"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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HS nerd group buggin me

Need-2-B-Pimpin

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My situation: I've been going here some time, mainly lurking, sometimes replying when I felt like it. I've been trying to make a transition into the popular, fun-loving crowd from the dungeons and dragons nerd group that I'm stuck with in all 7 of my classes. I've grown a lot more outgoing, more willing to do risky stuff, harder-working, etc, and some of my teachers have recognized that I'm the only "dualie" (In both International Baccalaureate and Math Science Engineering magnets-these guys are the d&d nerds I'm stuck with.) to move over and try to socialize with the scantly spread members of other groups. The d&d guys are getting pissy now since I've changed a lot, accusing me of selling out etc (basically, wearing abercrombie etc is selling out.)...how do I deal with these guys? I definitely can't escape them this year and probably next year, since our schedules are all the same except maybe one or two classes at most. Ignoring goes only so far when I'm surrounded by them, and talking back to them just produces more *****ing. A few of the non-dualies have stuck up for me but much as I appreciate that, it makes me feel a bit helpless since I seem to lack the ability to fend for myself. I'd gladly just ditch these *******s if I had the chance, but unfortunately the only way to do that would be sacrificing education. Any crucial element of DJing I'm missing out on, or any advice from you guys?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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AFK Protector

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I don't see how ditching some geeks is "sacrificing your education." They're people...drop them....live a lifestyle you like....keep studying hard. You don't live your life to please anyone...not them, not women, NOONE. Only yourself.

btw, I have the same problem. I just stopped hanging out with them/didn't talka bout games anymore/etc.
 

WaRpEd

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Take a machine gun and mow them all down! :D

I had a similar problem. I just don't talk to those friends as much (but I still talk to them some) ...and I even converted a few of them.

Although I never got into the Dungens and dragons sh!t, so it was a little easier for me.
 

ShizamDaMan

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If they have a problem with you wearing whatever clothes you want, they're probably not a tolerant bunch to begin with.

Just tell them you're still the same guy you were, you are just making friends with new crowds. If they can't respect that then cut them off, you don't need "friends" like that anyway.
 

AFK Protector

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I play counter-strike...but non-geeks play that too. That's basically it. Its embarassing when some kid comes up to me and says hi when I'm flirting with a girl....

I just treat them I would any other person, although I would prefer to not know them. Distancing my interests from theirs automatically distances them from me.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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California Love

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Why would you want to ditch good friends? They're much more likely to make a difference in the future. You can hang out with different people, but don't alienate your friends because they are "uncool." The only reason a person is "uncool" is because they're insecure. Don't try to be who you aren't.
 

blienk

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Originally posted by California Love
Why would you want to ditch good friends? They're much more likely to make a difference in the future. You can hang out with different people, but don't alienate your friends because they are "uncool." The only reason a person is "uncool" is because they're insecure. Don't try to be who you aren't.
They don't sound like good friends to me. Good friends aren't going to go get all b*tchy if he starts shopping at Abercrombie. He doesn't have a problem with them being uncool, it sounds more like they have a problem with him being cool.

I say, fcuk 'em all. If they're going to get mad at you for improving your own standing in life, then you don't need them.
 

AFK Protector

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Originally posted by California Love
Why would you want to ditch good friends? They're much more likely to make a difference in the future. You can hang out with different people, but don't alienate your friends because they are "uncool." The only reason a person is "uncool" is because they're insecure. Don't try to be who you aren't.
I used to associate with them....they weren't close friends or anything. Plus, real friends accept a change in you. Sounds like these punks are holding this DJ in training back.
 

California Love

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Originally posted by AFK Protector
I used to associate with them....they weren't close friends or anything. Plus, real friends accept a change in you. Sounds like these punks are holding this DJ in training back.

If you saw a friend who, all of a sudden, changes their entire image and tries to blend into another crowd, you'd be dismayed at their behavior also.
 

Porky

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Originally posted by California Love
If you saw a friend who, all of a sudden, changes their entire image and tries to blend into another crowd, you'd be dismayed at their behavior also.
Yeah, you have to look at this from their point of view.

That said, treat them exactly the same, but make more friends. Let them know that they're still important to you, but hang out with non-dualies as well.

I just started dating a girl who's in a math-science magnet. The people in this magnet are easy to spot, because they all have a nerdy quality about them. She's very cool, and manages to hang out with the awesome people from the writing magnet (like moi) and non-magnets. If she can do it, so can you.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Need-2-B-Pimpin

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Ya got a good point, but they're not asking what the hell happened, they're being *******s about it and pissing me off. I've grown past them, we got different interests (Me: dating, gym. them: dungeons and dragons, avoiding the sun). As blienk said,
He doesn't have a problem with them being uncool, it sounds more like they have a problem with him being cool.
is pretty much the gist of it. I got no problem with having friends who aren't in the popular group, most my friends aren't and I respect them. Hell, I try to pull them up with me when I can.

What I mean by having to sacrifice education by leaving them is that to be in any classes with more than very few people other than this group, I'd have to drop one of the magnets I'm in, and I'm sure as hell not doing that. We all have pretty much the same intense schedule and will again next year, probably even more exclusively.

The whole problem with ditching these guys is that I can't. We've all got very similar schedules (varying by 1-2 classes, but I'm always with a majority of them) and will next year. Pretty much all of my social expansion takes place at lunch, during after-school stuff, etc.


Side note: Some motherfvcker stole my sammich in comps class today...I'd love to kick his a$$ but I can't do that without sacrificing self-control and a free in-state college scholarship. Would leaving my lunch out in the open, watching it in the corner of my eye and yelling across the room for "xxxx get out of my fvcking lunch!" if he tries again be a good idea? (The teacher doesn't care about cursing, that's not an issue.) The guy who I'm 99% sure is doing it is in the popular crowd but I'm not gonna stand by and let him think he can pull that sh!t on me. I already caught his friend in the act and got a few bucks out of him for pizza, I'm not gonna let this assh0le off so easy.
 

SnatchJP

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Simple, be freindly with them in your classes, and hang with your new friends outside of classes. You said it yourself, this isn't worth dropping classes for.

Distancing yourself would be much easier than ditching. Wiser too, if you ditch them, they'll make your classes hell.

Also, have you considered telling any of them about this website? Pick a favorite or two and teach them some tricks. I'd be willing to bet that deep down they want to be popular and succsessful with girls too.

If you're worried about the site ruining your rep, just drop anonymous notes in they're lockers (or maybe e-mail them from a random e-mail address you make on the spot.)


BTW, phuck the sandwich. It's a sandwich. Who cares?
 
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