How to stop being a nice guy?

[oneboy21]

How do i stop being a nice guy or come across as a nice guy?
Its true that being a nice guy i don't get chances as much. Divorced and older women, or women with children show interest on me. how do i stop being a nice guy or come across a nice guy. I was raised and taught to be a nice guy from my childhood so its kind of haunting me from then

 

[rakishness]

1. Say whats on your mind

Nice guys never do that

 

[Igetit!]

I used to be a nice guy and I don't really have any secrets on how I escaped.

Yeah,I used to be a nice guy too. In fact,I still remember the first time a girl said that to me.

We had "dated" for like 2 or 3 weeks,and I wanted to make everything "official". And of course,she kind of backed away once I mentioned this. When I asked her why,she said "you're too nice". When she told me that,I was flat out confused. "Too nice?" I said. Then I said,"Too nice...that's bad?". "Yeah" she said.

Anyway,it took me a while,but I finally was able to get a grip on the whole "being nice" thing.

One thing that REALLY HELPED me was when I learned that "being nice" had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH ATTRACTION.

Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING.

It's too much to get into,but for me,I had confused "attraction" with being a "good" person. They're not the same.

The reason I was confused was because I considered myself to be basically a good person. I tried to be nice,treat people right,be helpful whenever I could be,etc,etc. I would be this way with women,but I was constantly rejected and put into the friendzone. Then,I see guys who were rude,who'd yell,holler,mistreat women,have them crying,and do all kinds of cruel/demeaning things to them,and women were just totally "in love" with these guys. And I,being the "good" person was repeatedly rejected over and over.

So after seeing that over and over again year after year,something FINALLY dawned on me:If woman after woman fall for the "bad boy",then this can't be a coincedence. If not only me,but other guys complain about the same situations happening with them and other women,then I knew that somewhere,I had to be missing something.

So I broke this thing down logically...

If I'm nice and do good things for women,but they want nothing to do with me,but other guys,who not only DON'T DO anything good or helpful for women,but intentionally,ON PURPOSE,do things to HURT them seem to get any woman they want DESPITE their hurtful behavior,then attraction can't have anything to do with "being nice".

It can't.

So if being nice doesn't create attraction,and...
being rude or mean doesn't destroy it,then attraction has NOTHING TO DO with whether you're a good or bad person.

When I learned this,it was easy to stop being a "nice guy" because being nice doesn't have anything to do with attraction.

It was like finding out you have extra weight on you because of something you don't need.

So when I got rid of it,it just made me feel freer.

If you being "nice" is because you're trying to win over women,you can drop it man.

It's flat out is useless when it comes to women.

 

[DJDamage]

How do i stop being a nice guy or come across as a nice guy?

By being a selfish a$$hole (putting your needs and wants first) and loving yourself in what you do.

The ironic thing about all this is that when you act like a selfish a$$hole, you are essentially mirroring hot women typical behaviour.

Women (especially the hot ones) have become conditioned by society in gaining a selfish egotestical attitude due to the high level of attention they have been getting. Therefore women are not seeking men who are going to be always nice and accommodating to their whims because it will devalues men precieved commodity power in their eyes. Women aren't looking to be fvcked by 'slaves' (which is essentially what a supplicating grovelling AFC's are) they are looking to be fvcked by a king. A king is always above the queen in both attitude and power.

Women are therefore looking for men with greater value then they have , thus guys who are looking after their own selfish wants and needs FIRST without catering to these women's whims FIRST but rather SECOND, are looked upon with greater sense of value.

oh and also check out the two youtube links listed below as part of my signature.

 

[Maxtro]

I believe that Nice Guy is a misnomer. In essence a nice guy is somebody who doesn't take risks and go for what he wants. That behavior results in being seen as polite, therefore one is a nice guy.

I believe though that somebody who doesn't take risks and try to get what he want's isn't a nice guy, he's a coward.

--------------------------------
Coward

–noun
1. a person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, opposition, pain, etc.; a timid or easily intimidated person.

--------------------------------
Of course being a nice guy sounds better than being a coward.

If you want to stop being seen as a nice guy. Take risks, be ready to fail, don't hide that you want something. Of course it's all easier said than done.

