How to Start the Approach Game

[Man'sThirdEye]

Part of me says just F****** DO IT but part of me also recognizes that I have no skill really when it comes to approaching women straight up. I sometimes catch girls looking. I'm a 6'2", fit, and I guess above average looking guy from what I've gathered from past experiences. However, walking up to a random girl or group of girls is still intimidating to say the least.

Any techniques/tips/anything that would be useful to help make my first step?

I have a few plates right now, one that I'm fuvking and one that I'm not (she's a virgin) but I got these plates because they either came to me or I met them through friends, etcetera. None of the plates or girlfriends in my life have ever come from me walking up to a girl and talking to her. I want to start this phase of my DJ education. I want better looking plates, higher quality plates, AWESOME PLATES. But I am having trouble gathering the tactics and ability to simply walk up to a girl and introduce myself.

However, I feel that if I am able to conquer this barrier, I'll be flooded with plates and endless options. Keeping the options I have now has been relatively easy because I don't think they are used to getting positive male attention from a fit and (I guess) attractive guy like myself.

I know this is the next step, I'm just having some hard times just DOING it. I may be trying to get over my fear of rejection a little bit and I've been dabbling in the online/tinder scene with very little success from that. I want to gain some confidence, especially before the winter due to the fact that I'll need to see my ex girlfriend in the winter (she's in my friend group and we just recently had a falling out) and I want a plethora of plates and ability to get plates easily so I don't fall back into being an AFC watching her have her fun and try to get her revenge on me by making out and fuvking all my guy friends. I want to be done with her trying to control my life and emotions and I know that once I see her again I WILL BE AFFECTED by her advances towards me or maybe even towards my friends.

That being said, this is a critical moment in my evolution as a DJ and the clock is ticking quickly. I'm certainly feeling the pressure a little because I know and can feel that this is a critical moment. I'm using too many buffers (porn, my less attractive plate that im fuvking, my other plate who won't give me any bc she's a virgin, online messaging and tinder, just to name a few).

I'm starting to collect some semblence of confidence but I am stillnot confident enough to stright up walk up to a girl and say "hello". But the thing is, I know I need to start doing it so I don't fall back into my old ways. It's time for a breakthrough for sure. Any tips at all?

 

[Trojan3000]

Take it from me, I've been going out and approaching women officially (not going to count my non clubbing years), since about 19-20 years old. The BEST advice I can give you is find a friend who also enjoys going out, and go out, every weekend. Just go out, every weekend. and the rest will handle itself. It's almost impossible to go out to a nice club, where there are ton of beautiful women all dressed up, looking sexy, with great music, alcohol, and energy.. and not talk to women. Infact, lets say you are super shy, .. after seeing guys come up and scoop away girls that u were aweing over standing 2 feet from but not interacting with.. you'll eventually start feeling as if someone just came and took ur girl away. because, u were over there fantasizing about talking to her, dancing with her, boning her, or w.e the case may be.

Now, another piece of advice i would say is, look your best, smell your best. Nothing like looking sharp, nice haircut, good clothes, (doesnt have to be fancy, infact, id not try to be too fancy, never wear a suit, especially if ur older, because ull fit a provider role and women will use you for drinks and maybe try to make u a sugar daddy). and wearing some nice cologne.

If you don't like music, probably shouldnt go to clubs. The biggest thing for me is i enjoy music, so i can have a really good time just vibing to the music, dancing and being myself.. A lot of my "practice" early on, was just me going, dancing, enjoying the music, and watching as girls would come and hover around me.. and still not say anything to them.. because id just be enjoying me.. If you can get that part down, half the battle is done.

