How to make male friends?

[TheLoner]

why do you want male friends??

Well because I don't have any male friends at all.
That seems very strange, don't you think?

And future potential girlfriend would find that to be strange too.

 

[TheLoner]

Bro ill be your friend.

Thanks, but you are too far away. I need some friends in Chicago.
I tried to make friends with more of the guys from my soccer team today,
Ray and Kenneth, I asked them if they would like to chill with me at a bar.
They both looked me kind of strange, and patted me on the back saying "That's good for you buddy".

So they completely avoided my question and end up saying stuff like that. I don't understand why guys don't want to be my friend.

 

[foreverAFC]

you need to train in martial arts instead of playing soccer so that you can be dangerous loner, similar to Joe Davola from Seinfeld or Marv from Sin City, feed off your loneliness and use it to better yourself

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81iSjW8v0Qs

 

[switch]

Thanks, but you are too far away. I need some friends in Chicago.
I tried to make friends with more of the guys from my soccer team today,
Ray and Kenneth, I asked them if they would like to chill with me at a bar.
They both looked me kind of strange, and patted me on the back saying "That's good for you buddy".

So they completely avoided my question and end up saying stuff like that. I don't understand why guys don't want to be my friend.

you are acting like a faggot... have you noticed the soccer team guys avoiding you in the showers, or taking guard in the locker rooms? :crackup:

 

[irocknike23]

1)This forum is not made on how to get dudes...
2)You are a troll

 

[FairShake]

Loner you sound needy. Needy people wear it on their sleeve and it's not an attractive look. There is some solid advice on this thread though and if you attempt it you might have some success.

Friendships have to be organic. You can't be friends with someone just because you play soccer with them. You need to be able to have fun with them. They need to enjoy your company more than just on the soccer field. Are you friendly and open? Can you make jokes and, just as importantly, laugh at jokes? Are you socially appropriate?

Also friendships need to progress slowly. Most people I hang out with I didn't get their number and start chilling with them. We worked together, bullsh!tted together for a long time, then hung out. By that time we knew each other so well that it was natural to get together. We just did the sh!t we would talk about. Poker, drinking, eating, riding mtn bikes, jamming on the guitar, video games, etc.

From what you've said about the reactions by your teammates I think you are failing in one of these areas. Either you aren't a particularly likable guy or you're trying to make friends before they want to be friends with you. You should be able to figure out which one it is.

 

[Swampcamel]

Most dudes are idiots and/or douchebags and have no concept of male brotherhood. Plenty of phases where I was only hanging with girls. I only hang with guys who have common interests, IE play music, work on business together, or enjoy sports. Once upon a time vidya games worked too, then I found out most gamers are delusional or *******s, and, like all men, hate losing and become angsty spoil sports.

I have 3 male friends I can count as good ones that I can drop in on anytime and consider worthwhile wings, in a sense that goes beyond pick up. If we're not working on something, though, or not at the same party/show, we don't "hang out." Girls sit around and chit chat and spew emotions. Guys get things done together.

 

[Brosy]

It sounds like Ray and Kenneth disrespected you, next soccer practice say you want to practice slide tackles and target them.

The soccer manager might say "NO SLIDE TACKLES!" but just say "huh?" Like you didn't hear and do it anyway.

Remember, nobody ever got a red card just in training.

 

[TheLoner]

It sounds like Ray and Kenneth disrespected you, next soccer practice say you want to practice slide tackles and target them.

The soccer manager might say "NO SLIDE TACKLES!" but just say "huh?" Like you didn't hear and do it anyway.

Remember, nobody ever got a red card just in training.

Won't that make me look even more foolish than I already am?
I am already the loner. I don't want to look like the crazy loner.

 

[SgtSplacker]

The whole frame of mind here is fu-cked. Stop worrying about friends, worry about yourself. Play harder, dress better, stop being such a homo. Friends and women will follow you if you are worth following.

But if you are lurking around locker rooms trying to make male friends like that you will forever be the weirdo you currently are. Do not allow your life to become stagnant, stay busy, do things. If you ever catch yourself at home thinking of how you have no friends, that is the perfect moment to leave your house and go practice, or work out or whatever.

Friends came through admiration, if you suck nobody wants to hang around with you.

Get it?

 

[Rainman4707]

You're trying to hard to make friends. It stands out & makes you look desperate.
I played for a football team a few years back..we played the game then went to the bar afterwards to talk about the game.

 

[Sik]

Obvious Troll is Obvious.

Don't waste your time with this troll.

 

[FairShake]

Won't that make me look even more foolish than I already am?
I am already the loner. I don't want to look like the crazy loner.

He was kidding dude. If you didn't know that you need better people skills. If you did know that and were joking you need to dial the self-deprecating back a bit because it sounds sad.

 

[Rainman4707]

He was kidding dude. If you didn't know that you need better people skills. If you did know that and were joking you need to dial the self-deprecating back a bit because it sounds sad.

To be fair. I actually thought he was serious too..pmsl.

 

[LiveFreeX]

The whole frame of mind here is fu-cked. Stop worrying about friends, worry about yourself. Play harder, dress better, stop being such a homo. Friends and women will follow you if you are worth following.

Don't listen to these fvckin douche bags.

