I am in a difficult situation.

[Dj48]

I am a frequent visitor of a bar in my local area and I have a great fondness for one of the waitresses here.

I have received what I believe are positive signs that she likes me although the problem is that it is a busy bar and I feel the opportunity to talk to her one on one are extremely limited.

The thing I see as a problem is that if I approach her in a crowded place and it doesn't go to plan I fear looking a complete and utter fool. I would appreciate any help or advice anyone could give.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I am a frequent visitor of a bar in my local area and I have a great fondness for one of the waitresses here.

I have received what I believe are positive signs that she likes me although the problem is that it is a busy bar and I feel the opportunity to talk to her one on one are extremely limited.

The thing I see as a problem is that if I approach her in a crowded place and it doesn't go to plan I fear looking a complete and utter fool. I would appreciate any help or advice anyone could give.

Rejection is normal. Get used to it.

And if you are rejected, at least you will be seen as a confident and assertive guy that took his shot. And not a wimp that missed out on life because of what others thought of him.

Better to go down kicking, than go down quietly.

PS: This has been discussed before but make sure you are reading this girl well. Any girl in the service industry will come across as cooperative and engaging. And not always because someone is nice to you that means they are interested.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Gamisch]

I would advice you to forget about her. Or better, to reset her status in your mind to " just a woman".

You care waaaaay too much about the outcome. I bet you are willing to give up your favorite bar if she rejects you. So I'll say reset, start over new and understand like @Modern Man Advice says, rejection is BEAUTIFUL, but you gotta be able to at least read the signs. If you're unable to do so, then again, forget about her and focus on other women. And geuss where (what bar) you'll take these new women ?

It's just another woman . Men are allowed to chase women since the cave men days. The newspaper won't write an article about how you got rejected.

Just remember, there are TONS of men who chase her. She is used to this anyway. You gotta man TF up , flirt with her and see if you can get the kill in the same interaction. Its win win for you bro..you either stop hurting yourself, get it over with and move on, or you get her number .

Man up.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I would advice you to forget about her. Or better, to reset her status in your mind to " just a woman".

You care waaaaay too much about the outcome. I bet you are willing to give up your favorite bar if she rejects you. So I'll say reset, start over new and understand like @Modern Man Advice says, rejection is BEAUTIFUL, but you gotta be able to at least read the signs. If you're unable to do so, then again, forget about her and focus on other women. And geuss where (what bar) you'll take these new women ?

It's just another woman . Men are allowed to chase women since the cave men days. The newspaper won't write an article about how you got rejected.

Just remember, there are TONS of men who chase her. She is used to this anyway. You gotta man TF up , flirt with her and see if you can get the kill in the same interaction. Its win win for you bro..you either stop hurting yourself, get it over with and move on, or you get her number .

Man up.

Best shot is to be seen in there with women who are either on her level or better.

 

[manfrombelow]

I am a frequent visitor of a bar in my local area and I have a great fondness for one of the waitresses here.

I have received what I believe are positive signs that she likes me although the problem is that it is a busy bar and I feel the opportunity to talk to her one on one are extremely limited.

The thing I see as a problem is that if I approach her in a crowded place and it doesn't go to plan I fear looking a complete and utter fool. I would appreciate any help or advice anyone could give.

If it's a place you frequent show up, my advice is leave the woman alone. In the service industry, it's their job to smile and act friendly to all people, not just you.

If you make a move and get rejected, it would be hard for you to come back there, thus losing a favourite place to chill. No woman is worth that.

 

[SW15]

This is only a difficult situation in your imagination. This female bartender likely has 0 attraction for you. Very few attractive bartenders find their dates while they are on the job.

My greatest recommendation if you want to approach women like nude models, strippers, Hooters type waitresses, and scantily clad bartenders is to have your first be with them initially in-person and not while they are on the clock at a job. That also means no sliding into DMs or any way of meeting them assisted by technology. You are another guy in an ocean of diccks if you do it that way.

Most men do not have a social life and do not have day-to-day routines that put them into contact with models, nude models, strippers, breastaurant waitresses, etc. Because of that, most men would have to rely on some sort of randomness for that approach to happen, like going to same gym as one of these women or approaching one of them at a grocery store or mall.

 

[darksprezzatura]

Just talk to her. Be kind and be curious about her. Joke around a little, establish rapport and some semblance of comfort. Then tell her to give you her number.

 

[2Rocky]

The issue is as a "regular" you are already friend zoned. There is no mystery about you. If she chooses to date you or have a relationship, then you will be there in her space all the time...

Look at it this way as well. Even before you date her exclusively...you now cannot meet new women where you feel most comfortable and have the most social proof.

 

[2Rocky]

For the guys who want to try and take a bartender or waitress home....your stock is never higher than the first time you meet her. (and if he is in to you then she will make it clear).

Don't try to do this in your home town. Save it for when you are out of town and have a hotel room. She won't have the eyes of her colleagues/roommates on her.

Work the ride home angle. Hey wanna share an Uber at the end of the night/your shift?