I am utterly lost

[Askaladd]

I am utterly lost and want to die. Well I have wanted to many times for a long time, but that is beyond the point. The situation with my gf has been terrible for a long time. She says the only reason she is still with me because she has no one else to talk to. She says this because I am not good at helping her when she is sad. No matter what I try I can't improve or say the right things or soothe her correctly. I feel that it is like trying to understand a foreing language that others understand so easily yet I am on the outside looking in. How do I comfort my gf? And I want real advice, not some tell her "that sounds really stressful" stuff.

 

[Askaladd]

Just now she texted me this:
"For the person you love you would naturally want to do anything for them. Maybe your celebrity crush or dream woman you would. But I am not that person for you. I would rather be alone than to be in a relationship where for every effort, ive had to argue my way to get it. Im not breaking up with you, but at some point I will learn to be alone and I most likely will leave you."

What the hell am I supposed to do? It feel like there are words and actions that need to be done and said but I don't know what. Human communication is so difficult, I cannot understand what I need to do

 

[Barrister]

First off, get a hold of yourself. Wanting to end things over a woman is downright sad. I suspect you may have some other issue that requires professional help judging from your posts here. That isn’t meant as a slight - I think you should legitimately get some help.

Second off, this woman is a POS. What she just texted you is completely unacceptable in an LTR. She has no respect for you. And I mean none. Are you going to be a doormat for her or stand up for yourself? I would end this relationship now. I would respond “I am sorry you feel that way. I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship and agree it’s going no where. Probably best we go our separate ways now as hanging on to something we agree isn’t working makes no sense.” Always agree and amplify. And don’t fall for her then doing a 180 and telling you how much she loves you and she now doesn’t want it to be over ever. It’s all temporary results of dread game.

My two cents: you cut this woman out of your life and I bet you’ll feel much better in all facets. Normally I’d say do this kind of thing in person, but given she has chosen the medium of texting I’d just roll with it. If she won’t show some respect, she receives none. Good luck, brother.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This woman is not your girlfriend. She is a random chick that you have never met and a pretend relationship.

I'm sorry you are struggling mentally but the first thing you should be doing is cutting this waste of time out of your life so you can focus on fixing the issues you are having yourself which can't be done while trying to continue this charade.

 

[Askaladd]

This woman is not your girlfriend. She is a random chick that you have never met and a pretend relationship.

I'm sorry you are struggling mentally but the first thing you should be doing is cutting this waste of time out of your life so you can focus on fixing the issues you are having yourself which can't be done while trying to continue this charade.

I have met her and we have had sex.

Thanks for the encouragament dear fella. But I love her. Losing her will be the end of me.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I have met her and we have had sex.

Thanks for the encouragament dear fella. But I love her. Losing her will be the end of me.

Bro, this will end badly for you.

She is gaslighting you all the way and if you fall in line you get pvssy, if you not fall in line, you get more drama.

She has no respect for you and at some point down the road she will leave you or cheat on you.

Staying with her will be the end of you.

Get help, seriously!

 

[Bible_Belt]

Just now she texted me this:
"For the person you love you would naturally want to do anything for them. Maybe your celebrity crush or dream woman you would. But I am not that person for you. I would rather be alone than to be in a relationship where for every effort, ive had to argue my way to get it. Im not breaking up with you, but at some point I will learn to be alone and I most likely will leave you."

What the hell am I supposed to do? It feel like there are words and actions that need to be done and said but I don't know what. Human communication is so difficult, I cannot understand what I need to do

Anyone with half a brain will tell you to stop talking to her. That's the easy part. What's gonna happen though is that she will come crawling back and suck you into (pun intended) the same misery. Because it's not miserable for her. It's what she needs.

 

[corrector]

Apologize and have make up sex?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Losing her will be the end of me.

Being mistaken for The Target in an MS-13 assassination, being the first person in "modern" history to contract small pox, or on Ground Zero when China launches that first nuke our way will be "the end of you"

This broad vanishing will be momentarily unpleasant. If you're seriously suicidal, that's something to be taken up with a shrink... Hitting up a bunch of mostly laypeople on an online forum for counsel on that front is more nonsensical than calling on BTS, rather than The Delta Force, to rescue hostages held in some 3rd World armpit

 

[Bible_Belt]

Apologize and have make up sex?

That only works in healthy relationships, which is obviously not what's going on here.

 

[MatureDJ]

Is she hot?

 

[Bokanovsky]

What the hell am I supposed to do? It feel like there are words and actions that need to be done and said but I don't know what. Human communication is so difficult, I cannot understand what I need to do

You tell her to enjoy the rest of her life, delete her phone number and never speak to her again. It's really not that complicated.

In another thread, you said that you wanted to join the military. How the hell are you going to fight enemies on the battlefield if you don't even have the balls to break up with a toxic girlfriend?

 

[corrector]

Is she hot?

Of course she is. That is why she has all the power in this dynamic. You think OP will be drooling over an ugly girl?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Losing her will be the end of me.

No it won't.

Sure it will suck but it won't kill you.

Get rid of her and find other things in life that make you happy.

Forget about ladies for a while.

Most are not worth your time, they'll only suck you into their vortex of narcissism.

Once you realize this you can understand them and exploit their nature for your own pleasure.

 

[corrector]

No it won't.

Sure it will suck but it won't kill you.

Get rid of her and find other things in life that make you happy.

Forget about ladies for a while.

Most are not worth your time, they'll only suck you into their vortex of narcissism.

Once you realize this you can understand them and exploit their nature for your own pleasure.

...or you end up single like myself for the past 12 years (with peace of mind).

 

[Gamisch]

We all been there at least once bro. It's devastating. The graveyard and jail are full of men who got there due to a woman. And both places have no undo button.

Many lessons to be learned, but this woman is like a tumor to you. Gotta amputate this person. .
The real concern is how much importance you put on ANOTHER human being that's NOT even related to you.

Tell her you wanna have a break. I can tell you from experience that there are plenty of women who will like you for you and respect you as a person.

And get help. ASAP. Get a free counseling for starters. Keep us posted

 

[sevbucmash]

Just now she texted me this:

Reply -- get your nails and hair done, and put something nice on, we're going out tonight.

Then you don't reply to her text. When time actually comes to evening, you ring her up, tell her you're going to pick her up in XX minutes. Then you get your uber, and go pick her up. Don't wait for her long though, if she's not feeling it, she's not feeling it. Go out without her.

 

[zekko]

No woman is worth your life, son. You may grieve a lost relationship, but someday you'll look back and say "What the heck was I thinking?". If there is such a thing as a perfect girl for you, she's going to love you back and be worth the time you invest in her.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

If you ever find yourself in great mental anguish while in a relationship, odds are it's because of the relationship.

I have met her and we have had sex.

Thanks for the encouragament dear fella. But I love her. Losing her will be the end of me.

You say that now but you won't later. That actually sounds like something an addict would say.

 

[plumber]

As you try to figure this out.... it is required to understand that not all other people have the same morals or even think like you do. I don't mean good vs bad or wrong vs right, just different. things that don't make sense to you are normal and desired by a some different people.

Your reaction to her is fuel for her. You feel good when safe and calm. She feels good when your upset. When your upset she is emotionally in control, I mean she is in control of you. This is bad for you.

Anything she tells you that you don't like; ignore it for now. Also don't talk to her for more than 15 minutes. Set a timer on your phone, when 15 minutes is up. Get up, stop typing or excuse yourself and get away. Try this, unless what your doing now is better.

When your at the gym, what does your training routine look like ?