"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How/when best to contact this girl.

Rhizzle

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Ok, So I'm gonna skip past most of how I met this girl. I had a friend in town from out of state this weekend. She's cool, but we're just sorta friends, not close. Well, her sister ends up coming over and hanging out with us. This sister is a HB8 to me. In a couple more years, she could approach 9. We had a group of 4, and we went to a Bball game and then came back to my place and played games and had fun. It wasn't a double date, cause we met some other friends down at the game.

Another HB8.5 friend of mine who I would date, came down and met us for the bball game, and the new girl doesn't know it wasn't a date type thing with us, so my social proof or whatever the word is, "value", whatever, has to be through the roof with this new girl.


Ok so, I felt like I was really getting good eye contact from this girl throughout the evening. She had just me and her do a shot together. Then when I was looking for the liquor bottle to put the lid back on,she made this comment like "yea i always know where the liquor is at", and was looking up at me with these eyes like she wanted me.

Well, me and her are both lightweights. She ends up going and laying in my bed to rest for a bit. I ended up going in to talk to her, cause I wasn't sure if she was alright.

Basically, my friend had been hitting on her, a little too strong, and she wasn't into it, and she said she didn't like anyone hitting on her when she was drunk, she'd rather that happen when both parties are sober. I told her, that it was very important to me that she felt comfortable and if there was a problem, I'd take care of it.

She said, No, its no problem, and that if she didn't feel comfortable, then she wouldn't have been laying in my bed. (I took that as a good hint)

So, I ended up laying beside her, not right next to her, (cause I was toasted), and we talked for like a half hour. So, finally, when she was getting close to ready to get up and go home,
I told her, I thought she was a really cool girl, and I know we're both a little bit drunk right now, but I'd like to give you a call and take u out sometime. and she said yea, and smiled.

But I didn't get up and get her number, cause her sis walked in right then.

So, I facebooked her yesterday evening, and she added me like 2 hours later, but we havn't sent any messages.

Whats the best way to contact this girl and get her out with me? How long to wait till I message, what do I say? Do I just get her # from the sis who is my friend from out of state since the younger girl did say I could call her? I am thinking I need to go right to the source, and my only means then is through facebook.

Thoughts?
BTW, I'm 27, and this girl is 20.
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Rhizzle

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Umm, Thanks for the reply. I actually enjoyed that link.

However, what drama? I didn't post about any drama.

I had a great weekend, and I wanna go out with this girl, and I wanna handle this right and not screw it up.

And, I've spent 99% of my life in AFCville, and I'm done with that, and I'm already gettng much better responses than ever before. So, we're still in early growth mode here.
 
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Rhizzle

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Also, a small part of my uncertainty here, is that I don't want to tick off the out of state sisters (who is sort of a friend of mine), by seemingly going behind her back directly to this girl, because the friend is sort of my connection to this girl.

If I ticked the friend off, she might bad talk me to her sis.

But I don't feel like going directly to my friend and getting the number, cause she might see that as a slap to her face.
 

Monkey

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Message her on facebook with "whats your number?"

Get number, call her, ask her out...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Rhizzle

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Should I go ahead and message her today (Monday)? We hung out Sat night.
 

Mr. Wolf

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Again, what's up with drama..


Your path should be to lead the lady towards hard core sex without consequences for her, and discreet. Lead. If you not sure you place that burdain onto someone else, like her, she has way to much to worry about. Like getting pregnant, or coming out of this as a slvt. Lead this game.
 

Rhizzle

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Ok, I messaged the chick.

I just saw that some guy made a sticky thing on her FB about how he hoped she had a great day, and the I <3 U baby crap.

But she just said over the weekend, something her ex, and her status is single.

Ok, I'm not looking at that profile crap anymore, cause I'm better than any guy whos trying to talk to her.

BLAH!

Thanks, the message is sent.
 

Rhizzle

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oh, one other tidbit of info I thought was relevant.

While we were laying there talking, she mentioned something about her being the middle of 5 kids. So, in an effort to relate, I just mentioned how I have two older sisters yada yada and threw in that I was 27. I figured she needed to know, because otherwise, I might come across as being even older than that.

