How your tribe indirectly shapes your image

[jhonny9546]

This isn’t about our past or future FWB situations, it’s more about LTR's, or women who play a meaningful role in your life.


How much has your family background such as siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts, influenced the way your chosen LTR partner sees you?


Some people come from complicated families: divorced relatives with kids, a cousin struggling with addiction, a sibling without education or work, a sick aunt, or ongoing conflicts between parents.


These are things outside our control but a part of the hand we’re dealt.
How much do they really weigh on how we’re perceived?


When you had tension in the family, fights with siblings, disagreements with parents or relatives, how did you grow from that? Did you distance yourself? Move away? Set boundaries?


I personally believe that coming from a healthy, supportive, drama-free family, where everyone respects each other and knows their limits, is one of the strongest predictors of success in both relationships and life in general. Not because you “do everything as a family,” but because our family environment deeply affects who we are and how we show up in the world.


I’ve seen men from toxic homes break free, build their own support systems, and choose partners who come from much healthier family dynamics.

 

[The Duke]

I come from a very good family with very little dysfunction that knows how to work out their issues. No alcoholics, no mental illness, no drugs, divorces, fighting, cheating, etc. Most people I have dated quickly realize that I'm not average in that world and it raises my value when they are wanting a long term relationship.

The problem is most are not on my level. The last exgf(LTR) I had came across as having a really solid family but as time went on the stories came out.

We are a product of how we were raised. Some overcome their poor raising, most don't.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I come from a very good family with very little dysfunction that knows how to work out their issues. No mental illness, fighting, etc.

D@mn, bro. You dont have to rub it in, you lucky bastard.

We are a product of how we were raised. Some overcome their poor raising, most don't.

100% agree

 

[jhonny9546]

We are a product of how we were raised.

I was raised good, but to be a good boy.

Then I hit rock bottom a few times and realized that being a good boy is wrong.

I had to be a good man.

So the transformation was figuring out what is "good" and what is "good," what is "boy" and what is "man."

It's not easy, but I'm on the road. I don't see the destination, but I feel the journey.

So I think a lot of us will make it, but from personal experience, it really sucks to see your family with new eyes and realize that the people around you are of low value. (This is the hardest thing)

 

[Barrister]

I come from a very good family with very little dysfunction that knows how to work out their issues. No alcoholics, no mental illness, no drugs, divorces, fighting, cheating, etc. Most people I have dated quickly realize that I'm not average in that world and it raises my value when they are wanting a long term relationship.

The problem is most are not on my level. The last exgf(LTR) I had came across as having a really solid family but as time went on the stories came out.

We are a product of how we were raised. Some overcome their poor raising, most don't.

I think most women are destined to (usually) turn into their mothers. Both physically and mentally. If you don't like what you see from the mom, keep that in mind when evaluating your prospect. She may seem way different from her mom when you first meet her, but in reality her childhood makes it very difficult for her to escape that same fate over the course of years. I have learned this lesson through harsh experience.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Is that you Arturo Bandini?

 

[jhonny9546]

I think most women are destined to (usually) turn into their mothers. Both physically and mentally. If you don't like what you see from the mom, keep that in mind when evaluating your prospect. She may seem way different from her mom when you first meet her, but in reality her childhood makes it very difficult for her to escape that same fate over the course of years. I have learned this lesson through harsh experience.

I can agree with this but there could be different nuances because the life experiences are not the same.

The mother could be materialistic, but she is not.
Or she could have been raised by her grandmother, so approach it completely differently

 

[Travel memoir21]

Fights and disagreements may happen but If you can't work it out, I believe in loving and forgiving that person from a distance. But yes, family plays a vital role in the selection of a long term mate. All the women in my family are strong natured females and there would be a big disagreement if I get a certain type of woman. But at the end of the day, I'm the one making the selection and the rest will fall just in line.