i am trying years now and have 0 success

[jack03]

Hi Donjuans,

I hope you can give me some advice. I am trying now 8 years to get a girl friend. i am here more than a year had read the dj bible. And i did read also some ebooks like David de Angelo, Mike Pillenski without embrassment. And i am trying every weekend to get to know new women. But they aren't interested. I dont know what to do now. i dont know how often i tried but it's so many and 0,00 succes Any suggestions ?

 

[ChesterB]

It's really impossible to say what's wrong with so few information. Maybe you should give some details on what exactly you do and say.

Anyway you could try the "I don't care attitude". Next time you approach a woman you think "I don't care who or what you think you are and I don't care what you think about me. Right now I just wish to have some nice conversation."

Then, when it's time to get her number you think "Well, it's my duty as a man to ask for her number, so I do it. But I don't care if she'll give it to me."

 

[Lifeforce]

I had the same problem just a while ago, no one were interrested and didn't ever give me EC or flirt. Now, that sucks, doesn't it?

So I went a little crazy and got myself a nice gear of clothing and did everything in the book about looking good. The interrest peaked. Look as good as you can. I met a model yesturday who said I was goodlooking while I am actually below average (I think). Later when I ****ed everything up she called me a "geek"

The second thing I did was to brush up my attitude, just to feel emotinally connected to something other than women, I found that dancing, playing guitar and painting was something for me. It's important to have other things than women in your life, something that you can draw power and happiness from, people can sense it while they also can sense if you are desperate. I have found that people live dull and boring life, they are too unhappy to live this way the entire lifes but they do not dare to live their life's full potential.

People are just looking for something that make them feel stuff, love, fun, friendship, connection, anything out of the ordinary. That is what you should give them; if you have a daim a dozen personality, why should they want you?

When you are truly happy, then you will get a more powerful body language, look directly into the eyes and infect others with your lighthearted spirit. That is a proven fact, be engulfed into your hobbies and interrests so your entire being light up and the women will flock to you. (or at least show interrest)

 

[jack03]

i dont think that is my clothing no ! i bought good things and let friends decide if its good. i dont think that this is the problem.

to your second: i am ****y and funny. i teased them. i tried to be nice. i tried all different ´kind of things. doenst changed ANYTHING. i had been happy.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Why don't you tell us what you 'think' is the problem.
your convo, looks, body. financiial status, lack of education, personality, lack of humor, expectations are too high, too ****y, etc...

 

[jack03]

i dont know it thats the problem

 

[jack03]

i think most time its the problem that i have the fear that i dont know what to say and the fear that the conversation stops and its quiet. that happened many times.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

AAAHHHAA!!

Here may lie the problem -- I think fear is blocking your thinking and thus your approach and conversation is clumsy and awkward which leads only to more fear and anxiety. This behavior comes across as unconfident and unsure of one's self and women see through this.

Get into social settings where there is no pressure to get a girl's number or to impress them and you wouild be more comfortable in your conversations and have less fear because there is nothing at stake - this would be good practice a,nd who knows a girl's number may come out of this!

Also at social functions it is not only the responsibilty of the male to speak or approach it is also an obligation that the women initiate and participate as well - taking the sole burden off of you.

 

[DjDreamer]

Yes, his problem is fear...now how does he erase that fear? Vitamins, exercise, affirmations and maybe even a stay in Latin America...

Success is not a destination, success is a habit.

 

[jack03]

puerto believe i tried this but that didnt help i had 0 success

 

[DjDreamer]

Well at least you tried...that's a small success...some guys are unable to act.

 

[jack03]

thx djdreamer
it is not that i have given up after the first couple tries.
but i tried it now 8 years. every weekend.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

"it is not that i have given up after the first couple tries.
but i tried it now 8 years. every weekend."

Well at least you have one admirable trait - PERSISTENCE!

 

[DjDreamer]

Exactly...

Jack03, you're one persistant fella.

 

[jack03]

yeah it's like a baby which tries to walk and falls on his feet again and again and again..... till it can walk. i am doing the same but i just dont get it.... hrrrsccccchhhh

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

well jack, I' m not going to give up trying to help you my man, but it is difficult because I don't see you in action so it is hard to pinpoint the exact fear that you have. Do you look them in the eye when you talk or do you look away and avoid eye contact.

Let us stick with this fear iisue - i would suggest you get hobbies that are social in nature, tennis, bowling, or dancing, where you have a common interest with those in your group and you become the master of that hobby or activity and learn to know everything there is to know about that subject and become an expert in your knowledge.

Then meet women with the same interests , hobbies , activities as you and only talk about that common interest that you both share -- your convo should be good because you know what you are talking about and you share a common experience! And convo won't stop because it would interest you both and thus she will be an actice participant - and this would be a good bond between you two and then this would lead to other topics to discuss. Discuss it over some drinks to relieve the tension but don't drink too much!

 

[jack03]

i look them in the eye. i wait till they smile and then i smile too. for example.

i have much to do so not so much time got some sports like that. not possible.

the fear of " i dont know what to say" is a problem

 

[Golden Arms]

jack03 - out of curiousity, what do you look like ? Would you mind posting your picture ?

 

[jack03]

no i dont want to post in a forum but i could show it to you

 

[516]

I dont know if this is something that you can do, but it worked for me. I was in a sorta similar situation, I had not even said so much as "hi" to a girl before I was 18. One thing that helped me to really break out of my shell is to get a coouple of good female friends. These should be girls that you are not interested in and are not interested in you as anything more than a friend. I practiced my convo on them. I practiced my EC on them. My C&F. My storytelling techniques. All kinds of stuff I practiced on these girls. I had found that before too long I had broken out of my shell and it was so much easier to approach girls and have good convo with some random chick. Keep us posted and good luck bro.