How to proceed after the 1st date? A bit mixed signals.

[RickTheToad]

Went on a date for some drinks and we seemed to meld well together. She said I look good and I am fun to be around. I enjoy your company. She took an Uber back to her place but she walked me out and when I went for the kiss she gave me both cheeks? Ideas on how to proceed? Hang back? Not sure how to play this. Haven't experienced this in a while.

 

[guru1000]

Went on a date for some drinks and we seemed to meld well together. She said I look good and I am fun to be around. I enjoy your company. She took an Uber back to her place but she walked me out and when I went for the kiss she gave me both cheeks? Ideas on how to proceed? Hang back? Not sure how to play this. Haven't experienced this in a while.

Some girls will do this even if they like you.

If you want to know for sure, reach out and ask for the date.

 

[RickTheToad]

Some girls will do this even if they like you.

If you want to know for sure, reach out and ask for the date.

I mean we were talking and she's like we do this again, and you need to text me all this info on something we were chatting about. I like attitude, demeanor, etc. She knew the bartender, so the bartender waived the drinks, but she was going to leave a tip, but I did instead. I thought it was going well.

Reach out when? I was a bit taken back. I feel like Austin Powers and I lost my mojo.

 

[guru1000]

I mean we were talking and she's like we do this again, and you need to text me all this info on something we were chatting about. I like attitude, demeanor, etc. She knew the bartender, so the bartender waived the drinks, but she was going to leave a tip, but I did instead. I thought it was going well.

Reach out when? I was a bit taken back. I feel like Austin Powers and I lost my mojo.

Cheek kisses are entirely normal, despite what Many guys here will tell you, and I encounter this on about 10-15% of first dates prior to sex in the 2nd or 3rd meet.

I typically reach out in a day or two and ask for the second date. If you want to succeed in this game, you’re going to need thicker skin and will need to bear some rejections regardless of who you are.

These threads should not even be created as you’re trying to protect your ego from rejection, which by that very act itself also destroys your overall success ratio. If all you pursue is “easy” green lights, you’re going to miss out on plenty of great girls who are not as forthcoming.

Be a savage in this game.

 

[RickTheToad]

Cheek kisses are entirely normal, despite what Many guys here will tell you, and I encounter this on about 10-15% of first dates prior to sex in the 2nd or 3rd meet.

I typically reach out in a day or two and ask for the second date. If you want to succeed in this game, you’re going to need thicker skin and will need to bear some rejections regardless of who you are.

These threads should not even be created as you’re trying to protect your ego from rejection, which by that very act itself also destroys your overall success ratio. If all you pursue is “easy” green lights, you’re going to miss out on plenty of great girls who are not as forthcoming.

Be a savage in this game.

Perhaps, but I was taught that cheek kisses were bad and to move on. It's not that I am protecting from rejection, as I was probably going to reach out anyway, I was just taken back a bit. I will reach out Tuesday or Wednesday and see if we can set something up.

 

[Glassguy]

Have you heard from her since the date? If so, who initiated it?

 

[sazc]

Just ask her out again.... If she says yes then she is interested in getting to know you better. It's really that simple. If she doesn't kiss you this time, I would take that as relevant information.

 

[Sigma68]

First thing I'd do is go to another town where you can get away with it and find another plate if possible, or at least branch out socially. THEN get in touch with her

 

[RickTheToad]

Have you heard from her since the date? If so, who initiated it?

Nope.

Just ask her out again.... If she says yes then she is interested in getting to know you better. It's really that simple. If she doesn't kiss you this time, I would take that as relevant information.

Plan to.

First thing I'd do is go to another town where you can get away with it and find another plate if possible, or at least branch out socially. THEN get in touch with her

Have no idea what you mean.

Am I the only one that's incapable of even paying attention to these sorts of sticking points on a FIRST DATE?

I once said something about the type of women I date and my girl at the time of 3 months was like "yeah but I'm not like that" and I realized even 3 months was not long enough for her to register analytically.

Have no idea on the point that you're trying to get across.

 

[RickTheToad]

I will also add, she knew the bartender, and she recently disclosed that she got engaged to both of us. I vaguely remember her from going to the bar prior, but she comped our drinks. The lady I was with suggested we leave a tip for her, so I did. She was originally going to leave it, but I did instead. Anyways, we were talking about it for a bit and we both were a bit shocked that the dude asked her to marry her w/o a ring. I said in my head, it's never going to happen, as they were dating for 9 years. Anyways, by mistake, I let it slip that in my 20's I was technically married but got an annulment. She didn't seem to like that too much. Before I said I it was annulled and therefore I was never married, she did state why didn't I tell her. I didn't say anything because and annulment nulls the marriage like it never happened. It was only a few months and it was due to fraud on the lady's part. I never thought it would be an issue, I guess to some Catholics it is? I'm Catholic, doesn't bother me a bit.

