"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How to report an illegal immigrant?

StevieD

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I'd like to report a female to INS to have her azz deported. I know for a fact she is here illegally. She constantly talks about trying to find someone to marry so she can get papers....

She is a very attractive latina but a total maneater... will use anyone for anything.

I have tried researching how to report someone but it seems vague. Can anyone help?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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StevieD

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Danger said:
Who cares why he wants here deported? She's getting services for free essentially.

Go to the DHS website, they must have some way of reporting it.

However I would not expect much.

What is the url? Yeah I am not expecting much.... This is ridiculous there is like no clear way to report somebody.... I have done searches and nothing shows a direct form or number where you can give the information to be investigated. This girl is using the system.. she works as a bartender for cash so she doesn't pay any taxes.... and then has a bunch of afc's pay for all her other shvit.. She shouldn't be benefiting off of our system... I want her out
 

StevieD

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Bible Belt you have all the knowledge of goverment and proccesses help buddy!
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Call your local police station and ask them.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Deep Dish

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Call 1-866-DHS-2ICE (1-866-347-2423). It's the phone number at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to report suspicious activity.
 

ArcBound

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AreYouSingleFemale said:
Why are you so interested in having her deported? Did she reject you?
Or maybe cause she's an illegal immigrant. There is a legal way to immigrate to the United States and if she takes the illegal way, she deserves to be deported.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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If NAFTA didn't exist and we didn't subsidize the HELL out of corn production, most illegals wouldn't be here in the first place.

The end goal of gloablization is the completely openness of labor markets, which, in concert with the natural commoditization of labor, necessitate a high degree of mobility. Globalization exploits the non-ownership class by destroying countries to build up others. Some will say "gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette." The issue is that the ownership minority are the ones eating the omlette, and the consumer/worker are collectively the eggs.

Danger, how do you feel about the impact of globalization on people in the working class? I see that you don't particularly care what happens to people who came here illegally, even if their other option is to stay in their country and starve to death. That's an interesting viewpoint of the value of life on the basis of where one was born.
 

Bible_Belt

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StevieD said:
Bible Belt you have all the knowledge of goverment and proccesses help buddy!
The last I checked, INS, which is now Homeland Security, won't do anything unless there are a minimum number of illegals involved. I think it was ten or twelve.

Lots of people are here legally without being citizens or legal permanent residents. She could be on a student visa, or simply a visitor. The rules have probably changed a lot after 9/11, but my former mother-in-law simply had to leave the country and re-enter every six months.

As for the illegal immigration debate, it's hard to find any real evidence that they hurt the economy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Economic_impact_of_illegal_immigrants_in_the_United_States
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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StevieD

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Deep Dish said:
Call 1-866-DHS-2ICE (1-866-347-2423). It's the phone number at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to report suspicious activity.

I will give this a shot tomorrow.

Danger true that!
 
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