I collect friends like crazy, I'll talk to just about anybody on the subway or the street, get a phone number and email and bring them into my circle as fast as possible. Strength in numbers right bro. I think about it like creating a network of people as fast as possible. Get Settler's Of Catan and a few other board games, buy an XBOX 360 and a 3D big screen tv, get Dungeons & Dragons, buy some Magic Cards. Setup a place at your house with a few bean bag couches around a table, some place that would be super comfortable to hang out, throw some beers in the fridge. Whenever we need a job or some hookups, we always consult the circle, my dad ran his business just like this.

Done. You have a fvckin man cave. Then start talking to people on the street. To be honest, these guys on your soccer team sound like huge faggots. If you had asked me if I would like to hang out, I woulda said hells yeah! We have about 7 or 8 guys here where we regularly get together for board games night, bar/club night, video games night. Life can't ALL be about attracting women... that part of you fades away when you get married anyway, and eventually you desire male relationships. Women, although very nice to have, can't appreciate the beauty of war machines and fighting styles, talk about anything political, have in depth discussions about the future of space or business.. When I get together with some of my friends, we build stuff or talk about starting small businesses. women are there to be ****ed and take care of family, they don't provide much mental stimulation. If you are looking for some friends locally, go sign up for the freemasons (is that against code? I can't remember...fvck it) Usually during guys night, they bring their dates, wives and girlfriends and the girls go have a bit of a girls shopping night or sometimes they play games with us... they go into the background and do their girl stuff. I live in China btw so things are different here and foreigners are more likely to reach out to each other and create networks. On a side note, I once asked a guy here if he wanted to hang out and he said he didn't have time and wasn't very interested, later on I learned he was 'bi'.

You are not crazy k, the guys on this forum are just friendless losers, most of them.

 

[AriMamba]

Great post Deep Dish

and LiveFreeX good info

 

[TheLoner]

Don't listen to these fvckin douche bags.

I collect friends like crazy, I'll talk to just about anybody on the subway or the street, get a phone number and email and bring them into my circle as fast as possible. Strength in numbers right bro. I think about it like creating a network of people as fast as possible. Get Settler's Of Catan and a few other board games, buy an XBOX 360 and a 3D big screen tv, get Dungeons & Dragons, buy some Magic Cards. Setup a place at your house with a few bean bag couches around a table, some place that would be super comfortable to hang out, throw some beers in the fridge. Whenever we need a job or some hookups, we always consult the circle, my dad ran his business just like this.

Done. You have a fvckin man cave. Then start talking to people on the street. To be honest, these guys on your soccer team sound like huge faggots. If you had asked me if I would like to hang out, I woulda said hells yeah! We have about 7 or 8 guys here where we regularly get together for board games night, bar/club night, video games night. Life can't ALL be about attracting women... that part of you fades away when you get married anyway, and eventually you desire male relationships. Women, although very nice to have, can't appreciate the beauty of war machines and fighting styles, talk about anything political, have in depth discussions about the future of space or business.. When I get together with some of my friends, we build stuff or talk about starting small businesses. women are there to be ****ed and take care of family, they don't provide much mental stimulation. If you are looking for some friends locally, go sign up for the freemasons (is that against code? I can't remember...fvck it) Usually during guys night, they bring their dates, wives and girlfriends and the girls go have a bit of a girls shopping night or sometimes they play games with us... they go into the background and do their girl stuff. I live in China btw so things are different here and foreigners are more likely to reach out to each other and create networks. On a side note, I once asked a guy here if he wanted to hang out and he said he didn't have time and wasn't very interested, later on I learned he was 'bi'.

You are not crazy k, the guys on this forum are just friendless losers, most of them.

Great Advice LiveFreeX, is it easier to make friends in China than it is in America?

 

[yyc12]

Well because I don't have any male friends at all.
That seems very strange, don't you think?

And future potential girlfriend would find that to be strange too.

Well, it might be, but just tell women that you don't connect with the guys you meet. How can that be your fault? As someone else said, friendships (and all relationships for that matter), need to be organic; it can't happen just because you want it to. Think about it: do you even like the dudes on your soccer team? Do you even have things in common with them other than soccer? Do you even talk to any one of them more than the others?

Right now, in the city I live in, I've had no stable guys friends. People have come and gone, moved away, got married, or i'm only just friends with them at work and since they are already married, it doesn't go further. None of the women I've talked to/been with have really cared. They see how I am with them and that I'm "normal" otherwise. To be honest, dude, I don't miss having them. I have female friends mostly here. I get first hand observations on how women roll, from them, not from dudes who think they know.

I'll be honest, from sounds of it, you're probably on the quirky/introverted side and don't really connect with people in general. There are lots of people like you out there, there's nothing wrong with that. I suspect you probably wouldn't enjoy doing what "normal" people do for fun anyway. Do you even drink? Do you like mainstream sports and activities? All these things determine how easy it is to make friends. At the end of the day, you will have a harder time getting a girl obviously, but, the beauty of the situation is, is that when you do (might be 1 girl every 6 yrs but it is what it is), you won't have to "fake" anything. She'll know exactly what you are and accept you for it; you wouldn't have to change anything about yourself, that's the coolest part (i mean do you even want to change? do you wish you had a different personality? i'm guessing deep down you probably don't). Not many women like that out there though; does take luck and patience.

 

[Brosy]

Won't that make me look even more foolish than I already am?
I am already the loner. I don't want to look like the crazy loner.

this thread still has legs, brilliant!

Mrs TheLoner, if they object you could ask how come two lads circa 15 years old (?) have grandad names?