Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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How to stop seeking approval?

smithersonb11

Don Juan
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Simple question. How would you guys recommend going about becoming less approval seeking?

Something I noticed lately. I feel like I'm sometimes having to force the un-reactiveness and strong frame, if you understand what I mean. How can I make the transition from being nonreactive and alpha consciously to naturally?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Eph

Master Don Juan
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Best answer is if you're "trying" to be alpha, you aren't alpha. Don't think, just do. To stop seeking approval (and BECOME alpha), do things because YOU want to, say things because YOU think they're funny, etc. Be nonreactive. If a girl flakes, its "oh well, her loss".
 

smithersonb11

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Eph said:
Best answer is if you're "trying" to be alpha, you aren't alpha. Don't think, just do. To stop seeking approval (and BECOME alpha), do things because YOU want to, say things because YOU think they're funny, etc. Be nonreactive. If a girl flakes, its "oh well, her loss".
Very aware of this.

What I mean by sometimes having to force being non reactive I mean when not in state. I can be very state dependent, when I'm not with friends or in state I overthink too much.
 

Alvafe

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if you want a state of mind to help just think, what you if a total stranger heard your a joke you told your frinds saying it not funny? you would ignore that person like nothing and keep talking and laughing with your friends.

that is the kind of thing you should do, make then like if you don't know then, so why you would care if you don't know? and use it
 
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