"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

I always hated fill-in-the-blank questions...

O

omerta1111

New Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2004
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
I am having fun with this one, but it’s a real challenge. The pertinent facts are below. So you tell me, what's the next move?

Him: Give me your number
Her: Okay

[days later]

Him: Hi Her, it’s me, Him. Let’s go out.
Her: I’m seeing someone, but we could get the kids together.
Him: I’m seeing someone also. Let’s do it.

[meet w/kids, have a great time]
[days later]

Him: That was fun. Let’s go out just the two of us.
Her: Sounds great.

[date goes well, I suppose]
[days later]

Him: Would you like to do X with me this week?
Her: Thanks, but I'm going ona trip with a friend. I’ll call you when I get back.

[week later, email exchange]

Her: Hi Him. I’m back.

[days later]

Him: Hi Her. How was your trip? Want to go see Z with me on Saturday?
Her: Trip was great. I need to pass on the date, I’m seeing someone regularly now.
Him: No worries. I ended it with the girl I was seeing, but it wasn't bad. Anyway, what’s his name? What does he do for a living? I hope he turns out to be a real jerk. Just kidding! Not really….
Her: He’s a super nice guy. And a doctor. What have you and your son been doing?
Him:_________________________________.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

N

NewMan

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 29, 2003
Messages
2,406
Reaction score
16
Location
Los Angeles
Him: Well we have been planning a trip together - we are going to see XYZ for a weekend - It should be really fun. But enough about that. Well, if things change with you and Dr. Jekyl, give me a call K. Bye


Something to that effect would be my response. But you can insert whatever you feel appropriate in the first sentence.

Point is - you give her the message your not going to be hanging around being her "Friend"......

You are out of there - moving on.
 
R

Royal Elite

Banned
Joined
Jan 28, 2005
Messages
749
Reaction score
1
Age
49
Location
NY
This is where following your head (both of them) instead of your gut causes problem. She already told you this relationship wouldnt be that type of relationship but somewhere in your head(top and bottom) you are develping an alternate universe where she didnt mean what she said, and somehow you will still get her. You did everything right, now you need to keep being right and move on and next her.
 
P

Paradox

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 24, 2001
Messages
2,584
Reaction score
25
Location
USA
Him: Hi Her. How was your trip? Want to go see Z with me on Saturday?
Translation: Hey. I thought about you. I want you.

Her: Trip was great. I need to pass on the date, I’m seeing someone regularly now.
Translation: I had a great time with my man. I am a 1-man woman. I don't want to blow this relationship so LJBF.

Him: No worries. I ended it with the girl I was seeing, but it wasn't bad. Anyway, what’s his name? What does he do for a living? I hope he turns out to be a real jerk. Just kidding! Not really….
Translation:No problem. If anything happens I'll let you down easy. Gimme some ammo so I can take pot shots at your BF. I hope he really makes a big mistake and fuks up the relationship.

Her: He’s a super nice guy. And a doctor. What have you and your son been doing?
Translation: He can't really mess up. He's done so much for me already. Do you think I paid for the trip? He has a six digit salary. I'll show you how to let someone down easy. lets chat until you feel better. I'll listen then I'll stop writing you.
 
O

omerta1111

New Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2004
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Paradox & RE, that is good stuff...I suppose I should have clarified that I know for a fact that she didn't go on the trip with the other guy. But anyway, I like her, but at this point I am flummoxed...I can Next with the best of them, but this one may be worth the trouble of at least exiting the right way, leave the door open a crack. Is not responding the right way? I don't know.

And geez, a doctor? That in some respects makes me think less of her...every doctor I've ever known has been freakin' wierd as he.ll. If you're on this board and you're a doctor, you know exactly what I mean!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

O

omerta1111

New Member
Joined
Aug 14, 2004
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
FWIW I decided to euthanize the whole thing...it's just not worth any more thought. Wanting to go out like a gentleman, I wished her well with her fella and told her everything was great with me. I gave it my best shot and came up short...Like Royal says, win or lose go out like a champ, not a chump.

I have studied this site for a few months, and while I haven't been able to land a prospect that I find suitable, at least I'm approaching and pursuing top drawer women and not coming across like an AFC, win or lose. This is a welcome change. Next...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
Top