 

[Robert28]

i'll share a story with you really quick on how to NOT be a nice guy. there's this really hot girl who cuts my hair. this is the girl that could walk in anywhere and TONS of guys would be bowing down to her. well, the few times i got my hair cut by her, wed just talk about random stuff and laugh. i never asked her out though, never showed any interest what so ever. i guess it shocked her or something, because the other day she cut my hair she randomly brings up, "so when are going to hangout sometime?" and i replied with "what do you mean hangout?". this probably threw her off even more as i didnt fall over myself saying "yeah sure i'd love to!", but instead i put her on point to tell me what she meant exactly by "hanging out". she then said "like you know, go out and have a drink or something" and i said "oh you mean like a date?" and she laughed and was like "well yeah". i calmly just said, "i dunno, i'll have to let you know when i'm free" and i swear the look on her face was PRICELESS! she was like well uhhh ok here's my number, and i gave her mine also. the very next day i got a text from her. the point is, i never once told her how pretty she was, i never mentioned hanging out, and when she brought it up i didnt want to give her the power and didnt want to act like i didnt have anything going on in my life. in other words, she wasnt my main priority. i have a feeling she has always been that with most guys shes dated or that have tried to get with her. i wasn't a d*ck to her, but i also wasnt going to kiss her @$$ just because she was hot. shes just a girl. she puts her pants on the same way i do, one leg at a time. now had this been a few years ago, i would have asked her out the first time i ever met her and would have either been rejected or been so far in the friendzone that i would have had my own zipcode.

 

[Igetit!]

i'll share a story with you really quick on how to NOT be a nice guy. there's this really hot girl who cuts my hair. this is the girl that could walk in anywhere and TONS of guys would be bowing down to her. well, the few times i got my hair cut by her, wed just talk about random stuff and laugh. i never asked her out though, never showed any interest what so ever. i guess it shocked her or something, because the other day she cut my hair she randomly brings up, "so when are going to hangout sometime?" and i replied with "what do you mean hangout?". this probably threw her off even more as i didnt fall over myself saying "yeah sure i'd love to!", but instead i put her on point to tell me what she meant exactly by "hanging out". she then said "like you know, go out and have a drink or something" and i said "oh you mean like a date?" and she laughed and was like "well yeah". i calmly just said, "i dunno, i'll have to let you know when i'm free" and i swear the look on her face was PRICELESS! she was like well uhhh ok here's my number, and i gave her mine also. the very next day i got a text from her. the point is, i never once told her how pretty she was, i never mentioned hanging out, and when she brought it up i didnt want to give her the power and didnt want to act like i didnt have anything going on in my life. in other words, she wasnt my main priority. i have a feeling she has always been that with most guys shes dated or that have tried to get with her. i wasn't a d*ck to her, but i also wasnt going to kiss her @$$ just because she was hot. shes just a girl. she puts her pants on the same way i do, one leg at a time. now had this been a few years ago, i would have asked her out the first time i ever met her and would have either been rejected or been so far in the friendzone that i would have had my own zipcode.

NOW THIS...I LIKE.


+1 REP.

 

[Robert28]

haha thanks. yeah i was proud of myself for playing it so cool. now i'm not going to lie, the whole nervousness was still there but i covered it up well i think. that i can't seem to make go away but i've learned how to hide it with most girls. knowing my luck though shes probably some hot psycho chick with bipolar disorder.

 

[The Scoot]

Keep us posted on this Robert. This sounds awesome. Let us know how it goes.

 

[kingman]

The most easy way to get rid of being nice with girls is to actually do approaching. After you have done alot of approaches you will see girls in a much more different light than before. You will automatically remove being to nice in time with field experience.

 

[The Muscle Guy]

The hard part is not being a nice guy. The hard part is not being a jerk. I used to be a nice guy too. Nice and shy. When I stopped being nice, I turned into a jerk. That got me the low self esteem women.

Now I found a happy balance. I don't take any crap from women, but I can still compliment them or be interested in their life.

 

[Elmoshow21]

you have to give a girl sugar and spice

 

[Accension]

oneboy21, the best way to make friends is to be friendly right?
Friendly being defined by wikipedia as "Friendly means showing kindness to someone, as a friend would behave."

A nice guy is typically friendly and thus gets friend zoned.

The best way to break free from being seen as only a friend is to act like a lover by being intimate.

"An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It is a relationship in which the participants know or trust one another very well or are confidants of one another, or a relationship in which there is physical or emotional intimacy."

The above is completely done wrong by the AFC nice guy, simply he thinks he can gain lover status from emotional intimacy alone and hence providing her with the same intimacy she has from her girlfriends.

To stop coming accross as a nice guy you should have physical intimacy which would only make for a sexual relationship but for a proper, meaningful LTR you'd need both.

All you need to do is act like a lover, combing physical and emotional intimacy.

Which is a subject covered all over the forum.