"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

How to overcome the past and gain confidence?

Super

New Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Hey everyone, I love this forum, but I need some help now

Basically, I'm struggling with confidence. I wasn't very attractive in highschool (and obviously had a hard time because of it). I've spent the past 4 years working out and gained lots of muscle (nearly competition level). Things have changed... a lot of girls call me gorgeous and I KNOW I look great now... BUT I still can't get over my highschool days and I still feel insecure with girls (i.e., lots of fears of rejection)

I'm stuck in a rut, do you guys have any advice? Thanks!
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

1337

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 17, 2009
Messages
153
Reaction score
7
forget your high school days they don't define you. Remember you only make the rejections a big deal even though its not, stop caring what people think and do what you like not what society wants. Your in this world for a reason and yours just as important as every other guy is,everyone has their own roles so don't compare yourself to anybody else or pedestal anybody. I highly recommend you search the forums for the book reccomendation thread and look into RSD the blueprint decoded by RSD(real social dynamics) it will help with your confidence, self improvement and possibly life in general.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,806
Reaction score
10,039
I think it's pretty common for old insecurities like this to bedevil you later in life. Realize, however, you were a boy in high school, and now you are a man, so your old insecurities will not apply now unless you let them. Enjoy your manhood, and become the man you want to be.
 

flint

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2009
Messages
155
Reaction score
8
This was/is a big issue for me as well. I can't give you an answer that I can say definitely works because I'm in the process as well. But what I can tell you is that you've got to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and make mistakes.

Once you know what you've got to do, you've got to start doing it. By working out and seeking out advice from some of the more experienced people here you've already started in terms of self-improvement. But when it comes to girls you've got to be willing to just go for it.

It's better to go for it when you know you're going to be rejected than not go for it out of fear, because if you do that you're not making any changes. I plan on succeeding by failing 20x more but that's okay because I at least gave it a shot.

If you really dedicate to changing, and focus on who you want to become more than who you were, you'll change.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

guywhoneedshelp

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 17, 2008
Messages
646
Reaction score
8
At times in my life I had to listen to a tape or something just to remind myself of who I am. Today I have confidence, not so much the case 4 or 5 years ago.
 

jdbman11

Don Juan
Joined
May 9, 2005
Messages
93
Reaction score
3
Location
Tx
focus on your talents, your ambitions, your goals, your accomplishments, etc...

you're a fkin bodybuilder man. That's fkin sweet. How many normal joe's do you meet that are buffed up like you are. Not many bro. How many of those highschool *******s that judged looked half as good as you do now. You gotta' love who are you are right now man. You can't let the guilt and fear of the passed run your life.
 

Super

New Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Thanks everyone! I really appreciate the help
You guys are definitely right, I'm a man now, and I should be the man I want to be!
Rejection or not, I'm gonna go for it... flint's right, I'm not changing anything if I don't lol

and I'm definitely gonna try the confidencekicker suggested
 

JDA70

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2007
Messages
274
Reaction score
1
and I'm definitely gonna try the confidencekicker suggested
Cool man. Do it. I thought I was pretty confident untill I started
that program then after thinking about the questions asked and writing
the stuff down I found that my innergame was weak and I need to
work on it.
 
Top