I am now a complete *****!!

[susss]

This is gonna sound really stupid etc but anyway:
I'm single couple of months and got a message from a girl on a dating site but she is in another country.
We started off by texting etc but then texted more and more and video chat. When I say we texted its like texting all day everyday over the last 7 or so weeks and sexted and things got kinda more personal between us.
We did discuss meeting up for weekend and to be honest she is super hot and also cool. I reckon though she has turned me into a *****, she has had a date or two with some guy (which to be honest I'm not sure if she is just bull****ting me to make me jealous cause I kinda told her I liked her, and she would say tat she got chatted up in a bar by some hot guy tat kinda ****).
I am suprisd by how much of a ***** she has turned me into but there was something about her I really really liked and I'm good looking guy, work out most days etc.
I told her today tat we should maybe cool with the texting for a bit but she kept saying she really wants to cause she likes me blah blah bla.
Sorry message us so long but this is first time on here so any help be appreciated., I have a feeling I know wat u guys will say lol

 

[Serenity]

Yep, you know what we'll say. Don't do it, just don't do it. You don't like what she's turning you into. Wait.. Why is she turning you into something else? I think you know why. You've lost your frame and she's gaining power over you.

Don't sell your soul for her (or any woman for that matter). This can't end well, might as well save yourself the trouble and quit now. Unless you can re-gain the frame, mostly by holding yourself back from falling into her web.

Think this over more carefully without emotional bias, be realistic.

 

[El Payaso]

I'll make it simple. If you're not fvcking her, you're wasting your time.

 

[Fireballs]

I'll make it simple. If you're not fvcking her, you're wasting your time.

I'll also add, if you're not fvcking her, you're her girlfriend.

 

[susss]

Thanks guys I'm new here so not really sure wat u mean by "frame". She messaged me this morning saying sorry bout last night, I haven't answered here though. But to keep.my mind off things I'm meeting a milf tonight. How would I get back the frame though

 

[l__i__l]

And if she is in another country you're also wasting your time.
But you will make a good pen pal for her.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I'll also add, if you're not fvcking her, you're her girlfriend.

B-but sexting counts right?

My new friend, you have lots to learn. Thankfully, the knowledge you'll need is avalaible for free on the internet. I suggest you read TheRationalMale blog, and if you can, buy the books. Heartiste is a pro too, read his old blogposts. About gaining frame (you need to read TheRationalMale to grasp what frame is) back...I don't think it is possible. You set the frame from the beggining, and you have entered hers.

 

[marmel75]

The easiest way? You pull back. If this causes her to push forward, she will be entering your frame.

When/if she does push forward, make sure that your frame is solid this time, and ready for it. Consider it a subtle and indirect (a key word where women are concerned) renegotiation of terms.

Remember, whoever needs the other person the least will ultimately control the relationship.



Nope, It's called 'long-game'.

Keep her on the hook until you are in a position to f*ck her.

But whatever you do, don't catch feelings and don't get too invested in her.

She's just a plate. Remember that.

In 95%+ of cases like this, when it comes time to meet she will disappear never to be heard from again. She is in love with the thought of this whole thing and actually meeting would ruin that.

She isn't a plate...he hasn't fvcked her. She is some random chick he is investing a lot of time, effort and energy in for literally nothing in return, which suggests to her that his time is worth very little.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

What the ****..if she is any good at sexting enjoy having a wank over that but really apart from that there is nothing in this for you.

 

[susss]

Update,
This site is f##king great and thanks for advice. I did messaged her only few hours after she sent text today but I'm messaging her like I couldnt give a **** bout her. She asked me for my number and this time yesterday I would have jumped at the chance but today I told her no tat only special people get my number (maybe this was a **** reply when she asked you guys know better than me). I hinted i was going out with a mate and his girlfriend's friends tonight and then bout 10.30pm she sent message to see how night was going which I ignored. I am actually planning to go to where she's from with some friends soon so tats why I'm still interested in her. Thoughts on this please guys??

 

[Serenity]

@susss
I think the main issue here is distance, it takes too much effort to meet. Text just isn't a satisfying way to connect with people. It's great as a medium to quickly and easily make plans, but it lacks several dimensions of what makes human interaction satisfying in itself.

Playing games on text won't achieve much one way or another. You gotta have a plan and use texts as a tool to accomplish those plans. Ignoring a girl on text only means you don't really have a plan. Having long conversations also means you don't have a plan, it's just a way to stall any actual progress. To fill the void of having no solid action plan.

This is a simple choice, anything outside of these options is a waste of time. Either make a plan and start taking action or let this go to free yourself up to do something/someone else. Make sh!t happen, don't procrastinate.

So the questions you need to consider are:
- What do you actually want with this girl?
- How can you make it happen?
- Is it realistically achieveable or potentially worth the effort needed to accomplish it?

I might seem hard now, but I wish you well.

 

[susss]

How do I go bout making a plan