"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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How to market my bionic d1ck?

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Most girls don't even know what this is. How the heck do I bring this up? Because the few times I've gotten drunk enough to start talking about it, the responses have been good.

I think that would get me more than a Lamborghini, but I'll do both.

I'm a single man with a Lamborghini and a robot d1ck. I'm trying to be out of this world. They're heard it all from the guys on this planet, but I'm not a mere man, I'm part robot!

And my Lamborghini will be orange!
 

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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Oh and I need to be traveling all the time.

Like, hey let's go to Paris on a whim. Ever been to China, Russia, India, Brazil?

Let's go right now! My contractors will take care of the work for me.

But maybe I'll be too old by the time this comes to fruition.
 
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