How was your Vacation? I have a date. : )

[ChristopherColumbus]

So I get back into town, and text a lady I'd dated a couple of times and get this response [in the header].

Next?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

A rude reply, and a blow to my pride, so I go for a swim to make myself feel a bit better... when hello, a lady chats me up in the pool and arranges a swim date same time, same channel next week.. ha ha.

 

[marmel75]

I'd just delete the number...but it was her way of telling you not interested...thank her for not accepting and then flaking...it's better you not waste your time.

As far as this other chick...wtf is a swim date?? Why didn't you just go on an instadate with her? You should have been like "Hey, I'm getting ready to go xXxX, come with me."

Or set up a real date. I mean that's some sh1t 80 year old people do...make dates to go swim at the pool the following week to ease their arthritis

 

[sazc]

Lol, I just had an OLD dude eventually tell me he had a date Friday night "IRL", when I wasnt jumping at the chance to immediately give him my cell so we could text. His point was that I must be one of those females that was only OLD attention seeking and would never actually meet him. We had literally just started messaging.

After he said that, I took a step back and considered all possibilities as to why he would say that to me, and what he was trying to accomplish by saying that. Know what? None of the reasons I came up with were positive. All of them were negative and/or retaliatory. When I realized that ,it told me a lot about his character, and it was easy to arrive at the decision that I didnt want to date someone like that. He screened himself out, and I realized that I dodged a bullet.

Your female screened herself out, and you dodged a bullet. She's a mean person and, if you had gotten involved with her, she would have been passive aggressive, mean and retaliatory in the relationship.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I'd just delete the number...but it was her way of telling you not interested...thank her for not accepting and then flaking...it's better you not waste your time.

As far as this other chick...wtf is a swim date?? Why didn't you just go on an instadate with her? You should have been like "Hey, I'm getting ready to go xXxX, come with me."

Or set up a real date. I mean that's some sh1t 80 year old people do...make dates to go swim at the pool the following week to ease their arthritis

Yep, I certainly won't be contacting her. It's up to her to contact me if she wants to move things forward re-initiate things. But no doubt, a probable sign of disinterest on her part... odd after two dates but it is what it is.. say la vie...

As for the 'swim date', I met this lady while swimming in the pool. As a general rule, I do not hit on women while swimming... she was the one to make prolonged eye contact... to which I instinctively respond. After chatting for a bit, she mentioned that she would be there again same time next week, and that we should meet again.... and that she had an English speaking friend she wanted to introduce me to [I'm in a foreign country]... so I just went with the flow... I quickly added that we that should go for coffee afterwards though...

Two other coffee dates organized next week... and maybe a dinner date also.. so already forgotten 'Miss I have a date!'.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Lol, I just had an OLD dude eventually tell me he had a date Friday night "IRL", when I wasnt jumping at the chance to immediately give him my cell so we could text. His point was that I must be one of those females that was only OLD attention seeking and would never actually meet him. We had literally just started messaging.

After he said that, I took a step back and considered all possibilities as to why he would say that to me, and what he was trying to accomplish by saying that. Know what? None of the reasons I came up with were positive. All of them were negative and/or retaliatory. When I realized that ,it told me a lot about his character, and it was easy to arrive at the decision that I didnt want to date someone like that. He screened himself out, and I realized that I dodged a bullet.

Your female screened herself out, and you dodged a bullet. She's a mean person and, if you had gotten involved with her, she would have been passive aggressive, mean and retaliatory in the relationship.

Yeah, she was flirty with me when we went out for drinks the other night, but I was still unsure what direction it was going while I was away on holiday. There could be a lot of things going on with her that I don't know about. Still, a bit on the nose when you get a response like that...

Yeah, and demanding anything, like what you mentioned above, is poor form.

 

[sazc]

Yeah, she was flirty with me when we went out for drinks the other night, but I was still unsure what direction it was going while I was away on holiday. There could be a lot of things going on with her that I don't know about. Still, a bit on the nose when you get a response like that...

Yeah, and demanding anything, like what you mentioned above, is poor form.

Again my mind always goes back to "What was she trying to accomplish by telling you that?" Needle you? Underhandedly say "you were slow so I found someone else?" Make you jealous? Again, I can find no positive reason for saying something like that. This speaks volumes about her character.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Again my mind always goes back to "What was she trying to accomplish by telling you that?" Needle you? Underhandedly say "you were slow so I found someone else?" Make you jealous? Again, I can find no positive reason for saying something like that. This speaks volumes about her character.

