"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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How to overcome the past and gain confidence?

Super

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Hey everyone, I love this forum, but I need some help now

Basically, I'm struggling with confidence. I wasn't very attractive in highschool (and obviously had a hard time because of it). I've spent the past 4 years working out and gained lots of muscle (nearly competition level). Things have changed... a lot of girls call me gorgeous and I KNOW I look great now... BUT I still can't get over my highschool days and I still feel insecure with girls (i.e., lots of fears of rejection)

I'm stuck in a rut, do you guys have any advice? Thanks!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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1337

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forget your high school days they don't define you. Remember you only make the rejections a big deal even though its not, stop caring what people think and do what you like not what society wants. Your in this world for a reason and yours just as important as every other guy is,everyone has their own roles so don't compare yourself to anybody else or pedestal anybody. I highly recommend you search the forums for the book reccomendation thread and look into RSD the blueprint decoded by RSD(real social dynamics) it will help with your confidence, self improvement and possibly life in general.
 

zekko

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I think it's pretty common for old insecurities like this to bedevil you later in life. Realize, however, you were a boy in high school, and now you are a man, so your old insecurities will not apply now unless you let them. Enjoy your manhood, and become the man you want to be.
 

flint

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This was/is a big issue for me as well. I can't give you an answer that I can say definitely works because I'm in the process as well. But what I can tell you is that you've got to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and make mistakes.

Once you know what you've got to do, you've got to start doing it. By working out and seeking out advice from some of the more experienced people here you've already started in terms of self-improvement. But when it comes to girls you've got to be willing to just go for it.

It's better to go for it when you know you're going to be rejected than not go for it out of fear, because if you do that you're not making any changes. I plan on succeeding by failing 20x more but that's okay because I at least gave it a shot.

If you really dedicate to changing, and focus on who you want to become more than who you were, you'll change.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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guywhoneedshelp

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At times in my life I had to listen to a tape or something just to remind myself of who I am. Today I have confidence, not so much the case 4 or 5 years ago.
 

jdbman11

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focus on your talents, your ambitions, your goals, your accomplishments, etc...

you're a fkin bodybuilder man. That's fkin sweet. How many normal joe's do you meet that are buffed up like you are. Not many bro. How many of those highschool *******s that judged looked half as good as you do now. You gotta' love who are you are right now man. You can't let the guilt and fear of the passed run your life.
 

Super

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Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the help
You guys are definitely right, I'm a man now, and I should be the man I want to be!
Rejection or not, I'm gonna go for it... flint's right, I'm not changing anything if I don't lol

and I'm definitely gonna try the confidencekicker suggested
 

JDA70

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and I'm definitely gonna try the confidencekicker suggested
Cool man. Do it. I thought I was pretty confident untill I started
that program then after thinking about the questions asked and writing
the stuff down I found that my innergame was weak and I need to
work on it.
 
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