I guess I am replaying the date in my head at lunch right now as it's been years since I got the cheek, so I am trying to figure everything out. I'll still text her tomorrow or Wednesday, but I'm prepared for a ghost or a no go. Her birthday is this weekend too, where she's going to Miami with her friends. What's with everyone in Connecticut going to Miami these days?

 

[Skyline]

I agree with guru.

As long as she’s meeting up with you and getting physical in some way, then there’s no issue. It would only be an issue if she starts to withhold physical contact etc..

 

[sazc]

I will also add, she knew the bartender, and she recently disclosed that she got engaged to both of us. I vaguely remember her from going to the bar prior, but she comped our drinks. The lady I was with suggested we leave a tip for her, so I did. She was originally going to leave it, but I did instead. Anyways, we were talking about it for a bit and we both were a bit shocked that the dude asked her to marry her w/o a ring. I said in my head, it's never going to happen, as they were dating for 9 years. Anyways, by mistake, I let it slip that in my 20's I was technically married but got an annulment. She didn't seem to like that too much. Before I said I it was annulled and therefore I was never married, she did state why didn't I tell her. I didn't say anything because and annulment nulls the marriage like it never happened. It was only a few months and it was due to fraud on the lady's part. I never thought it would be an issue, I guess to some Catholics it is? I'm Catholic, doesn't bother me a bit.

I guess I am replaying the date in my head at lunch right now as it's been years since I got the cheek, so I am trying to figure everything out. I'll still text her tomorrow or Wednesday, but I'm prepared for a ghost or a no go. Her birthday is this weekend too, where she's going to Miami with her friends. What's with everyone in Connecticut going to Miami these days?

yea, you are over analyzing it.

This thread is about being worried about being rejected (which we all worry about) but we all need to understand that rejection isnt that big of a deal.

In fact, I am surprised you are worried enough about it to make this thread, since you seem to talk to a good amount of ladies.

 

[Robert28]

Went on a date for some drinks and we seemed to meld well together. She said I look good and I am fun to be around. I enjoy your company. She took an Uber back to her place but she walked me out and when I went for the kiss she gave me both cheeks? Ideas on how to proceed? Hang back? Not sure how to play this. Haven't experienced this in a while.

I’ve had dates go very similar to this that led to second dates, whereas dates that they made out with me for 30 mins and didn’t hear from them again. My advice is to contact her the next day, don’t wait because girls like this don’t play the “3 day rule” game. You have a 24 hour window. But don’t come off as too available, however make it crystal clear of your intentions of wanting a second date and give specifics, don’t just say “I want a second date”. Have a plan on a time and what you want to do and tell her. She will bit the hook faster than you can cast it.

 

[Glassguy]

I will also add, she knew the bartender, and she recently disclosed that she got engaged to both of us. I vaguely remember her from going to the bar prior, but she comped our drinks. The lady I was with suggested we leave a tip for her, so I did. She was originally going to leave it, but I did instead. Anyways, we were talking about it for a bit and we both were a bit shocked that the dude asked her to marry her w/o a ring. I said in my head, it's never going to happen, as they were dating for 9 years. Anyways, by mistake, I let it slip that in my 20's I was technically married but got an annulment. She didn't seem to like that too much. Before I said I it was annulled and therefore I was never married, she did state why didn't I tell her. I didn't say anything because and annulment nulls the marriage like it never happened. It was only a few months and it was due to fraud on the lady's part. I never thought it would be an issue, I guess to some Catholics it is? I'm Catholic, doesn't bother me a bit.

I guess I am replaying the date in my head at lunch right now as it's been years since I got the cheek, so I am trying to figure everything out. I'll still text her tomorrow or Wednesday, but I'm prepared for a ghost or a no go. Her birthday is this weekend too, where she's going to Miami with her friends. What's with everyone in Connecticut going to Miami these days?

Putting way to much thought into it bro. Ask her back out. It's a yes, BS or she wont respond back to you. Simple as that. So what if you were married before and for how long it lasted. You're not currently married so she shouldn't be so judgy.

 

[RickTheToad]

Annulled, not married in the eyes of God or the State. Nevertheless, I did reach out and she said she had a nice time too. Asked me about some stuff she wanted more info on, I just acknowledged the statement and she said she'll keep me updated on when she's free again. Not holding my breath.

The closing last night didn't make me feel confident, so I was taken back a bit.

 

[backseatjuan]

She’s not interested enough, if there was normal IL she’d kiss. Wanted to tell you to wait two weeks, but went with the herd to see how it will play out. After all guru1000 said there is a chance, even the btchs pitched in. Say since you watch ams, how does calling a few days after the date make you a preselected dude coming from the place of abundance?

