How to response to a situation like this.

[biroa]

Hi Guys,

I need some feedback. I regularly met a woman for 4 months and have sex with her. We went for hiking on the weekends, theater etc ... It was between somewhere in starting LTR status and just having fun .
One day when i visited her, she was cold and distanced.
I have asked her several times what is her problem. She did not say anything at all. We went to bed in silence and we slept there without words. I have asked her shall i go away because, i can not see she would be happy for me. She said, she does not understand why i say that. In that night few hours later she moved back to her own bed. ( I was at her place and we slept in another bed not there where she usually sleep.) She reasoned this with the loudness of the clock and the refrigerator. (It sounds ridiculous i know, but she mentioned this too when we had sex and slept there together that sometimes she does not like these sounds.)

According to her, she asked me to go with her to the other bed but i do not remember to this fact.
All in all i almost left that night. I was angry because of her behavior but I stayed and we slept separately. In the next morning i asked her what was this thing yesterday without anger.
But she did not give me any answer. She told me i should let it go and she only talks about things she wants. I have tried my best to let it go although it bothered me.
On that day we went for hiking but she criticized me all day and she was nasty.
When we went home in the evening i tried to approach her in hope of having a make-up-sex but she refused it. This was the point I sat up and i asked her to explain her behaviour. I told her it is not about the sex it is about her behaviour in the last two days without answer. She refused to answer. I became angry. I packed my stuff and told her i leave. She told me i should go back to the bed with her but i told her i go back if she tells me what is her problem. She refused to answer and i left. After this i haven't seen her although "we planned" to meet. We had chat after this but i stepped back from this "relationship" because she escalated things further with nasty answers in the chat.
So i stepped back further and further.
Later when we haven't spoken for a week she sent me a message to me and asked why am i distanced.
I told her because she haven't told me anything why she was nasty with me and she did not provide any answer her behaviour and since that time she was just nasty with me. I asked back why she haven't sent me any message earlier. She told me because i was distanced.

All-in-all her behaviour escalated after one week silence as well untill that point i banned her on FB.
I tried to make a conversation but it was over.

My question, what did i wrong? I think i should have left on the first night when she did not explain why she is not happy for me.
But i am curious about your feedback.
My other question, where is that point when i can ask a woman about why she does not want to have sex after a situation like this. Was that improper question?
I haven't had a problem with this in an LTR relationship.

My other question. Is that an unrealistic expectation to get an honest answer in a situation like this? I mean after 3 months.

Thanks for the feedback.
PS: Sorry for the english I am not a native speaker.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Correct. Any time a women acts ****ty you mustn’t reinforce that behavior. Check her on that shvt immediately and if she plays coy get the hell out of there. Withdrawing non-sexual attention is the best way to get her attention.

Also, you can’t ever “ask” for sex. Especially can’t in non exclusive relationships. Sex is to be expected and when she withdraws the pvssy you need to check her on it immediately by withdrawing your non-sexual attention.

This one is done, OP. Move on.

 

[biroa]

Hi EyeBRollin,

Thanks for the feedback. Just a quick question. In my interpretation asking for sex or asking why she withdraws sex is two different thing. Maybe l do not understand you! So i should not ever ask any sex related thing in a non exclusive relationship?

Thanks again!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Hi EyeBRollin,

Thanks for the feedback. Just a quick question. In my interpretation asking for sex or asking why she withdraws sex is two different thing. Maybe l do not understand you! So i should not ever ask any sex related thing in a non exclusive relationship?

Thanks again!

She must at minimum be a girlfriend to directly ask a woman why she isn’t fvcking you. For the casual plate spinners, they can indirectly confront their plate by withdrawing non sexual attention. Hopefully she cares enough to notice. It is not appropriate to ask a casual plate why she stopped fvcking you.

 

[Grounded eagle]

Hi Guys,

I need some feedback. I regularly met a woman for 4 months and have sex with her. We went for hiking on the weekends, theater etc ... It was between somewhere in starting LTR status and just having fun .
One day when i visited her, she was cold and distanced.
I have asked her several times what is her problem. She did not say anything at all. We went to bed in silence and we slept there without words. I have asked her shall i go away because, i can not see she would be happy for me. She said, she does not understand why i say that. In that night few hours later she moved back to her own bed. ( I was at her place and we slept in another bed not there where she usually sleep.) She reasoned this with the loudness of the clock and the refrigerator. (It sounds ridiculous i know, but she mentioned this too when we had sex and slept there together that sometimes she does not like these sounds.)

