i am trying years now and have 0 success

[coldcoal]

Hello Jack.

What language are you speaking in when you talk to these women?

 

[jack03]

i am a german guy and i am speaking german with the women. sorry for my bad english here. it's a foreign language for me.

 

[coldcoal]

No need to appologize, Jack. I was only curious.
I've read a few of your other posts, and it seems to me you do not have problems getting a woman's IL up.

If 'knowing what to say' is your problem, then work around it for now. Instead of trying to think of things to say, think of ways to get her to talk.

If you can dance 'ass to ass' with a random woman, you can also get them to speak to you out of curiousity.

 

[jack03]

argh yeah i am trying but i dont get it with the talking

 

[coldcoal]

Alright, forget what I suggested. Let me give you the basics. In essence, it's just a very casual interview. What's your name? Where are you from? What else do you like to do besides dancing? The only real DJ 'angle' here is to reply shortly and sweetly when she asks you these same questions; keeping the focus on her. This is why 'thinking of something to say' is the wrong mindset.

Men and women essentially ask each other the same questions over and over again, millions of times, simultaneously, every weekend all around the planet. There are just certain things we need to know abut a person to get to know them. It is only in the situation where these 'interviews' become so repetitive and boring that we 'think of something to say' to set ourselves apart from the.... YAWN!...routine.

This is why a DJ with experience (or an armchair Don all read up on bible literature) will suggest something smooth/****y/funny to say. You don't NEED it, it just helps a lot to set you apart from the usual.

Look at it this way: A 12 year old kid has a birthday party. One after another after another, people walk up to him and say, "Hey kid, how old are you now?" Little Johnny replies, "I'm 12". Routine question. Routine answer. Now here you come and you say, "Hey kid, how old are you now? 21? 22?" Little Johnny replies, "Ha! Ha! NO! I'm TWELVE!!!"

That's basically really all 'thinking of something to say' is. Learn the routine questions, use them and grow bored of them.
THEN try to essentially say the same thing differently (C+F and so on).

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Jack03

When you ask questions - ask questions that require long answers (these are called open-ended questions)

such as..." What are your long-term goals you wish to accomplish regarding your career in medicine?

What factors lead you to choose law as your major in college?


Do not ask too many questions that require short answers.

 

[jack03]

oh coldcoal thats what i missed really !!!! do you have some things where i can learn that better ? something which i could read more about that ???? this is small talk right ?

 

[coldcoal]

Absolutely, Jack! This is small talk. Every single human being on this earth must in some way use small talk to get to know a person.
We all ask the same dumb questions! Every day, everywhere, every one of us!

Why? Because we all want to know the same things, Jack. We want to know thier names because we like to say, "Hello, Anna! Good to hear from you!" We want to know where they are from so we can say, "Hey Karl! This is Anna, she's from Munich!" We want to know what thier hobbies so we can say, " Anna LOVES horses! I could surprise her if we were to do that!"

Unfortunately, I do not have something for you to read, as I have learned this from experience. But, I will answer any questions you have to help you out.

 

[jack03]

i try to improve in that ! perhaps i can train with some friends ?

another question i have read a book but dont understand the word "negotiating skill". what does that mean ?

 

[coldcoal]

...perhaps i can train with some friends ?


Sure. Practicing with strangers you meet on the street would be even better.






another question i have read a book but dont understand the word "negotiating skill". what does that mean ?

Negotiating is when you are trying to get something you want, but not on the terms of the people who can give it to you. It's usually about money, but not always.

For example, my last girlfriend got so tired of my drive for sex that she wanted to negotiate how many times a week we had sex.

Me: OK, 7 times a week.
Her: Once a week.
Me: You're smoking crack. 6 times a week.
Her: OK, two times a week.
Me: 4 times a week an two orals.
Her: 3 times a week and one oral.
Me: Alright. Deal.

 

[epitome of evolution]

http://gunwitch.fastseduction.com/

And

http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=6&mn=1067421072110153
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=6&mn=1067421073110154
http://www.fastseduction.com/cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=6&mn=1067421073110155

 

[jack03]

i tried that gunwitch method didnt go !

 

[Macca]

jack03...what are your looks??? do you consider yourself ugly or good looking???? We need more to go on my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please help us to help you!!!!

Macca

 

[Macca]

[QUOTE
Negotiating is when you are trying to get something you want, but not on the terms of the people who can give it to you. It's usually about money, but not always.

For example, my last girlfriend got so tired of my drive for sex that she wanted to negotiate how many times a week we had sex.

Me: OK, 7 times a week.
Her: Once a week.
Me: You're smoking crack. 6 times a week.
Her: OK, two times a week.
Me: 4 times a week an two orals.
Her: 3 times a week and one oral.
Me: Alright. Deal. [/QUOTE]

Coldcall...I like!!!! lol

 

[THA REALNESS]

Beleive it or not most of the time guys are on fire when it comes to chicks is when they don't even try ,when they just have fun with them.