 

[Who Dares Win]

In my experience those cheek kisses are a bad sign, even a hug would have been a better outcome, or maybe a less bad.

Regarding the fact that you are confused or not sure about her interest, its a sign itself that her interest is low.

Sorry to say that but your gut doesnt fail, your brain does...if in any moment you are confused, annoyed or p1ssed off thats the way your gut is letting you know that something is not working properly.

Her same behaviour is a further sign of low interest, no intimacy and no attempt from her to meet you again or assist you to ask her out again.

Anyway its 2019, anything less than open enthusiasm from a girl is a sign of low interest...girls nowadays cant plan their next 10 minutes let alone not giving themselves to someone they like in that moment.

 

[RickTheToad]

She’s not interested enough, if there was normal IL she’d kiss. Wanted to tell you to wait two weeks, but went with the herd to see how it will play out. After all guru1000 said there is a chance, even the btchs pitched in. Say since you watch ams, how does calling a few days after the date make you a preselected dude coming from the place of abundance?

I understand, that is why I wanted to get the community's take before I did anything. I normally wait the two or three days, but since that doesn't always work for me, I gave it a shot. No harm, no foul. If she reaches out, great, if not, it's not the end of the world. I will also add two things. She's been chasing me for two weeks in meeting up. So, I thought that was a high interest sign. The other thing, I am not sure AMS's tatics work 100% on white ladies. He even said in his earlier videos, he has experience with latin and black, not so much with white. But, in the end, we'll see. I don't chase, just throw it out there.

In my experience those cheek kisses are a bad sign, even a hug would have been a better outcome, or maybe a less bad.

Regarding the fact that you are confused or not sure about her interest, its a sign itself that her interest is low.

Sorry to say that but your gut doesnt fail, your brain does...if in any moment you are confused, annoyed or p1ssed off thats the way your gut is letting you know that something is not working properly.

Her same behaviour is a further sign of low interest, no intimacy and no attempt from her to meet you again or assist you to ask her out again.

Anyway its 2019, anything less than open enthusiasm from a girl is a sign of low interest...girls nowadays cant plan their next 10 minutes let alone not giving themselves to someone they like in that moment.

Yes, but I had to at least try. With ladies these days, what's up is down, and down is up. Since her body language was positive during the date, I didn't think there is or was much harm in going against my initial belief and just reach out and say had a nice time and would like to see you again. If it happens, it happens. There were times my gut has been wrong with the ladies, so I just went with it. More importantly, I needed to get it out of my system and just process it out of the way. The ball is in her court.

Should she reach out, I will offer to pick her up and do something. If she pulls back again, I just do the some other time routine and move on. I would say this that since she's using Uber, it's just easier for me to pick her up. We'll see, but again, not expecting anything.

 

[Glassguy]

In my experience those cheek kisses are a bad sign, even a hug would have been a better outcome, or maybe a less bad.

Regarding the fact that you are confused or not sure about her interest, its a sign itself that her interest is low.

Sorry to say that but your gut doesnt fail, your brain does...if in any moment you are confused, annoyed or p1ssed off thats the way your gut is letting you know that something is not working properly.

Her same behaviour is a further sign of low interest, no intimacy and no attempt from her to meet you again or assist you to ask her out again.

Anyway its 2019, anything less than open enthusiasm from a girl is a sign of low interest...girls nowadays cant plan their next 10 minutes let alone not giving themselves to someone they like in that moment.

This is true. Women still want a man to lead but in today's dating world most women will make it super clear that they want to see you again.

Most women that I go out with for the first time message me shortly after I leave the date. They say things like "I had a great time and I hope we can do it again", etc.

It is not uncommon for a woman to even bring up an event that she will invite me to in the near future, immediately after the end of the date.

IMO if a woman does not reach out to you very soon after the 1st date has ended, its a bad sign.

I normally ask them to shoot me a quick text when they get home safe, especially if we were drinking. I can usually gauge their text in terms of interest level based on that text when she sends it.

 

[marmel75]

This is true. Women still want a man to lead but in today's dating world most women will make it super clear that they want to see you again.

Most women that I go out with for the first time message me shortly after I leave the date. They say things like "I had a great time and I hope we can do it again", etc.

It is not uncommon for a woman to even bring up an event that she will invite me to in the near future, immediately after the end of the date.

IMO if a woman does not reach out to you very soon after the 1st date has ended, its a bad sign.

I normally ask them to shoot me a quick text when they get home safe, especially if we were drinking. I can usually gauge their text in terms of interest level based on that text when she sends it.

Typically if a woman doesnt message you after the date or early the next day its a bad sign.