According to her, she asked me to go with her to the other bed but i do not remember to this fact.
All in all i almost left that night. I was angry because of her behavior but I stayed and we slept separately. In the next morning i asked her what was this thing yesterday without anger.
But she did not give me any answer. She told me i should let it go and she only talks about things she wants. I have tried my best to let it go although it bothered me.
On that day we went for hiking but she criticized me all day and she was nasty.
When we went home in the evening i tried to approach her in hope of having a make-up-sex but she refused it. This was the point I sat up and i asked her to explain her behaviour. I told her it is not about the sex it is about her behaviour in the last two days without answer. She refused to answer. I became angry. I packed my stuff and told her i leave. She told me i should go back to the bed with her but i told her i go back if she tells me what is her problem. She refused to answer and i left. After this i haven't seen her although "we planned" to meet. We had chat after this but i stepped back from this "relationship" because she escalated things further with nasty answers in the chat.
So i stepped back further and further.
Later when we haven't spoken for a week she sent me a message to me and asked why am i distanced.
I told her because she haven't told me anything why she was nasty with me and she did not provide any answer her behaviour and since that time she was just nasty with me. I asked back why she haven't sent me any message earlier. She told me because i was distanced.

All-in-all her behaviour escalated after one week silence as well untill that point i banned her on FB.
I tried to make a conversation but it was over.

My question, what did i wrong? I think i should have left on the first night when she did not explain why she is not happy for me.
But i am curious about your feedback.
My other question, where is that point when i can ask a woman about why she does not want to have sex after a situation like this. Was that improper question?
I haven't had a problem with this in an LTR relationship.

My other question. Is that an unrealistic expectation to get an honest answer in a situation like this? I mean after 3 months.

Thanks for the feedback.
PS: Sorry for the english I am not a native speaker.

Sounds like somewhere along the way,you did something that caused her to lose respect for you.Maybe you placated her somehow?More context is needed on how you acted towards her leading up to the initial disrespect from her.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I was angry because of her behavior but I stayed and we slept separately. In the next morning i asked her what was this thing yesterday without anger.

You should have left in the second she started acting like that and absolutely not stayed in her backup bed.
You should know your worth and keep yourself respect...

On that day we went for hiking but she criticized me all day and she was nasty.
When we went home in the evening i tried to approach her in hope of having a make-up-sex but she refused it.

Wow... You should NEVER accept such behavior and tell her that and on the flipside you should not be such a compliant puppy begging for sex.
All you get is compliant (if any) start fish sex which is disgusting in their first place. Dude you should know when to to stop and end the game so to speak.

She told me because i was distanced.

That's what is called gaslighting.

 

[Plinco]

Hi Guys,

I need some feedback. I regularly met a woman for 4 months and have sex with her. We went for hiking on the weekends, theater etc ... It was between somewhere in starting LTR status and just having fun .
One day when i visited her, she was cold and distanced.
I have asked her several times what is her problem. She did not say anything at all. We went to bed in silence and we slept there without words. I have asked her shall i go away because, i can not see she would be happy for me. She said, she does not understand why i say that. In that night few hours later she moved back to her own bed. ( I was at her place and we slept in another bed not there where she usually sleep.) She reasoned this with the loudness of the clock and the refrigerator. (It sounds ridiculous i know, but she mentioned this too when we had sex and slept there together that sometimes she does not like these sounds.)

According to her, she asked me to go with her to the other bed but i do not remember to this fact.
All in all i almost left that night. I was angry because of her behavior but I stayed and we slept separately. In the next morning i asked her what was this thing yesterday without anger.
But she did not give me any answer. She told me i should let it go and she only talks about things she wants. I have tried my best to let it go although it bothered me.
On that day we went for hiking but she criticized me all day and she was nasty.

There's something going on and she knows you know it, but she doesn't want to talk about it with you. That's no reason for her to act disrespectful though. She's giving you direct commands, that begs the question does she respect you at all. You need to be active, not reactive in these situations. You also need to be calm and firm. When you knew something was up you should have asked her "hey what's up? Everything alright?" and have persisted a bit.

