How to smartly deal with this girl in my classes?

[Who is John Galt?]

There is a girl in several of my classes and we sit together (initially coincidentally) in them so this raises the stakes if I don't handle this right because I will be next to her for the next few months. I am not necessarily looking for a relationship but it would be great if one developed. We both just began school so if we just became friends that would be okay too, although obviously not the preferred result. I don't want to fall into the LJBF zone except as a last resort. How do I gradually begin to advance things? I don't want a formal date or anything. One day we have a two hour break between classes. I was thinking of asking her to lunch (I hate coffee so a coffee "date" is out the picture) on that day. Is that a good idea? Could I do something better, like ask her to go to dinner or something else on a Friday night?

I haven't shown my intentions yet. I haven't even gotten her phone number yet. Could I wait a bit longer before asking her for it or go for it with a "in case I have questions about the reading/assignment what is your number?" or a more point-blank "what is your #? we should get together sometime" etc.

As far as whether she is into me, she does usually laugh at even the most slightly funny thing I say and several times she has preened herself excessively in class. Today, for instance, I was looking in her direction but she logically could have thought I was checking her out sneakily and began to preen her hair excessively immediately after that. I almost always come to class after her so I am the one who sits next to her but we sat together by chance the first time (we happened to walk in together, she sat down and I sat next to her) and she could have sat somewhere else the next day but she sat in the same seat she was in the day before. Still, that suggests she likes me, but that could be just as a friend.

She also has a ring but the ring is in the middle of her finger, not at the base. I don't know if that has any significance. It has no rock on it so it could be a class ring or something. She has not mentioned having a boyfriend and likely would have if she wanted to deter me.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[MightyMate]

Dont date class girls.

 

[Who is John Galt?]

I usually agree with that but this one is one of the hottest around here and I am in the catbird seat with her. I have to take a shot at least.

 

[Who is John Galt?]

42 views but only one reply. Come on peanut gallery, give me your 2 cents.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

I dunno why people think that it's either "im gonna have a relationship with her" or "do not attempt anything",just get her phone number and take it from there.

 

[Phyzzle]

(I hate coffee so a coffee "date" is out the picture)

Get some chai tea, then.

Yes, you have to get her number. Only so much gaming you can do in the 30 second spans of walking in and out of class.

And do the point-blank approach. None of this "friends first" crap. If you say "we should get together sometime" with a confident smile, instead of "can we study together sometime", then you'll know right away if she thinks you're attractive or not, instead of studying with her for a month to build comfort for no good reason.

Plus, doing it point blank is, well, confident, and of course chicks find that attractive.

 

[Cod3r]

Relax and just talk to her, she'll ask for your number if you attract her... I've had girls steal my phone and dial there phone just to have my digits, its all in being relaxed... girls like to chase too... gives them somethin to talk about to their little pointless friends


-Cod3r

 

[Phyzzle]

she'll ask for your number if you attract her...

Maybe, but I don't suggest waiting around for that. Some girls initiate kissing, or call me for the 1st date. But it's generally up to the guy to "make a move."

(There's generally no reason to do the slightest amount of work or risk any rejection when other guys are already trying to get with her.)

 

[DJ4Life]

geez you are asking like a chump

you are sitting right beside her in class, how easier can it get? you have bascially 2566 topics right off the bat to talk to her about: homework, lessons, teachers, weather, movies, music, project, anything you fancy

gaming in school i also suggest not being so aggresive, it can take a toll on your reputation

you can make a move by flirting her like crazy, create sexual tension, attraction, but be sure to make her the one to ask for your number or set up an excuse date ex. hey you wanna meet up this sat, i dont know how to do my math hw etc, girls do that all the time, they are just too shy to flat out ask guys on a date in hs

and if you have done everything right and she likes you enough, she will ask you on an excuse date

 

[GaryUranga]

yeah create attraction, just work your game on her but not too staright out, just cue attraction on her, if something happens then it'll happen, just do your thing.

 

[Who is John Galt?]

I am not in high school (I can see how someone could assume this and I have no problem with it being in this forum, since the basic principles of class apply in HS and college, grad school). I just began law school. The system for first year students is unique in that you have basically have the same group (called a "section") of people in most of your classes. She is in three of my four classes (we sit together in all three so that is an advantage I have). The section meets Tuesday-Friday, and some of the people from the section are in one of our Monday classes as well. What all this does is create a very small community where everyone will know everyone. So the comments about reputation are good. Reputation in this situation is probably even more important than in HS, and certainly more so than in undergrad.

How sure can waiting be? I am leaning toward asking her to lunch tomorrow (I don't like chai either ). If this would be a bad move can someone tell me why? It is only the second week and I could wait a bit longer, although the danger always is that someone else may move in while you wait. I don't want to develop a reputation that will cause me problems for the next 3 years. I already have a 2nd target (who kept looking at me in class today and playing with her hair. we locked eyes for a second too before she turned away, and started playing with her hair. I did mirror her for much of the class so I did apply something I learned from here lol. I am waiting to see how #1 turns out before going after her, even though she is substantially hotter than #1. 1 is a 7, #2 is a 8.5) and don't want to have that screwed up because of the first.

