Let me clarify on "random" when you meet a total stranger that doesn't know you well you should try to have an interesting convo. When someone knows you then you can sometimes do the random, if you keep switching topics then the other person won't be able to follow your humor or watever and think your crazy. So there's a fine line between being weird and using randomess to create mystery, which can be good. Find someone you look up to and make him your rolemodel then see how he interacts and how the convo is going. You'll slowly learn what makes them so special and good. Check out Marius Panzella (sp) work on how to have a great convo, it's really interesting if you actually use it.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I am socially retarded.
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Eh, can't hurt, but if this Panzella guys stuff costs anything, I don't have any money nor time to get a job. Hopefully it helps me have better coversations. This is a typical coversation for me:CCKazi007 said:
All downhill from there. Leads to a REALLY boring convo. This is why I'm afraid to approach girls, I'll approach her then it''ll lead into a really boring conversation. Either that, or it'll turn into an interview. I never spark attraction or interest in the girl and that's what I want to be able to do. This is what happens every time I approach, I never seem to be able to make the girls interested.
There was this one group of girls who seemed to hang on when I did the whole "interview" thing, but I think that's because they were just playing with me(You know, fake interest, probably just saying things so I'll leave).
Wow, you only said two things and you fvcked it up already. You didn't LISTEN to her.
THINK about what people are saying, not about what YOU are saying.
Here's a better example:
Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: Just good? what happened, you fail a test or something?
or
Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: thats a pretty creative answer.
Just put some effort into thinking about what the other person is saying, and stuff will come to you.
Thanks for that. You see my problem with opening with that is that instead of making a statement after she said good, I would just ask "Why is it good?" which gets nothing. I could imagine most girls just saying "Yeah" to the creative answer thing. I'll field test it out it though, mostly likely on a group during lunch.BluEyes said:
Last edited:
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
nicenomore
Senior Don Juan
BluEyes said:
My way
taken from fastseduction.com) Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: How good:
(showing different distances with my hands)
this good , This good , or THIS good (constantly show larger distance)
GaryUranga
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2006
- Messages
- 835
- Reaction score
- 7
Im pretty bad socially too, but Im improving a lot, I used to have somehting called "social anxiety" its a condition that just makes you nervous in every social situation, it doesnt get worse than that its like extreme shyness and well your social skills at that point are pretty CRAP, anyways Im not socially anxious anymore, but Im still not there socially like Id like to be, but thats what Im workign on atm, all I can say is.. work on it, learn to tell a story, learn to have open conversation, learn to be funny, the only way to learn on this is by doing, you cant read a textbook on how to be social, you can take hints, you can watch comedy and become funnier but the core of your social skills come from learning by doing, just get out there and talk.
Its not that bad all you need is a skill.
Its not that bad all you need is a skill.
SucceedSocially
Don Juan
An easy way to be more interesting and have things to talk about is learn more and have more life experiences. Once your head is filled with enough knowledge and random crap pretty much anything someone says will remind you of something cool from your past. Read more, take up new hobbies, watch new shows and movies, go on trips, explore your city, listen to new music, etc.
You just need practice as well, there's nothing we can say that'll hugely improve you overnight. With more time your conversations, story telling, humor, etc will tighten up. When you've talked to people for 100's of hours in the past, conversation comes much more effortlessly.
Be cool in your own way. If you aren't naturally witty, but have interesting things to say, then be the interesting guy. There's no one right way to be likeable.
You just need practice as well, there's nothing we can say that'll hugely improve you overnight. With more time your conversations, story telling, humor, etc will tighten up. When you've talked to people for 100's of hours in the past, conversation comes much more effortlessly.
Be cool in your own way. If you aren't naturally witty, but have interesting things to say, then be the interesting guy. There's no one right way to be likeable.
SharinganUser
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2006
- Messages
- 1,776
- Reaction score
- 50
You haven't changed a bit.
Gray The Prince
Master Don Juan
Two years later, and is STILL the same. :nono:SharinganUser said:You haven't changed a bit.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
dylanred101
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2011
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 0
me too
I feel the same way, and I'm in a very similar situation. I'm in band and jazz band, and wrestling. I do the extracurriculars but I just seem no good at making friends. All of my conversations are flat out dull, and often times I don't know how to approach people and it just ends up being awkward. Just know, you're not the only one.
I feel the same way, and I'm in a very similar situation. I'm in band and jazz band, and wrestling. I do the extracurriculars but I just seem no good at making friends. All of my conversations are flat out dull, and often times I don't know how to approach people and it just ends up being awkward. Just know, you're not the only one.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
- Reaction score
- 83
So what are you gonna do about it?dylanred101 said:
dylanred101
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2011
- Messages
- 2
- Reaction score
- 0
that's a good question. I don't know. That's why i came to this forum. To see if I could find something useful.NorwegianDJ said:
Theminatar
Don Juan
I'm one of those people who can keep a conversation going and interesting in large groups, but once you put me on a 1 on 1 situation I'm screwed lol. I'm trying to improve though.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Maxtro
Master Don Juan
ElStud hasn't posted in this thread in four years.
Why is it even active?
Why is it even active?