When we went home in the evening i tried to approach her in hope of having a make-up-sex but she refused it. This was the point I sat up and i asked her to explain her behaviour. I told her it is not about the sex it is about her behaviour in the last two days without answer. She refused to answer. I became angry. I packed my stuff and told her i leave. She told me i should go back to the bed with her but i told her i go back if she tells me what is her problem. She refused to answer and i left.

Good job. Respect is better than sex. Should have left sooner though.

After this i haven't seen her although "we planned" to meet. We had chat after this but i stepped back from this "relationship" because she escalated things further with nasty answers in the chat.
So i stepped back further and further.
Later when we haven't spoken for a week she sent me a message to me and asked why am i distanced.
I told her because she haven't told me anything why she was nasty with me and she did not provide any answer her behaviour and since that time she was just nasty with me. I asked back why she haven't sent me any message earlier. She told me because i was distanced.

All-in-all her behaviour escalated after one week silence as well untill that point i banned her on FB.
I tried to make a conversation but it was over.

Well either she wanted you to get passionately aggressive towards her, or she wanted to end things.

My question, what did i wrong? I think i should have left on the first night when she did not explain why she is not happy for me.
But i am curious about your feedback.
My other question, where is that point when i can ask a woman about why she does not want to have sex after a situation like this. Was that improper question?

My other question. Is that an unrealistic expectation to get an honest answer in a situation like this? I mean after 3 months.

I would have expected a semi-honest answer by day one.

 

[zinc4]

Hi Guys,

I need some feedback. I regularly met a woman for 4 months and have sex with her. We went for hiking on the weekends, theater etc ... It was between somewhere in starting LTR status and just having fun .
One day when i visited her, she was cold and distanced.
I have asked her several times what is her problem. She did not say anything at all. We went to bed in silence and we slept there without words. I have asked her shall i go away because, i can not see she would be happy for me. She said, she does not understand why i say that. In that night few hours later she moved back to her own bed. ( I was at her place and we slept in another bed not there where she usually sleep.) She reasoned this with the loudness of the clock and the refrigerator. (It sounds ridiculous i know, but she mentioned this too when we had sex and slept there together that sometimes she does not like these sounds.)

According to her, she asked me to go with her to the other bed but i do not remember to this fact.
All in all i almost left that night. I was angry because of her behavior but I stayed and we slept separately. In the next morning i asked her what was this thing yesterday without anger.
But she did not give me any answer. She told me i should let it go and she only talks about things she wants. I have tried my best to let it go although it bothered me.
On that day we went for hiking but she criticized me all day and she was nasty.
When we went home in the evening i tried to approach her in hope of having a make-up-sex but she refused it. This was the point I sat up and i asked her to explain her behaviour. I told her it is not about the sex it is about her behaviour in the last two days without answer. She refused to answer. I became angry. I packed my stuff and told her i leave. She told me i should go back to the bed with her but i told her i go back if she tells me what is her problem. She refused to answer and i left. After this i haven't seen her although "we planned" to meet. We had chat after this but i stepped back from this "relationship" because she escalated things further with nasty answers in the chat.
So i stepped back further and further.
Later when we haven't spoken for a week she sent me a message to me and asked why am i distanced.
I told her because she haven't told me anything why she was nasty with me and she did not provide any answer her behaviour and since that time she was just nasty with me. I asked back why she haven't sent me any message earlier. She told me because i was distanced.

All-in-all her behaviour escalated after one week silence as well untill that point i banned her on FB.
I tried to make a conversation but it was over.

My question, what did i wrong? I think i should have left on the first night when she did not explain why she is not happy for me.
But i am curious about your feedback.
My other question, where is that point when i can ask a woman about why she does not want to have sex after a situation like this. Was that improper question?
I haven't had a problem with this in an LTR relationship.

My other question. Is that an unrealistic expectation to get an honest answer in a situation like this? I mean after 3 months.

Thanks for the feedback.
PS: Sorry for the english I am not a native speaker.

Nexttttt. Never look back OP. Next time walk away at the first big sign of disrespect.

 

[The Duke]

She has some issues, you have only scratched the surface. And her interest level isn't high enough. Better to find other prospects.