Yes, the first thought that flashed through my mind was that she wanting to test me.. or wanted to make me jealous. The second thought that soon followed was - I do not play these kinds of games with women. The third thought was, well maybe she just isn't interested. It came as a surprise because the first two dates were good.

And yes, I think it reflects poorly on her character. Even though her response annoyed me, I just answered with, 'Oh ok... have fun~~'. And left it at that.

It does help to have other dates going on... and of course to not have overly-invested in the first place.

 

[sazc]

In essence the answer as to why she did that s really "because she's a b1tch"

I'll never understand in relationships why, when you have a choice to say nothing, or say something that is hurtful, people choose to be hurtful

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yeah, maybe.... at best, it's just ignorance.

 

[sazc]

Yeah, maybe.... at best, it's just ignorance.

No dude, dont fool yourself. It's not ignorance, she's a *****. And if you ever do interact with her on the same level, she is going to think you are a wuss and she can treat you poorly.

I do that too, give men I date the 'benefit of the doubt' on things they say or do, thinking that 'maybe they just dont know that could be hurtful, or offensive' What I have learned is that these people, the ones who 'may not know', this is actually HOW THEY ARE. Regardless of if they know or not, this is who they are, and more crap like this will be coming from them. And more crap always does come from them.,

I'm working on not ignoring these obvious red flags anymore.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, well I will definitely not be initiating any contact with her. I've already psychologically detached from her.. ha ha.. very easy to do when you only reciprocate the amount of interest they show first.

What surprises me now is the amount of interest she showed on the second date... perhaps a real femme fatale this one.

If she initiates contact with me again, she will certainly have a bit of work to do...

 

[Konada]

So I get back into town, and text a lady I'd dated a couple of times and get this response [in the header].

Next?

I would have ignored it. Or if I'm feeling particularly assholish "LOL. Nice try."

If she replies apologizing, put her in her place. "

Idiot woman: Sorry CC
CC: Good. Let you know when I'm free to meet up. Enjoy the week ahead.

Anything less than an apology warrants no reply and an immediate next.

 

[guru1000]

Low interest, move along.

Your creating a thread to write/ask about this shows me you're not getting rejected nearly enough.

 

[resilient]

Low interest, move along.

Your creating a thread to write/ask about this shows me you're not getting rejected nearly enough.

Moar rejection sets us Don Juans on the path to IDGAF, zero fvcks given, etc. Internalize this attitude, OP. Bring out the next plate!

 

[marmel75]

Yep, I certainly won't be contacting her. It's up to her to contact me if she wants to move things forward re-initiate things. But no doubt, a probable sign of disinterest on her part... odd after two dates but it is what it is.. say la vie...

As for the 'swim date', I met this lady while swimming in the pool. As a general rule, I do not hit on women while swimming... she was the one to make prolonged eye contact... to which I instinctively respond. After chatting for a bit, she mentioned that she would be there again same time next week, and that we should meet again.... and that she had an English speaking friend she wanted to introduce me to [I'm in a foreign country]... so I just went with the flow... I quickly added that we that should go for coffee afterwards though...

Two other coffee dates organized next week... and maybe a dinner date also.. so already forgotten 'Miss I have a date!'.

Coffee and dinner dates? Why no grab a drink dates? Those are the highest probability of success.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Coffee and dinner dates? Why no grab a drink dates? Those are the highest probability of success.

Some of the women I meet in coffee shops. So more often than not, we meet for a coffee. After that, it is drinks.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Low interest, move along.

Your creating a thread to write/ask about this shows me you're not getting rejected nearly enough.

Well, I am no stranger to rejection. This particular women surprised me in so far as she'd first shown high interest, and then replied so callously. She first flashed her eyes at me in a coffee shop, initiated kino on a coffee date, laughed at all my jokes on a dinner date... and then a weird and abrupt 180 with the 'How was your vacation. I have a date! : )'

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Moar rejection sets us Don Juans on the path to IDGAF, zero fvcks given, etc. Internalize this attitude, OP. Bring out the next plate!

Yes, meeting a nurse tonight. This one is different... she talks about all sorts of bodily functions shamelessly.... She approached me in the coffee shop a couple of weeks back. The plan is to get to know her a little more today, and then take her out for a drink in the weekend.

 

[marmel75]

Well, I am no stranger to rejection. This particular women surprised me in so far as she'd first shown high interest, and then replied so callously. She first flashed her eyes at me in a coffee shop, initiated kino on a coffee date, laughed at all my jokes on a dinner date... and then a weird and abrupt 180 with the 'How was your vacation. I have a date! : )'

Did you bang her on any of those dates?