I am socially retarded.

[CCKazi007]

Let me clarify on "random" when you meet a total stranger that doesn't know you well you should try to have an interesting convo. When someone knows you then you can sometimes do the random, if you keep switching topics then the other person won't be able to follow your humor or watever and think your crazy. So there's a fine line between being weird and using randomess to create mystery, which can be good. Find someone you look up to and make him your rolemodel then see how he interacts and how the convo is going. You'll slowly learn what makes them so special and good. Check out Marius Panzella (sp) work on how to have a great convo, it's really interesting if you actually use it.

 

[ElStud]

Let me clarify on "random" when you meet a total stranger that doesn't know you well you should try to have an interesting convo. When someone knows you then you can sometimes do the random, if you keep switching topics then the other person won't be able to follow your humor or watever and think your crazy. So there's a fine line between being weird and using randomess to create mystery, which can be good. Find someone you look up to and make him your rolemodel then see how he interacts and how the convo is going. You'll slowly learn what makes them so special and good. Check out Marius Panzella (sp) work on how to have a great convo, it's really interesting if you actually use it.

Eh, can't hurt, but if this Panzella guys stuff costs anything, I don't have any money nor time to get a job. Hopefully it helps me have better coversations. This is a typical coversation for me:

Me: Hey, how's it going? <---Open
Girl: Good.
Me: So what'd you do this weekend? <--- Ask a question

All downhill from there. Leads to a REALLY boring convo. This is why I'm afraid to approach girls, I'll approach her then it''ll lead into a really boring conversation. Either that, or it'll turn into an interview. I never spark attraction or interest in the girl and that's what I want to be able to do. This is what happens every time I approach, I never seem to be able to make the girls interested.

There was this one group of girls who seemed to hang on when I did the whole "interview" thing, but I think that's because they were just playing with me(You know, fake interest, probably just saying things so I'll leave).

 

[i am me]

go up to the girls on the sideline and be like "hey ladies" then pull up those short ass track shorts...thatll prolly get em laughin

wont help wit ur conversation skills but itll help get u outta that shell u live in

 

[BluEyes]

Me: Hey, how's it going? <---Open
Girl: Good.
Me: So what'd you do this weekend? <--- Ask a question

Wow, you only said two things and you fvcked it up already. You didn't LISTEN to her.

THINK about what people are saying, not about what YOU are saying.

Here's a better example:


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: Just good? what happened, you fail a test or something?


or


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: thats a pretty creative answer.


Just put some effort into thinking about what the other person is saying, and stuff will come to you.

 

[ElStud]

Wow, you only said two things and you fvcked it up already. You didn't LISTEN to her.

THINK about what people are saying, not about what YOU are saying.

Here's a better example:


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: Just good? what happened, you fail a test or something?


or


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: thats a pretty creative answer.


Just put some effort into thinking about what the other person is saying, and stuff will come to you.

Thanks for that. You see my problem with opening with that is that instead of making a statement after she said good, I would just ask "Why is it good?" which gets nothing. I could imagine most girls just saying "Yeah" to the creative answer thing. I'll field test it out it though, mostly likely on a group during lunch.

 

[nicenomore]

Wow, you only said two things and you fvcked it up already. You didn't LISTEN to her.

THINK about what people are saying, not about what YOU are saying.

Here's a better example:


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: Just good? what happened, you fail a test or something?


or


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: thats a pretty creative answer.


Just put some effort into thinking about what the other person is saying, and stuff will come to you.

My waytaken from fastseduction.com)


Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl: Good.
Me: How good:
(showing different distances with my hands)
this good , This good , or THIS good (constantly show larger distance)

 

[GaryUranga]

Im pretty bad socially too, but Im improving a lot, I used to have somehting called "social anxiety" its a condition that just makes you nervous in every social situation, it doesnt get worse than that its like extreme shyness and well your social skills at that point are pretty CRAP, anyways Im not socially anxious anymore, but Im still not there socially like Id like to be, but thats what Im workign on atm, all I can say is.. work on it, learn to tell a story, learn to have open conversation, learn to be funny, the only way to learn on this is by doing, you cant read a textbook on how to be social, you can take hints, you can watch comedy and become funnier but the core of your social skills come from learning by doing, just get out there and talk.

Its not that bad all you need is a skill.

 

[SucceedSocially]

An easy way to be more interesting and have things to talk about is learn more and have more life experiences. Once your head is filled with enough knowledge and random crap pretty much anything someone says will remind you of something cool from your past. Read more, take up new hobbies, watch new shows and movies, go on trips, explore your city, listen to new music, etc.

You just need practice as well, there's nothing we can say that'll hugely improve you overnight. With more time your conversations, story telling, humor, etc will tighten up. When you've talked to people for 100's of hours in the past, conversation comes much more effortlessly.

Be cool in your own way. If you aren't naturally witty, but have interesting things to say, then be the interesting guy. There's no one right way to be likeable.

 

[SharinganUser]

You haven't changed a bit.

 

[Gray The Prince]

You haven't changed a bit.

Two years later, and is STILL the same. :nono:

 

[sfhdweb]

Thanks every for sharing great ideas.

 

[dylanred101]

me too

I feel the same way, and I'm in a very similar situation. I'm in band and jazz band, and wrestling. I do the extracurriculars but I just seem no good at making friends. All of my conversations are flat out dull, and often times I don't know how to approach people and it just ends up being awkward. Just know, you're not the only one.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

I feel the same way, and I'm in a very similar situation. I'm in band and jazz band, and wrestling. I do the extracurriculars but I just seem no good at making friends. All of my conversations are flat out dull, and often times I don't know how to approach people and it just ends up being awkward. Just know, you're not the only one.

So what are you gonna do about it?

 

[dylanred101]

So what are you gonna do about it?

that's a good question. I don't know. That's why i came to this forum. To see if I could find something useful.

 

[Theminatar]

I'm one of those people who can keep a conversation going and interesting in large groups, but once you put me on a 1 on 1 situation I'm screwed lol. I'm trying to improve though.

 

[Maxtro]

ElStud hasn't posted in this thread in four years.

Why is it even active?