The Problem is YOU
Alright dear, you PMed me to get my take on your situation and I read through all 5 of your previous threads. Let me start by stating that this isn't something I'd normally do, but in your case it was easy. It was easy because you basically regurgitate the same crap repeatedly about the same problem.
Your confusion about this guy (or the other guy for that matter) isn't the root of your problem - this confuion (really frustration) comes from your extrodinarily juvenile understanding of intimacy (and an inability to cope with it), and how and why thing operate the way they do. I have to admit, for the first 3 threads I assumed you were about 17 or 18 because you naively cling to a very adolescent set of social skills. This guy isn't playing games, you are, with yourself. A virgin at 25, and still living at home with your single mother isn't helping you to mature into a healthy adult woman, and your constant replaying of these silly, teenage cuddle sessions only emphasizes either your lack of understanding what's at play here, or your fearful inability to address what you KNOW is going on. In my opinion I feel it's a combination of both.
You're a child
You're a child and you need to hear that you are so. You're a child not due to your age, but due to a retardation in your maturity, and the most consistent manifestation of this is in your behavior regarding the main guy in your posts. You KNOW damn well he wants to have sex with you, but like a pedantic 13 y.o. girl you repeatedly play the coy, naive idiot. He's not blameless for playing stupid AFC games with you, but understand, he's playing YOUR game, you've set the frame for him to play to. You set a similar frame for the other guy (new car guy) as well so I see this as a theme for you, confirmed by a consistent set of behaviors, that tells me all I need to know.
You're afraid of intimacy (i.e. Sex)
You're a virgin at 25; not necessarily an indictment, but in your case it's evidence that you really have no prior experience to base your estimations of this situation on, so you naturally default to the only social skill set you've ever used - your adolescent one. You enjoy the attention, but you fear the intimacy. This is why you rent 3 chick-flick movies when a guy comes over to see if he can come over with a six pack and bang you after blowing you off for weeks at a time. This is a fillibuster tactic that you play as part of your game; it's your fail-safe in case "he gets the wrong idea." The cuddling, the massages, these are stalling tactics - wait him out until he give up and blows you off for another 3 weeks - wash, rinse, repeat.
The fact that the 'sex talk' makes you uncomfortable is another indicator. This guy's not a DJ in any sense, he's grasping for any straw he can get with you, but because of your complete lack of sexual experience and your fear of it, he's making an attempt (albeit a lame one) to prompt you along. His mistake is that this is part of your game and he's playing along with it - when in fact he should've NEXTed you after round one.
You're frigid and you're fearful. A mature woman of 25 doesn't balk at a guy wanting to have sex with her - she either does or she doesn't. Most women your age have had many sexual partners. That doesn't make them better or worse than you, it makes them more mature than you. So answer for me now, have you ever masturbated? Have you ever had an orgasm as a result? Have you ever kissed a guy full on the mouth? Have you ever had a man feel you up? You're anonymous, tell us all here now little girl.
Stop 'playing' friends
In everyone of your bleating posts you subscribe to the "friends first" mythology and this only reinforces my assessment of your immaturity. Want to know why you haven't had sex yet? Because you've clung for so long to this purile notion that men and women should be friends before lovers. This is romanticized fantasy. Hear me now it's sex first THEN friends if at all. Women have two kinds of friends; boyfriends and girlfriends, if he's not fukking you, he's your girlfriend. Men and women cannot be friends until intimacy has been resolved. You will never understand the validity of this untill you have sex.
This guy has been playing surrogate-boyfriend with you since fukking middle school. He's an uber AFC, but he's playing YOUR game and YOUR game is entertaining this Friends nonsense. You want this whole sharade to be resolved? Grow up and fukk him or spell out in no uncertain terms that you're not. He's wasting his time with a 25 year old girl who's trapped in a prepubescent mindset. Your inability to come to terms with your own fear of intimacy (and sex) has been transferred to him now in his perception of how to get after it with a woman. You've got a lot of growing up to do and you do him a great diservice by pandering to his sexual desire when you have no concept of what sex even is.
