are operating in her frame. If she creates emotional highs and lows, you react to them and start questioning yourself. Over time, this makes you dependent and unsure, even though she is responsible for her own feelings. The way you interpret her words and actions shapes your reality.

In most situations, the person who holds their frame the longest wins. In the married red pill, most husbands come from a weak frame where they constantly try to fix their wife’s emotions, accept blame for everything wrong in the relationship, and bend their values to keep the peace. For example, imagine a fight where the wife is blaming her husband for everything wrong in her life. Instead of calmly holding his ground, he apologizes for things he did not do, overexplains himself, and tries to “solve” her mood so she will calm down. He believes that if he just tries harder, she will finally be happy. They tell themselves they are being patient, loving, and self-sacrificing, but the reality is that they are unhappy.

If you adopt someone else’s negative mindset just to avoid conflict, you move further away from your own goals and growth. The real question is: how do you build a strong, positive frame and hold it? You’ll need to explore this for yourself, but the consensus is clear: your frame is weak. This shows not only in being in a long-distance relationship where you can’t even be with a woman from your own city, but also in tolerating this kind of disrespect, which is baffling. You have low self-esteem, are unhappy, and see this girl as the missing piece to solve all your unconscious problems, which is far from reality.

 

[Masculinity]

@Askaladd: Your life is valuable. Don't lose it over a girl. There are solutions to most problems.

I sent you a direct message if you want to chat.