 

[epitome of evolution]

If you're ugly, fix it. If you're a mutant in looks, forget about techniques. You'll need money or status to get laid.

Otherwise, you may be gay. Maybe you have no sex drive. Every man is endowed with a **** and is capable of ****ing. You might have something physically wrong with you, or maybe you have some mental baggage that keeps you from getting good.

Like you say, you fear the conversation will stall. I have never laid a girl without having the conversation stall. I mean to get offensive here. You maybe a chicken ****, afraid to try to move on through a stall? I mean, if you are aggressive, tihs should not even be an issue. Where's the persistence? You a troll trying to say that nothing on this site works?

I read more of this thread as I write this., and don't believe you can't get a girlfriend after 8 years. You are also looking 100% to your exterior for some solution.(maybe not a solution) You provide nothing here that could lead to a solution. You sure you even want advice or to improve your game?


Quit the seduction and get your life in order for a little while.

epitome.

 

[MackJr]

If you were a woman, would you date yourself?

I got serious about dating at the beginning of this year, and I realized I had to lose some weight. Once I hit a certain weight and did more with my hair, it was like someone hit a light switch. a good way to test your appeal is by doing normal interaction with your platonic female friends. Don't hit on them, but observe whether they're checking you out. If they are, you know you've made it to the appealing body level.

Don't hit on HB10s all the time. Try 7s or 6s. They don't get asked out as much, and it might be good for you just to get more relationship practice. Make sure it's someone you can deal with though.


Or just take a break for a while, say a month. get your thoughts together and decide what you really want to accomplish, what style you want to have, which women you want to focus on to accomplish that goal.

I'm doing much better than I used to; I used to think that dating was purely a numbers game, but I realize now that it's just a project that takes work like anything else. Women have always known this, and it's true.

 

[squirrels]

You're in your own way, man. It's pathetic.

You keep coming to people and asking THEM to tell you what you're doing wrong. Why don't you take responsibility for yourself?

We've talked about this SEVERAL times...yet you don't listen. You're too afraid to listen. You think there's something external to you, some limiting factor in your environment that you can just move out of the way like a friggin roadblock and suddenly your life's going to be that much better. Like someone's going to tell you, "Hey Jack, all you need to do is spike your hair to one side" or "Hey Jack, just say 'xxxxxxx' and they'll be all over you."

Bad news, buddy.

You've read just about every speed seduction and dating book out there and you're still having ZERO success. You know why? Because you NEED women. You've been so corrupted by the "gotta hit it" mentality that you NEED to have success with women. And every time you go up to a woman she senses how NEEDY you are and women are NOT attracted to NEEDY guys.

Do you know WHY women aren't attracted to NEEDY guys? Because NEEDY guys are afraid. They've taken something simple like the desire to mate and blown it out of proportion until it's ended up owning them. They've placed so much importance on it that they develop this irrational fear of being without women. Women don't want NEEDY men because they don't want FEARFUL men, because FEARFUL men can't protect them and can't provide for them and can't show them new experiences in life because they're too busy WORRYING over what they NEED to do.

Tell me something...why do you NEED women so badly? What is it that they give you that you can't live without? You've been living without it so far...is your life really that much of a living hell?

You're owned by your desires...you're so afraid of being womanless. So afraid that when you fall, no one will be there to pick you up. So afraid that when you feel desire, no one will be there to satisfy you. So afraid that when you die, no one will come and cry at your funeral.

Enough is enough. Be a MAN and take some RESPONSIBILITY for your LIFE. This is your 80 or so years to work with and then you're gonna die. You need to accept that. You don't NEED to do anything during that time. You put too much importance and drama into your life. Your life means NOTHING in the grand sense of the universe. And in that, you're free to do WHATEVER YOU WANT. You don't NEED women, you don't NEED money, you don't NEED food...hell, even LIFE ITSELF is optional.

You act like there's a universal "what to say." It doesn't matter WHAT you say. Say what you WANT to say. Stop trying to tell her what she wants to hear and tell her what YOU want to SAY, because that's what she's waiting for...someone who will project an interesting, passionate, fun-loving spirit on to her, rather than someone who will just try to "push the right buttons" to get her p*ssy wet. And she knows that's what you're doing because she can sense how worried you are, how afraid you are of saying the wrong thing.

Guys...girls do NOT want to hook up with a guy who says the "right thing" because it's what she wants to hear. She'd rather hook up with a guy who says something "wrong" but says it because it's WHAT HE WANTS TO SAY. You think these "bad boys" are excellent speakers?

Geez, how often have you sat there in class and some bad-ass kid gets up there in front of class and sounds like a complete moron, then goes and sits down next to his supermodel girlfriend and you think "what does she see in him?"

The smoothness in your speech is there because the speech comes from YOU and not from some message board or SS or DYD book. If you want to use words and techniques you learn here, you need to MAKE THEM YOUR OWN. Stop being so desperate to attract women that you want to be someone else, or have someone else give you all the right things to say/do.