Now, when you're actually getting into it: some basic tips:
1) never approach a girl from behind. Always from the front or the side, or get her to turn to you at least. It's just something about the way girls brains are wired, probably guys too

2) Try to find a girl whos at the bar. its much easier to approach girls who are at the bar than a girl whos in the crowd dancing or with a buncha friends around her. Since its the club, the bar doesnt have seats usually. she will be standing there, kinda waiting for a friend or surveying everything as she just watches

3) when you talk to a girl, no matter what yous ay.. The Interaction Does not Start Nor End There. It only ends if and when she leaves the club. Until then, anything is game.
Ie: you go up to a girl and tell a girl some witty validating comment about how she looks in her dress. she smiles, you tell her your name and she tells you yours.. but kinda just turns and continues dancing with her friend or the crowd just gets heavy.. you tell her soemthing like ig ot my eye on you, smile or wink and just move around. This interaction is not over. It just began. Don't tell yourself Oh man **** . thats all i got to say.

More than not, a girl will go and do her thing once or twice or even multiple times, before u end up finding her again and making out with her and then taking her home. You're building attraction, you're building suspense.. if she likes u enough and u peak her interest enough, the moments when she cant see u in the crowd or anywhere, is the moments taht build this longing..

and thats when u pop back up when she least expects it.. (by then, probably having talked to at least one or two other girls tho be careful not to let her catch u, some girls will get upset with that unless they recognize their your friends)

4) Don't get too drunk and timing. Learn to pace yourself. You need to be at your most optimal. My friends and I know that if we drink too little , or too much our game is thrown off.. You need to find your optimal zone because this is a zone where you're clear headed, yet still loose enough to not second guess any of your moves. Timing to me means knowing that after a certain hour, almost every single girl is drunk, and if you can find one that is not with any man, its easy pickings. Or at least have the mindset that it is. No single girl wants to be alone in the club, when they see almost every other girl has found a guy to go home with.

 

[Trojan3000]

^ there's a lot more that goes into this but I don't really want to type out a whole guide. Like I mentioned in the first bold sentence, The Best thing to do is to find someone to go out with and just go out every weekend, and hit up every club in rotation. Game is developed, not sold, nor told.

 

[7onriverI f]

Trojans advice is fairly spot on and works. Personally I've never gone out and never will go out wearing a suit to a bar or club and never associated with anyone that does so can't comment on that. Alcohol can be fun but I tend to stay away from it. You don't need it to get results. You can go out with a friend or choose to meet people there. Some guys know your out to meet girls and even wing ya. Usually they are out to meet girls as well. Some girls are even out to meet girls and I've had them asking me if I would wing them. Usually get approached by girls when I go out and like trojan said they hover around. Eye contact is huge looking at girls across the room and then they come closer.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Honestly you just start doing it. Ask them an opinion on something. Maybe something like "Hey, just wanted to get your opinion on something...I have a friend who tells me this shirt is definitely my color and another who says it definitely isn't. Was hoping I could get a stranger's opinion to break the tie. What do you think?"

Or anything like that. And then just start making small talk and see if you can get their number or take them on an insta-date.


If they say they like it maybe say something like "Wow...thanks for taking my side! I owe you a coffee, what do you like to drink?"

If they say they don't like it say something like "Wow you are really tough...maybe I can change your opinion over a cup of coffee...lets go grab one and see."

And just start walking with her and be like "Well there is this cool little coffee shop just up the street, lets go" and just start walking and ASSUME THE SALE that she will come with you. Don't ask her to go just lead her there.

Above everything just be playful and have fun and don't take their responses too seriously. You will probably be nervous and uncomfortable doing this at first and will probably screw it up a bunch of times until you become more comfortable.

That's OK. You CANNOT become good at anything without a bunch of learning experiences first. You are literally doing something for the first time, don't have unrealistic expectations that it will go great immediately. It likely won't. But just like Lionel Messi didn't become a magician the first time he touched a soccer ball, you won't become a magician the first time you try this. It took him countless hours of practice and attempts at doing things that didn't work before they ultimately did.

The good thing is you will likely need far less practice at this then Lionel Messi did to become wildly successful at this.