How to stop/discourage contact with a BPD after leaving them?

twoface262

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I finally did it!

I packed my bags, moved to a different state, and said "ADIOS!" to a borderline. It's been six months with no contact and now out of the blue, she's turned into a full-blown psychopath.

How do I deal with the on-going smear campaigns? I've already threatened legal action if I'm not left alone.

Just the other day she found out what my desk number was at a "no bull****" company that'd fire me over her actions. She called several times non-stop in a 20 minute period while I was away from my desk, having an open office, my coworkers were pissed (No way to mute the phone). I'm pissed that she managed to find my work number (turns out the reception desk gave it to her). I had my work number changed and directly informed the reception desk NOT TO give my F!@#ing number out unless it's official business. I'm afraid she's going to find my work number again and end up costing me my job (again, no bull**** and they don't care if it's another person's actions -- even if I get a protective order against her).

She's also found out where I'm living now (I have no idea how), but I'm several states over so I don't think she'll randomly show up at my door (hopefully).

I understand that these types will stop at nothing to try and ruin your life after leaving them.... How should I handle this?
 

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twoface262

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Unfortunately no... It's a massive city, but I wonder if calling to have them do a health check would be ok.
 

Atom Smasher

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A welfare check usually implies the person is suicidal. I'm not to sure that's a good idea.

The way I got mine to back off was simply telling her if she contacts me in any way, shape or form, I'd bring the police out. She finally stopped after that.
 

twoface262

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That's exactly what I did. Now I'm getting occasional calls (that I'm ignoring) on my cellphone from a hidden number (hers is blocked).

Hopefully, it subsides -.. If it gets worse than that I'll definitely follow through with a protective order. Does anyone have experience with that, especially going over state lines? I think they usually require a day in court, but I don't think that'd be possible for either party.

BTW, leaving was the best decision I've ever made. I just wish the ride was smoother than this.
 
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billtx49

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There are multiple spam call blocking apps that once you enter her number the most she can do is leave a voicemail after no call ring. Then delete the voicemails.
 

MountainSlide

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I finally did it!

I packed my bags, moved to a different state, and said "ADIOS!" to a borderline. It's been six months with no contact and now out of the blue, she's turned into a full-blown psychopath.

How do I deal with the on-going smear campaigns? I've already threatened legal action if I'm not left alone.

Just the other day she found out what my desk number was at a "no bull****" company that'd fire me over her actions. She called several times non-stop in a 20 minute period while I was away from my desk, having an open office, my coworkers were pissed (No way to mute the phone). I'm pissed that she managed to find my work number (turns out the reception desk gave it to her). I had my work number changed and directly informed the reception desk NOT TO give my F!@#ing number out unless it's official business. I'm afraid she's going to find my work number again and end up costing me my job (again, no bull**** and they don't care if it's another person's actions -- even if I get a protective order against her).

She's also found out where I'm living now (I have no idea how), but I'm several states over so I don't think she'll randomly show up at my door (hopefully).

I understand that these types will stop at nothing to try and ruin your life after leaving them.... How should I handle this?
Someone had told me this before. And I’m pretty sure it’s true. If you tell them how much you’re in love them it’s supposed to trigger their fear of abandonment and send them running. Whenever my ex bpd contacts me it triggers me into acting like a nut job. She’s usually gone quite quickly.
 

051AV

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LOL oh the smear campaign yep been there, scrambling to save my reputation, they are sneaky as fvck, if you let her in on some of your dirty laundry she will use it against you. I learned quickly BPDs want to know every little thing about you and I mean everything your deep down dirty secrets. Never give them any ammunition I watched my back with the ex, she absolutely hated it when I started digging into her past. It is better if you let the BPD dump you its a mistake I learned, never dump them, they start plotting revenge against you. She's loosing her sh*t because you dumped her and she wants to see you pay for that mistake, good luck you're going to need it :rofl:
 
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will123

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Check out b0mb3r once used victim gets SMS and phone calls which can not be blocked.
File a police report for stalking.
Yep, and keep a diary of everytime she calls, stalks or any other way she tries to initiate contact. Keep all evidence so you have it ready for police or the courts. It should be easy that way to get a restraining order.
 

Beowolf

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I actually did get an RO for stalking because she had prior hospitalizations for mental health issues. This still did not stop her until she was imprisoned 3 times for violating my RO ten years ago. If it continues call law enforcement to advise you about what you can do and record every interaction from now on.
 

backseatjuan

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About recording every interaction. If you have android it’s easy, google for reptilicus app android. It’s russian app, records everything. People here use it for business.
 

Spaz

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Take proactive action by informing ur immediate supervisor of ur situation.

Also inform him of the steps you intend to take with regards to ur EX's propensity to stalk you at work.

Then lastly ask his advice.

This should help cover you at the work place since ur immediate supervisor is now obliged to assist or at least defend you should there be unwanted internal queries.
 

Alvafe

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guys you need to learn ONE little thing, threats, complains don't solve anything, that is weak, you need to learn to make promises and make then real.

in op case he said he would sue her, ok do it now, don't feel bad, shame, or even care about her, be ruthless, sue her and place a retraining order on her, he was you doing all this you would be in jail now, so don't drag this longer, be ruthless and take your life on your hands
 
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