"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How to play this situation?

Plantpotter

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there's this really hot girl a few years older than me who started at the company I work for about the same time as me. We both liked each other and got on well. Then, on a company training week we both got drunk and admitted to each other how we felt and got it on, and started a relationship...of sorts.

We both work from home a few hours away so don't get the chance to see each other more than a couple of times a month usually (tho usually for a few days away at a hotel), although we talk every day. She is mad for me and has told her parents and friends how much she wants us to be together etc. I feel the same. BUT!! She has a child (I'm fine with that btw) and is in a long term relationship. The guy she's in the relationship is an ******* she's left a couple of times before. He is psychologically abusive and very needy, and a bad father too. I could go on about the things he has done but will spare it. He is also a high flying executive and rarely at home. Regardless of me, she should leave him.

I am frustrated because she has often said she has never felt the way she feels towards me before, loves me deeply, etc etc. but, can't promise she will leave. Obv some of her concerns are that she is 40 years old has a kid, has horses and responsibilities and doesn't want to risk all that on a relationship only 7 months old and where I, being 5 years younger may get bored of her and leave after x number of years.

What is my best course of action and behaviour here to do what I can to keep her attracted, give her confidence in me, and ultimately to progress the relationship?

Thanks guys!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Yo'Mama

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Walk the hell away, don't look back and breathe a sigh of relief as you do so.
 

Plantpotter

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Appreciate that that may be good advice. But let's say I really like this girl. What would be the best way to increase her IL?
 

MOTU

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Bro, if she'll cheat with you she'll cheat on you. Don't invest here, you're asking to get hurt.
 

TheException

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Ya man follow what Mama and MOTU have said.....quit settling for garbage women.

She will NEVER leave her boyfriend for you because his provisions are too great. Sounds like you are already emotionally attached to her.......this cord needs severed. Only way to do this is complete NC my friend.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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VladPatton

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Walk! Don't get sucked into this vortex of shıt!!
 

Plantpotter

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Hmmm, I'm noticing a theme emerging here :)

Okay, I've thought about your advice, and also last night started reading the book 'no more mr nice guy'... NC it is.... And with pleasure!

Thanks!!
 
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