Long story short, i'm a bit of an AFC. I recently started a new job and there's a killer girl there. Unfortunately, I have made it blatantly obvious that i'm keen on her and have even asked her to lunch (to which she replied, it's not a good idea because we work together). Basically, I know she has a little thing for me but I also know from talking to people that she is terrified of rumours starting and putting her job in jeopardy by going out with a co-worker. Right now I know I give her far too much attention and everyone can see I have a thing for her just because I joke and talk with her every chance I get. So, is it possible at this point to turn the tables and get her chasing me to the point where she doesn't care about rumours etc? I can't just all of a sudden start ignoring her because then i'll just look like an ass but is there anything I can do to improve the situation?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
How to turn the tables and get her chasing me?
- Thread starter deniall
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
francoatgrex
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You don't have to ignore her but you must stop drooling all over her. The best thing that seems to work to get her to chase you in such a situation is to make her jealous by showing subtle signs of interest in another girl and most importantly make her notice indirectly that the other -still hypothetical- girl is also interested in you.
Good tips. Cheers.francoatgrex said:You don't have to ignore her but you must stop drooling all over her. The best thing that seems to work to get her to chase you in such a situation is to make her jealous by showing subtle signs of interest in another girl and most importantly make her notice indirectly that the other -still hypothetical- girl is also interested in you.
Mantis Toboggan
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Well you better get used to looking like an ass. Because that's all you have.deniall said:So, is it possible at this point to turn the tables and get her chasing me to the point where she doesn't care about rumours etc? I can't just all of a sudden start ignoring her because then i'll just look like an ass but is there anything I can do to improve the situation?
You already said that you've been showering her with attention all the time. If you're not ready to turn off the attention faucet, then what other tactic do you have?
It's like a fat person saying "I want to lose weight, but I can't just stop eating crappy food all of a sudden." You CAN start ignoring her, you just choose not to because it makes you uncomfortable.
It's not even that you ignore her. That's childish. It's just that you should cut back on your attention to her. Act as if you have a super model girlfriend at home. Now this girl at work isn't so important. You talk to her, but not as much as before. This girl will wonder "Why isn't he paying attention to me? Am I fatter? Does he have a girlfriend? Why did he take the attention away?"
Giving her lots of attention has gotten you nothing. Try the other way. See what happens. Life is just one big experiment, buddy.
Good points. Cheers.Mantis Toboggan said:Well you better get used to looking like an ass. Because that's all you have.
You already said that you've been showering her with attention all the time. If you're not ready to turn off the attention faucet, then what other tactic do you have?
It's like a fat person saying "I want to lose weight, but I can't just stop eating crappy food all of a sudden." You CAN start ignoring her, you just choose not to because it makes you uncomfortable.
It's not even that you ignore her. That's childish. It's just that you should cut back on your attention to her. Act as if you have a super model girlfriend at home. Now this girl at work isn't so important. You talk to her, but not as much as before. This girl will wonder "Why isn't he paying attention to me? Am I fatter? Does he have a girlfriend? Why did he take the attention away?"
Giving her lots of attention has gotten you nothing. Try the other way. See what happens. Life is just one big experiment, buddy.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.