So, in turn, she mentions that one of her best friends just broke up with a guy who is 27, and her friend is 19.

I said, oh, well that sucks for him, or something to that effect.

Then she says, "oh, but it wasn't because of his age, it was just because he wasn't "going anywhere", just in a worthless state of existence, (not in those exact words).

I'm not sure if her comment about her friend dating the 27yr old, was an effort to qualify herself to me, or just an effort to relate to the conversation. Humm.
 

Rhizzle

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Ok, I sent a message. it said

"Hey, glad you hung out with us Sat. Had a great time!

I'd like to give you a call sometime, and I never got your number the other night."

she replyed back within an hour, (prob had class) and said,

"I had a lot of fun too! Thanks for having us over :)

xxx-xxx-xxxx" (number)

So, now, how soon can I call and ask the girl out?

Help a brotha out.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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I'm bold. I'd call her tonight and plan for something after the holiday. Show her that you're interested but not necessarily eager.
 

Sandow

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I would call her in two days. Let her think about you, plus girls dont like to be rushed. when you set something up, plan for the day after tomorrow. In my experience, the next day is too fast and they will most likely say no. being patient makes you look laid back and in control. Trust me, you have her, don't move too fast.
 

Mr. Wolf

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Call her tonight, and plan something for later on. After holidays is pretty bald, go for it. Nothing wrong with something little like a coffee this week.


Again, the drama. When to call. AKA what do I do now. PM me when you in doubt when to kiss her.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Sandow said:
I would call her in two days. Let her think about you, plus girls dont like to be rushed. when you set something up, plan for the day after tomorrow. In my experience, the next day is too fast and they will most likely say no. being patient makes you look laid back and in control. Trust me, you have her, don't move too fast.
I don't know, waiting to call her to get together the day before a holiday seems a bit AFC.
 

Rhizzle

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Doesn't calling too soon seem AFC?

I'd have no problem waiting, but, I gotta say, I'm concerned about this other dude that I mentioned above.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Rhizzle

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'm bold. I'd call her tonight and plan for something after the holiday. Show her that you're interested but not necessarily eager.
I like the calling to set something up now, for after the holiday. Maybe friday after thanksgiving. I'll be back in town, and the big game is the following day.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Rhizzle said:
Doesn't calling too soon seem AFC?

I'd have no problem waiting, but, I gotta say, I'm concerned about this other dude that I mentioned above.

Think about it. Yes you are calling her soon but when are you asking her out? Tomorrow? Nope. Day after tomorrow? Nope. This weekend? Nope. Sometime next week?
"Hmmm... He's calling me now but he's not free until next week? Wow, I guess he has other things he needs to do... At least he's making some time for me..."


​
It may just be me and how I operate but I let women know I'm interested in them, but things are set on my terms. The interested ones adjust and make themselves available, most actually appreciate me planning things in advance instead of making them jump through hoops last minute. The ones who aren't interested won't make themselves available. Fair enough, I'll move on.

I've learned that the games about hiding interest can work against you. Guys like me will book things in advance with women who had been waiting on a guy to call. He doesn't and she just thinks that he isn't interested. I'm there, I'm interested, hmmm; tough choice.
 

Rhizzle

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You guys think younger girls (20) dislike planning something a week or so in advance and would rather go spur of the moment? or no?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Rhizzle said:
You guys think younger girls (20) dislike planning something a week or so in advance and would rather go spur of the moment? or no?
They tend to go out spur of the moment if they don't have plans. Give her a good enough reason to go out with you and she will if she's interested. Be ready to deal with an unsettled mind though. Those girls can change their minds like the wind if they aren't into you.
 

iqqi

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Call her tonight, set something up for Friday. :)

How come you said "too bad for him" about the friend breaking up with the older guy? Stop acting like 27 is old... you are going to give HER a complex, if she doesn't already have one. Will reply more in depth soon, I hope... got some stuff blocking the advice channels in my mind. And yes, I read it ALL. ;-)

Sounded real good.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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