"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How to play this situation?

Plantpotter

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there's this really hot girl a few years older than me who started at the company I work for about the same time as me. We both liked each other and got on well. Then, on a company training week we both got drunk and admitted to each other how we felt and got it on, and started a relationship...of sorts.

We both work from home a few hours away so don't get the chance to see each other more than a couple of times a month usually (tho usually for a few days away at a hotel), although we talk every day. She is mad for me and has told her parents and friends how much she wants us to be together etc. I feel the same. BUT!! She has a child (I'm fine with that btw) and is in a long term relationship. The guy she's in the relationship is an ******* she's left a couple of times before. He is psychologically abusive and very needy, and a bad father too. I could go on about the things he has done but will spare it. He is also a high flying executive and rarely at home. Regardless of me, she should leave him.

I am frustrated because she has often said she has never felt the way she feels towards me before, loves me deeply, etc etc. but, can't promise she will leave. Obv some of her concerns are that she is 40 years old has a kid, has horses and responsibilities and doesn't want to risk all that on a relationship only 7 months old and where I, being 5 years younger may get bored of her and leave after x number of years.

What is my best course of action and behaviour here to do what I can to keep her attracted, give her confidence in me, and ultimately to progress the relationship?

Thanks guys!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Yo'Mama

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Walk the hell away, don't look back and breathe a sigh of relief as you do so.
 

Plantpotter

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Appreciate that that may be good advice. But let's say I really like this girl. What would be the best way to increase her IL?
 

MOTU

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Bro, if she'll cheat with you she'll cheat on you. Don't invest here, you're asking to get hurt.
 

TheException

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Ya man follow what Mama and MOTU have said.....quit settling for garbage women.

She will NEVER leave her boyfriend for you because his provisions are too great. Sounds like you are already emotionally attached to her.......this cord needs severed. Only way to do this is complete NC my friend.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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VladPatton

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Walk! Don't get sucked into this vortex of shıt!!
 

Plantpotter

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Hmmm, I'm noticing a theme emerging here :)

Okay, I've thought about your advice, and also last night started reading the book 'no more mr nice guy'... NC it is.... And with pleasure!

Thanks!!
 
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