"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How would I go about this approach?

Telurn

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There is this girl that works at this place I frequent. The other day when I went she was constantly sparking up a conversation with me (as I was waiting, she would keep coming back to the counter, lean on the counter and talk to me). I wanted to number close her there but wasn't sure if I was confusing interest with her friendlyness and outgoing personality.

I'm a confident guy and i'm not socially awkward, I was able to hold a conversation with her, but I want to take it a little further...get to know her more. I don't want to use some off the wall techniques because I feel like if I do and it fails, I'll be known as "that guy" everytime I come to this place (and there is no other option, i HAVE to come back).

What should I say, do, not do...any advice?

---I will paypal $5 to the person who provides me with the best advice---
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Telurn

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Nope...no money or tipping was involved...

she works at the front desk where i get my hair cuts at...i mean obviously if things did crash and burn i COULD go to a different location, but I really dont want to because I am happy with the service they provide.
 

Halloween

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"Holding a conversation" with someone who's really outgoing (which she probably is) is easy to do.

But you need to ask yourself, "Have I done anything to differentiate myself from the other guys that come into this place?" If not, it might just be that she's really outgoing and nice to everyone. So measure accordingly.

My advice to you (and it certainly ain't worth $5) is to make an effort to pull her out of the studio. You need to be in a different location before you can start building her comfort level. So I'd say don't ask her out on a "date."

Instead, do this: the instant you get her laughing, INTERRUPT her laughter and say, "HEY, I'm interested in getting a coffee on your break."

Notice how I wrote that. I didn't say (1) "in getting YOU a coffee," nor did I say (2) "in getting a coffee WITH YOU", nor did I (3) ask a question.

Why're these things important? (1) this sounds like you're supplicating, like you're trying to buy her time. A high-value guy doesn't need to buy anyone's time, they'll willingly give it. Give off that vibe. (2) is implied. But if she's witty there's a chance she might ask, "you mean with me?" And then you can smile (smile slowly--I think it's a lot more attractive to smile like you're trying not to) and say "Alright. You can come." (3) You're not asking her permission, you're getting yourself a coffee, goddammit. Also, asking questions changes the tone of your voice, and in my opinion it makes you sound less decisive.

...having trouble thinking of how to get her to laugh? Check this sh!t out:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7792102.stm
 

DonJuan11

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Telurn said:
What should I say, do, not do...any advice?

"I hate to see you stuck in here all day. Wondering if you have some time after work to join me for some coffee? I know this great place right around the corner."
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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