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How Would you have reacted?

anour

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I started working somewhere new, hitting it off with the colleagues, everything is chill. Yesterday i had a shift where i met a girl who works at the same shop for the first time, we flirted back and forth things were going good. At the end of the day, everybody gathers up infront of the shop (safety reasons) before everybody dispatches.

So here we are waiting for the manager to come out so we can all leave, and i start talking to another colleague (small talk) and then i ask her if she stays on her own or with other roommates. She replies that she lives with another girl who also works at the same shop and her name is Amber, she then proceeds to say that i was hitting on her friend in the gym and she rejected me (have absolutely no clue who tf is she tbh, i might’ve hitted on her friend but idk) infront of everybody who works there. i was shocked i tried to play it down by saying it’s too much testosterone, and then asked her to show me a picture of her friend and then told her idk her. She started saying yeah maybe its another guy with the same name as you, i asked her how do you know my name (i never met this girl in my life, and that was the first time i ever see her), she was like “yeah we checked who are our new colleagues and your name came up” to which i replied aha.

In summary, I felt like **** especially since the girl i was vibing this was literally standing to this snaky ****face when all that happened. I felt that i should’ve acted as if i didn’t hear any of that bull**** and simply acted stupid, as that **** that she said lowered my value infront of all my colleagues i feel. What are y’alls input?
 

Dr.Suave

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"I dont recall but sounds like something I would do"
 

Michael Chief

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I wouldn't try to sh!t where I eat in the first place. "Don't dip your pen in the company ink," as they say. However, you might encounter people trying to embarrass you in other situations, too. Just follow the improv principle of "Yes And" by agreeing with whatever they say and exaggerating it or reframing it. It's all a matter of frame control. What @Dr.Suave said was a good example.

On another note, I don't feel embarrassed like my "value" gets lowered by these sorts of situations because I know my value. There is nothing anyone else can do or say to lower it. And they can feel that I don't get riled up or overly reactive to anything like that. It's about being grounded in your masculinity. It's about knowing who you are and what you're all about, and being shamelessly unapologetic for being you.
 

anour

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I wouldn't try to sh!t where I eat in the first place. "Don't dip your pen in the company ink," as they say. However, you might encounter people trying to embarrass you in other situations, too. Just follow the improv principle of "Yes And" by agreeing with whatever they say and exaggerating it or reframing it. It's all a matter of frame control. What @Dr.Suave said was a good example.

On another note, I don't feel embarrassed like my "value" gets lowered by these sorts of situations because I know my value. There is nothing anyone else can do or say to lower it. And they can feel that I don't get riled up or overly reactive to anything like that. It's about being grounded in your masculinity. It's about knowing who you are and what you're all about, and being shamelessly unapologetic for being you.
It’s a side job, agree with your quote, however i’m in a country where people in these areas **** each other like mad dogs especially in these kind of jobs.
 

BillyPilgrim

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I'd go overboard with silent treatment towards the offending B. To punish in addition to rehabilitation. No tolerance for the over-the-top B.
 

anour

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I'd go overboard with silent treatment towards the offending B. To punish in addition to rehabilitation. No tolerance for the over-the-top B.
If you can help on this too i would really appreciate it.
there is this girl whenever she sees me speaking to the girl i vibe with, she begins to say go and do your work. I don’t like being treated like that i find it very annoying and disrespectful. She is in the same position she isn’t a supervisor, i’ve listened twice because i’m new and need the job but i can’t withstand such rat behavior. What do you advice me to do?
"I dont recall but sounds like something I would do"
 

BillyPilgrim

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If you can help on this too i would really appreciate it.
there is this girl whenever she sees me speaking to the girl i vibe with, she begins to say go and do your work. I don’t like being treated like that i find it very annoying and disrespectful. She is in the same position she isn’t a supervisor, i’ve listened twice because i’m new and need the job but i can’t withstand such rat behavior. What do you advice me to do?
If you're getting your work done, then say you're working and leave it at that. If you're not adequately good at your job yet, limit the small talk and focus on the job while ignoring the B and making sure you're cool with the boss. Treat the B like a yapping pomeranian, ignore it.
 

anour

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If you're getting your work done, then say you're working and leave it at that. If you're not adequately good at your job yet, limit the small talk and focus on the job while ignoring the B and making sure you're cool with the boss. Treat the B like a yapping pomeranian, ignore it.
I see, don’t you think i should enforce a boundary?
 

BillyPilgrim

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I see, don’t you think i should enforce a boundary?
Once you're there longer and more valuable to the management. Bide your time, pick and choose the battles you know you can win. Use each victory as a mandate to advance/defend your position.
 

anour

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Once you're there longer and more valuable to the management. Bide your time, pick and choose the battles you know you can win. Use each victory as a mandate to advance/defend your position.
Bro straight advice for white collar, however i’m working at a clothing shop.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Bro straight advice for white collar, however i’m working at a clothing shop.
Same principle applies, just a shorter time frame. Clothing shop can hire faster.
 

SargeMaximus

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I wouldn’t be hitting on girls who work at the same place as me (or any girl irl tbh) but when people purposely try to hurt me, it hurts and disappoints me. I don’t think less of myself but I lose that much more faith in humanity
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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Years ago before branching out to my own freelance gig , I used to work in the hospitality food and beverage industry in San Diego.
Restaurant/banquets hotels and sh1t.
There is no other work environment in existence where girls will throw themselves at you if they really dig you. People be fvcking like rabbits and some would pick up a loyal LTR.

once you get a job with a lot of female presence
and that one just stares at you in a menacing way, your gut just knows that you will end up bagging her. There is always that one chick.
It’s hard not to dip your pen in company ink especially if you ain’t getting puzzy in the streets.

op, dr suave had the proper retort response. Whenever a female says a snarky comment like that you just say something to that effect. like water off a duck’s back and never break stride
 

anour

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I wouldn’t be hitting on girls who work at the same place as me (or any girl irl tbh) but when people purposely try to hurt me, it hurts and disappoints me. I don’t think less of myself but I lose that much more faith in humanity
And how is that going for you?
 
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