Since we all just began law school things are very fluid now. People don't know each other, no one has really hooked up yet, there aren't a bunch of cliques yet, so now (the first month or so) is an ideal time to get things rolling.

What would you do in my shoes?

 

[Who is John Galt?]

On further review (and after reading some old threads here), I noticed she hasn't dropped any hints about getting together, i.e. "what are you doing after class?". The only exception to this is the first day when, during a 30 minute break between classes, she said "So, I'll see you in (name of the next class)?". Translation: I want to hang out with you during that time. I didn't take that up, which was probably a mistake in hindsight, partly because I didn't want to be all over her at the beginning and partly because I didn't want to make sitting next to her part of a plan. Since then she has not done anything like that. When we leave our final class of the day she always says "See you tomorrow." Maybe she isn't ripe yet, although she laughs at virtually anything I say. I am seeing two paths:

#1--Go with what I was already thinking and ask her to lunch tomorrow between classes. I could first say "what are you doing in the 2 hours between classes?" and use her respond to gauge her interest. Then casually say "Oh, well I am going to lunch. Why don't you come with me?" or something to that effect. This will prevent any unease about it from her if she has a BF.

#2--Wait another week, try to raise her interest during that time (I hadn't really turned it up to the max. until yesterday) as well as work on chick #2. At minimum, working on chick #2 would raise her IL if she is interested because it would make her a bit jealous (I could even go as far as saying "chick #2 is hot" when she speaks during class).

EDIT: Damn it! I just remembered something she said today which was probably a hint. I was mentioning how there is actually a rodeo in South NJ and she said something along the lines of "I'll have to go to it sometime." I should have seized that opportunity.

 

[Indifference Kills]

"hey im gonna go grab a bite to eat, wanna come?"
dont dance around the subject, girls catch onto it very quickly

 

[Who is John Galt?]

You are right. Thanks

 

[Indifference Kills]

not a problem let me know how it goes, and if it doesnt work out still know you're a hell of a catch and shes missing out.

 

[Who is John Galt?]

I decided to go with waiting a week to work on her more and also see how things go with #2. After our first class ended she said "see you in 2 hours." In order to semi-justify me not doing anything during that time I said I was tired and needed a nap. Her response to that, mainly in body language, seemed to show dissapointment and sadness. When she came into our other class she was normal during the first few minutes but during the rest of the class she seemed to be down as well as nervous at the end (fidgeting). Then when she left class she said "see you tomorrow" like she always does but it sounded like a formality. She was definately not her normal self. This could be because of something else that happened during that time or because of me. She may think I am not interested in her being anything beyond a friend. She may have taken my "I need a nap" as a rejection, i.e., I would rather nap than hang out with her... Anyway, this changes the plan and I will have to ask her for lunch tomorrow.

edit: the ring she wears moved to her right hand today. Maybe she realizes it was making me less likely to do anything and moved it to show she is not engaged/married.

 

[Zerotwoonenine]

this girl is giving you signals, but i go with above, dont date girls in class, this will seriously screw up your education. My advice is, get her number and DJ her after school and at lunch times, but just ignore her in class, so in the end, you get the grades and the girl, even if you discover you dont want her, she could have a friend or sister that is worth going after.

 

[Who is John Galt?]

Well here is the update. I asked her to go to lunch and she agreed. The conversation kept going, she did most of the talking, and I made her laugh several times. I picked up the tab (I think it is good to do that the first time) and at that point she said she'd pay next time and we could make doing this a Friday tradition. That suggests she had a reasonable good time and wants to continue. I dropped her off next to her car and she said "Thanks for lunch, it was a good idea, I'll see you on Tuesday".. She didn't say anything like "it was fun", although she did say it was a good idea.

How do you think it went? I thought it went well until what she said at the very end.

The other important note is that she did not mention having a boyfriend so I assume that she does not have one...the question is whether she wants me? She also did ask how the inside of the dorms are when we were driving back, since I dorm and she doesn't. Was this a subtle way of saying "Let's hang out more at your place"? I have to go somewhere fairly far today so I didn't invite her back.

We are both new to this area so being friends would be great but if I can I would like to be more than friends. What are my odds based on what I have said in this thread? Thanks in advance.

 

[aftershock]

Dont date class girls.

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.


Right; personally I'd suggest JUST making friends with her. Sounds crazy! But you'll find that the net benefit of sacrificing one HB, you'll get access to far more through her social circle.

And just because you're a friend does not mean you're in the "friends zone".

Give it some thought.

 

[Canibus27]

I almost hooked up with a girl in my class. We both had a obvious attraction. We didn't talk until we found out we had a mutual friend. It was obvious that she liked me, but I never "chased" her. Eventually, she stopped trying and we became "friends" that didn't talk much. Basically, I didn't want to feel uncomfortable during class if things fell apart. Now, if you want to do this then do it. But, just think about what may happen if things do not work out. You guys sit next to each other. Just think about the tension and how uncomfortable it would be for you, and her. But, if you want to do this, then you go and do it. Keep me posted.

Mark